RamenHokage
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Neurotic Erotic by OktopiasScarletQueen
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), baldur's gate 3 - Fandom
29 May 2024
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Summary
Scholars write in books extensively about the curse that is vampirism. They talk of an existence in darkness, of blood-lust and unyielding hunger; They lament on spawn sworn to vampire lords, and cry out ‘beware a coven!’. You’ll notice, through all the flowery language and the long tangents, most of these books are written with an outsider view. These fun little books are filler pieces in an author’s repertoire, an easy sell to the newly-made monster hunter or studious wizard. If Astarion were to write a book—gods forbid—he’d write much the same things, but include the one crucial detail that most would miss or overlook: being undead is cold.
Or
Astarion is cold, and Gale is warm.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,481
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 43
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 553
Bookmarked by RamenHokage
27 Dec 2024
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Summary
Astarion thought this stupid hot sauce show would last a season or two before it was cancelled. Ten years later, he’s still Cazador’s sidekick, taking potshots for laughs and enduring worse abuse when the cameras stop rolling.
An upcoming guest—famed magician Gale Dekarios—has never seen an episode of Hot Mess, and he’s about to shake things up.
Series
- Part 1 of Sauce
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,065
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,416
- Kudos:
- 1,362
- Bookmarks:
- 323
- Hits:
- 33,505
Bookmarked by RamenHokage
20 Sep 2024
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Summary
There’s always something with the shy ones, Astarion thinks, stroking himself a bit faster. The thought of this shy, demure man spreading himself open on that massive toy is near-dizzying – Astarion has to grip the base of his cock to prevent himself from coming prematurely.
Better yet, he doesn’t need to imagine. He’s about to see it for himself.
“I’m glad to see you all approve,” Gale comments. “While I have your attention though, do excuse me while I take the chance to impart some tips surrounding the use of silicone products.”
What, Astarion thinks.
Gale is quite possibly the worst camboy in all of Faerûn. To his chagrin, Astarion finds out that he's rather into it.
Bookmarked by RamenHokage
26 Aug 2024
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Summary
Gale accidentally texts Astarion instead of his coworker. Shenanigans, romance and sex ensue.
Ft. Art by Calolily and voiceacting by Wave!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,346
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 587
- Bookmarks:
- 103
- Hits:
- 12,032
Bookmarked by RamenHokage
30 Jul 2024
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Summary
After Gale accused Astarion of cheating at cards, the rogue picked up an interest in learning lanceboard to challenge the wizard at his game of preference. To sweeten the deal and make things more interesting, the two have agreed that the victor wins a favor from the loser.
The quiet, slow deliberateness made in each move by Gale was gone now. Astarion had fallen into the wizard's trap and he was starting to see there would be no way out of it. All of the vampire's moves would be made out of a desperate clumsy attempt to protect his king and prolong its downfall. "Razor's Edge to queen's bishop two."
He continued his oration as he reached over, an index finger resting on a pawn. "Because sometimes, that small victory is enough to give them the momentum to keep going forward. The resolve of man to survive against all odds – fascinating, wouldn't you agree?" He moved the pawn diagonal, replacing Astarion's pawn with his own, inching ever so closer to the black side of the board. Once more, his bishop had a clear shot to his Cyric. "Pawn to queen's knight seven. Check."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,411
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 250
- Kudos:
- 1,156
- Bookmarks:
- 250
- Hits:
- 17,787
Bookmarked by RamenHokage
26 Jul 2024