Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
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Summary
Hermione Granger is very good at control. Her career. Her intellect. Her life. Everything really.
Her sex life? Less so — especially after Ron Weasley leaves her with a long list of things she was made to feel ashamed of wanting. So she writes a list. Hermione's Kinky Sex List. And it is absolutely not meant to be found by Draco Malfoy — her long-time rival, and inconveniently attractive candidate for the same promotion.
Unfortunately, he finds it anyway. More unfortunately: he offers to help her complete it.
What begins as an ill-advised arrangement between rivals becomes something deeper, and far more dangerous than either of them planned. And the list is only the beginning.
Updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 153,831
- Chapters:
- 22/?
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Bookmarked by Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
20 Jan 2026
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Summary
Hermione decides to run for the hills, ending her traumatic relationship with Ron Weasley after he because abuse and controlling. Running away to Hogwarts for her Eight year, to finish her education. Only Ron isn't letting her go that easy, he follows her. In need of help and a place to hide, The Snakes take her in. She finds protection, understanding, comfort, a family with them. Draco declares Hermione Granger as his when Ron comes demanding her back. Can they build something together while she's fighting for her life? The Snakes refuse to give up easy, they're willing to go to war again over the Golden Girl, but just how Golden is she really?
Series
- Part 1 of A Game of Darkness
Bookmarked by Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
18 Jan 2026
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Summary
The summer after the Battle of Hogwarts saw an unprecedented number of magi-biological presentations. All of a sudden, Wizarding Britain had found itself with more Alphas and Omegas than had been seen in the last two centuries combined. Though no one could pinpoint the reason for this boom in secondary gender presentation.
Many historians credited the triumph over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for the influx, but others feared it was his final curse, left behind to mock those who thought him beaten.
Whatever the reason, Hogwarts and the rest of Magical Britain have been left reeling as they try to adapt to the new normal in a world full of trauma and unpredictability.
Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are about to find out just how cruel nature can be as they try to navigate these changes, where nothing is certain and only one thing seems to ring true:
“Alphas need Omegas.”
Bookmarked by Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
23 Dec 2025
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Hermione never expected her third and final date with Andrew to end with Draco Malfoy--disheveled, furious, and unexpectedly protective--dragging her away from danger. What follows is a slow unraveling of everything she thought she knew about him.
Suddenly, Hermione is dealing with a version of Draco who cooks, teases, apologizes, kisses like he means it, and--Merlin help her--wants a future.
It's the healthiest, happiest thing either of them has ever had.
Which is why they never see the threat coming.--
"What did you just put in her drink?"Andrew startled, eyes going wide. "Malfoy--bloody hell, mind your--"
Draco grabbed the front of his robes and slammed him back into the table so hard the glassware shattered.
"You're going to answer," he growled, "before I arrange your face so thoroughly your own mum files a missing persons report."
Andrew whimpered in pain. "It was nothing--I swear--just a little relaxant--she's so uptight--"
Draco saw red.
"If you ever go near Hermione Granger again--if you ever speak her name again--I will kill you."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,644
- Chapters:
- 14/24
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 285
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- 112
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- 12,273
Bookmarked by Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
13 Dec 2025
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Summary
What if the Addams Family wasn't as loving as they pretended to be, and that's why Wednesday was so emotionally constipated? What if Wednesday wasn't just weird or psychopathic but instead dealing with years full of trauma and abuse? The Crackstone incident might just have been the last straw that broke the camel's back.
OR Wednesday is struggling. Really struggling. She's trying to deal with severe PTSD, a stalker, Tyler being on the loose, a creepy new guidance counselor, and Enid revealing that she's her mate and all the weird shit that comes with that. She's about to reach her breaking point and really needs to learn to accept help - because she will need it.
Also, Larissa Weems is alive!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 494,666
- Chapters:
- 118/?
- Comments:
- 3,870
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- 2,913
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- 316
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- 133,353
Bookmarked by Seriouslyseriouslyseriously
13 Sep 2025