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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,329
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- 29,225
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- 11,583
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Bookmarked by Silvermooncat
05 Apr 2025
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Magister AU. The Fifth Blight strikes Ferelden, and Malcolm’s old Tevinter citizenship chases the Hawke family north instead of south—straight into seats of power in the magisterium. Few in Minrathous welcome such foreigners, but when an unfriendly duel lands Danarius’s prized slave squarely in Hawke’s possession, not even a magister can predict the upheaval that follows.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 94,393
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 1,244
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- 2,759
- Bookmarks:
- 651
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- 48,562
Bookmarked by Silvermooncat
07 Dec 2022
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Shadow on the Run by jawsandbones
Fandoms: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
06 Jan 2017
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There are monsters that hide under your bed, in your closet, under the stairs. Those things that go bump in the night? They wait around the corner. If only you had someone to protect you. A late Victorian-era re-imagining of Dragon Age 2, focusing on Hawke and Fenris.
He tells himself that he should be killing witches, not making deals with them. He has grown weak in his desperation. He will use this witch, he will kill Danarius, and then he will root out the rest of the infection in the city. He already knows a witch to start with.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 81,400
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 1,165
- Bookmarks:
- 291
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- 29,797
Bookmarked by Silvermooncat
08 Nov 2017
