Simperius



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”

    “Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”

    “You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”

    ***

    Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.

    Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,774
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,091
    Kudos:
    5,626
    Bookmarks:
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    Hits:
    61,855

    08 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show.

    When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff.

    -----

    Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me.

    I’m a gif. And a meme.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,481
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    439
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    996
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    296
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    14,173

    29 Oct 2025

  3. Public Bookmark 10

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    "Anthony looked at the shrouded figure on the table and smirked.
    'You gonna introduce me to your friend there?'
    'That didn’t work the last time you tried it.” The man said, “or the time before that. Or the time before that. In fact, it's never worked at all. So why do you keep trying?'
    'Just making your life interesting, Mr. Fell.'
    'I have the corpses for that, Mr. Crowley.'"

    Language:
    English
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    4,627
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    10
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    790

    28 Oct 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 8

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    Months after they fall out, Gerri decides to send Roman a picture of herself wearing a strap-on. It's payback, a way to put things right - or so she tells herself. [Repost]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,180
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    80
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    8
    Hits:
    866

    08 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 58

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    The whole thing took about 90 seconds. He’s pretty sure she spent longer laughing at him.

    or, when there's a will there's a way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    269
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    3,505

    08 Oct 2025