TheGayestOfMelons
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Summary
It's been about a year since the barrier fell, and a lot has changed - though not in very surprising ways. People are still jerks to anyone new and different, you're still freaked out by the idea of getting serious with anyone, your job is still weird and awesome. Oh, and your cat still has seriously no chill.
Also there is skeleton dong and small corporate politics.
"But it's too long!" You say. That's exactly the sort of attitude that stops me from making boxed mac and cheez when EasyMac's right there. Don't be like me. If you're going to indulge in trash, commit to it, man.
I mean also eventually the plotting gets so tight you could bounce a quarter off it.Book One: Skarmageddon --- Chapters 1 - 92
Book Two: Even Skarmier --- Chapters 93 - 170
Epilogue shit --- 171 to like, whatever- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 484,012
- Chapters:
- 176/?
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 10,416
- Kudos:
- 12,568
- Bookmarks:
- 1,325
- Hits:
- 351,881
Bookmarked by TheGayestOfMelons
27 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I unironically think about this fic so much. Like at least once a week. You've changed my brain chemistry like over a decade ago.
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Summary
Something goes wrong. The crown is split during Narinder's defeat, splitting the power between him and the Lamb.
Narinder keeps a portion of his godhood, and the Lamb finds that abilities they had access to before are no longer possible: Healing is cut short. Powers are halved. And there is a very real chance of permadeath, as the ability to resurrect is not possible without full power, and the God of Death is not cooperative.
Afterlife and Purgatory are not options either. Dying means erasure. Gone.Lambert knows Narinder grows stronger by the day, crown or not, and yet keeps him spared as they try to figure out how to complete their own goals. Narinder vows vengeance on the lamb for usurping him. After a few unsuccessful murder attempts, he's in for the long haul. It is only a matter of time before the Lamb's guard is down before he can strike, and The One Who Waits is very patient. When a mystic being demands they save the bishops from purgatory, an alliance is in order.
Except...the lamb's actions and their presence begin to unlock abilities within the God of Death he didn't know he had prior to his imprisonment, among other fickle things, like emotions. The prophecy didn't warn him of that part.
Series
- Part 1 of The Rehabilitation Of Death
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Summary
Over a decade since he split from the only man he ever loved, Machete is now a cardinal in the political mire that is the Catholic Church. He has worked tirelessly to secure his own position and work towards his goals, having abandoned the idea of ever seeing his love again. Things are shaken up, however, when there is an attempt on his life. Now, plots will be uncovered, friendships will be tested, and something abandoned will suddenly be rekindled...
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you move to dayshift but aren't paid any more, go figure by tuzesdays
Fandoms: Five Nights at Freddy's
24 Mar 2026
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Summary
You never, never wanted to be on dayshift. All those children running around, being loud and messy and eugh... but that's what corporate scheduled you for, and they're the ones that write your checks, so. You weren't expecting to get along with the daycare attendant, but that doesn't mean you want to stay on dayshift just to hang out with them.
Too bad you can't back out now.
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Series
- Part 1 of Please, While I'm Here
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'The Heavenly Body' Case File in Question by Solunest for NaffEclipse
Fandoms: Five Nights at Freddy's
25 Mar 2023
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You take pride in your work. You have a personal mission to clean this city from its corrupt state and those corrupting it. Although recently you've settled into a detective job in your city's police department and your celestial animatronic chief has been twisting something in your heart. In your journey to create a perfect mindset to cleanse this city, there has been a contemplation that imperfection might sound more applicable.
Y'all. I am here to twist knives. Not for the faint of heart. I wield my feels and plot like a tank and I will run you over. ovo;;
Series
- Part 1 of The Book of Heavenly