Thisissmetrying
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Summary
Neil swallows back blood. “Andrew.”
“Abram,” Andrew returns.
“I’m losing my mind. I think I’m losing my mind.”
“You aren’t,” Andrew says, so easy, so certain. “You’re tired. You’re scared. That’s it.”
Neil grits his teeth. “I’m,” he exhales shakily. “I’m – seeing things,” he admits.
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In which Andrew gets into a car accident one week into the off-season, and everything is fine right up until he starts dying every night in Neil’s dreams. Things get worse, and then they get better.
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Or, how trauma and triggers persist even after decades of safety, and how Andrew and Neil navigate them and take care of each other throughout it all.
Bookmarked by Thisissmetrying
21 Dec 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
The best domestic married andreil I've ever read with a perfect hurt/comfort
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- Words:
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- Works:
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- Bookmarks:
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i’m gonna find my ghost that’s lost in outer space by cyanica
Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
21 Oct 2023
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Summary
"You know me,” Andrew says. “Do you know you, Neil?”
Neil blinks at him, empty. He doesn’t recognise his name.
“I…” Neil falters a moment, breaking his gaze, and looking down at his own body like he expects to find something else. He checks his own pulse, two fingers to the side of his wrist. Neil looks up at Andrew after a few seconds of murmuring numbers, not quite frowning but almost. “I feel gone,” he says. “Is my – am I here?”
Or Neil has a dissociative episode, and Andrew contemplates the terrifying ordeal of memory and being known and not. He also brings Neil back. That too.
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It doesn't make sense. Neil was fine. More than fine. He’s safe at home with Andrew, and this should be the best possible ending to one of Neil’s best days, but when Neil squeezes his eyes shut, all he can see is —
Riko grinning with vicious pleasure as he slices Neil open. Riko’s eyes reflecting the glow of the lighter licking Neil’s skin. Riko laughing as a tattoo gun needle digs into Neil’s cheek.
Riko, Riko, Riko, smothering and impossible to escape. Panic knifes through Neil as he yanks uselessly against the handcuffs. No, no, no —
And then he’s saying it aloud, “No, no, no,” because there isn't a gag cutting into the sides of his mouth. Because Neil isn’t at Evermore. He’s at home with Andrew, who’s right there when Neil opens his eyes — only near the foot of the bed now, not touching Neil at all.
Neil has long gotten used to reading the faint shades of emotion that pass for expressions on Andrew’s face. But never, not even in Andrew's medicated, manically expressive days, has Neil seen Andrew wear anything like his current look of horrified shock.
Neil agrees to try the handcuffs in bed. It goes badly. Cue angst and h/c.