VirginSunflowerOil
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Rebel Alliance - Department of Vader Studies by VirginSunflowerOil
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types
21 Jul 2026
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Summary
Luke Skywalker has absolutely no idea why Darth Vader refuses to let anyone kill him.
The Rebels don't know either.
Han Solo starts a betting board to answer one simple question:
What is actually wrong with Darth Vader?
What begins as a joke snowballs into the Rebel Alliance's entirely unofficial—and alarmingly well-funded—Department of Vader Studies, where every strange encounter, Imperial order, bounty hunter mishap, and leaked memo is carefully analysed.
The theories range from "Luke is an endangered species" to "Boba Fett is his aggressively overprotective babysitter."
Meanwhile, Vader ominously becomes Emperor, Boba Fett discovers the joy of internet trolling, the HoloNet loses its collective mind, and the entire galaxy somehow invents thousands of increasingly ridiculous explanations for Vader's behaviour...
...while dismissing the real answer as far too absurd to be possible.
Or: the galaxy creates a conspiracy board so large it nearly discovers that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father—then unanimously votes that theory is the stupidest one on the wall.