archaeopt3ris
Fandoms
- Haikyuu!! (1)
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
In retrospect, accepting that liquid abomination, about which Oikawa had said, “This is the nectar of the gods, Kei-chan, you’ll love it,” (and he’d been partly correct, as it did taste like the piss of Cthulhu, the demon squid king himself), had been a terrible mistake. He should have known better than to drink the alarmingly green concoction after an irate Iwaizumi yanked Oikawa out from behind the bar by his hair and yelled, “You’re not the bartender!” and Oikawa wouldn’t stop giggling even though his hairdo was being mercilessly disfigured. Naïvely, maybe, Kei had still sucked the entire drink down in one go (and tried valiantly, really, not to gag it all back up immediately). He wouldn’t give Oikawa the satisfaction.
Or, Tsukki gets sloshed and monologues about various misconceptions found in the media about dinosaurs.
Recent bookmarks
-
snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
Tags
Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
-
Tags
Summary
“I want an apology first.”
“For what?” Futakuchi asks incredulously.
Kentarou’s self-preservation instincts activate again and he lunges to cover Yahaba’s mouth. Yahaba catches him with one hand pressed against his chest, which gets Kentarou’s heart racing out of fear exclusively, and not anything else.
“For making me look at your face for so long,” he says sweetly.
Three times Kyoutani had to hold Yahaba back, and one time he didn’t.
-
every cloud has a silver lining by Anonymous
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
17 Feb 2018
Tags
Summary
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Concerning MidoriyaHello Iida,
It pains me greatly to be requesting this but could you please speak to the the production team about angling the camera upwards? We all love Midoriya, he’s a great guy, and he really does look so good in those new fitted trousers but it is negatively affecting productivity around here with our executive producer and we are falling behind.
Thank you,
Yaoyorozu Momo
orTodoroki insists it's not unprofessional to have a crush on the weatherman.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,624
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 443
- Kudos:
- 4,513
- Bookmarks:
- 1,142
- Hits:
- 56,090
Bookmarked by archaeopt3ris
11 Jul 2020
-
Tags
Summary
The last place on earth Sakusa Kiyoomi wants to be is on this godforsaken ship sailing across the seas to attend a boring science lecture, but it is a necessary evil if he wishes to avoid attending his grandmother's birthday celebrations.
That is, until his ship is boarded by a band of pirates and Kiyoomi finds himself in extremely unwanted company.
He can cope with most of the rambunctious crew; though they're armed to the hilt, they're relatively harmless.
He cannot, however, cope with human hurricane Miya Atsumu.
Series
- Part 1 of Briny Seas and Full Hearts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,190
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 1,101
- Kudos:
- 5,789
- Bookmarks:
- 1,791
- Hits:
- 148,283
Bookmarked by archaeopt3ris
21 Jan 2022
-
area cryptid upset no one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory by crimsonseekers
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
24 Dec 2020
Tags
Summary
“My life is a nightmare,” Dabi muttered blankly.
“Nah, this is hilarious,” Hawks said, and while he wasn’t explicitly laughing, Dabi knew that those weird little chirps he was letting out were pointed at him. “Imagine if we go through all this effort and you don’t even have some sort of dramatic background or tragic backstory to justify you being this emo, you’re just a hot topic junkie or something.”
“That’s fucking worse.”
Or,
Dabi has amnesia and keeps reading conspiracy theories about himself in an attempt to figure out who he is, gets the League in on it, and they dismantle organized crime, revolutionize society, and ravage the hero system in the process. Hawks suffers.
Series
- Part 1 of [insert tragic backstory]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,710
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 92
- Comments:
- 895
- Kudos:
- 18,477
- Bookmarks:
- 5,544
- Hits:
- 249,038
Bookmarked by archaeopt3ris
02 Mar 2022