blondieu
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Recent works
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Summary
It wasn't about his weight, or the way he looked, well, maybe some of it was, because when you’ve got millions of eyes on you, people watching your every move, every post, every angle, and strangers online commenting how you don't look 17 anymore, or that you’ve “gained weight,” it does something to you. Even if you pretend it doesn’t. Even if you laugh it off.
But it was about hurting himself. About How he doesn't deserve to eat. How he deserves to hurt.
Matt's never liked himself, Too boring, Too quiet, Too annoying. A burden, even.
And somewhere along the line, starving himself started to feel like the only thing he could do right.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
All's fair in hate and hockey.
They’re supposed to hate each other.
They’ve trained to hate each other.
And yet somehow every argument ends with them standing way too close, breathing the same air, staring at each other’s mouths instead of the scoreboard.
Chris is the star athlete, Matt is the black sheep.
But once that line blurs, it doesn’t unblur.
Bookmarked by blondieu
03 Feb 2026
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Summary
He so desperately wanted to believe that his brothers wanted to listen to what he had to say, not because they had to. But even then, they don't let him finish even simple sentences. And wow, wasn't that just sad? Maybe his younger self was right about him not having a personality. Why did he shift his belief into thinking that he did?
He was boring. Negative. Annoying.
It was as if his words immediately went over their heads. He was too much.
Or, the one where Matt refuses to speak after spiraling in his thoughts.
Series
Bookmarked by blondieu
18 Dec 2024
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- Words:
- 8,512
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 6
Bookmarked by blondieu
29 Aug 2024
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I'll Look After You by Jason_Todds_Thigh_Holster
Fandoms: sturniolo triplets, Video Blogging RPF
23 Nov 2023
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Summary
''Why'd you put off eating for so long, Matt?''
''I wasn't trying to stop myself from eating, I swear,'' Matt verifies. ''I got so caught up between our streams, podcast, and uploading schedule that it never felt like I had time. I'd just forgotten...''
''Then you tell us,'' Nick insists firmly. ''When something like uploading affects you to the point that you aren't eating, tell us, Matt. You should know by now We're a team and that nothing's worth that, not anything,''
Series
- Part 3 of Matt Sturniolo One-Shots
Bookmarked by blondieu
05 Jun 2024
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Tags
Summary
Matthew can't cope with mental pain, so he starts something he can't get rid of.
Series
- Part 1 of Somewhere beyond consciousness
Bookmarked by blondieu
21 Jan 2024