byun



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    His entire body felt tense as the door was pushed open. He trained his eyes on the floor, monologuing before he could stop himself,

    “Just so you know, my buddies paid for this dance for me and I’m sure you’re very nice and very pretty and good at what you do but I’m actually gay so you can just- Do what you need to do but I don’t want you to be offended because I’m not as into this as you’re probably…usually…used to…”

    He trailed away as he looked up, and met the eyes of the very tall, very broad, very handsome man leaning against the doorframe.

    They stared at each other, and Shane blinked, struck dumb.

    Or, the night of JJ's bachelor party, Shane is forced into a lap dance he very much does not want. Until he does, and everything changes.

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    20 Feb 2026

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    “What’s wrong with the table runner we have now? We like that one. We picked it out together at Pottery Barn.”

    Ilya stops his fussing to smile at Shane. They’ve been living together for two months now, but he still melts every time Shane says words like ‘together’ and ‘we’ and ‘us.’ It makes Shane want to throw him down on the table and eat him alive.

    “Nothing is wrong with it. I love it, because we picked it out together.”

    “Okay… so what’s the deal with finding the table runner my mom got us?”

    “That one matches the flowers I bought, and the new blankets on the couch. We cannot have these people thinking we live like divorced fathers.”

    “Ilya, no one would ever think that. We’re one of the only couples without a toy pile stashed in the corner of the living room. And we keep this house in top shape, because you know I’ll lose my shit if we don’t.”

    “I know that, but they don’t know that! What other conclusion will they come to if our dining room does not match the flow of the rest of the downstairs?”

    Or, Ilya's dream of being Shane Hollander's proud WAG comes to fruition

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    01 Feb 2026

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    "Is this like - a prank?" Shane finally asked, looking down at the underwear again. For such a small piece of fabric they felt like they were drawing their own gravitational pull in the room, had their own centre of gravity. There was a little heart charm on them, sitting in the middle front hem as a decoration.

    "No," Ilya answered steadily, and when Shane looked back up his eyes were still locked on him.

    "Then what is it?" Shane asked, touching the fabric again and dragging them a little to the side, like maybe they were hiding something that would make him understand.

    "A present. For you," Ilya explained, in that bored tone like he'd said it all before. Which technically he had, but it didn't make Shane understand it any better.

    Shane must have looked even more confused, because Ilya tutted and spoke up again.

    "To wear, Shane, you have heard of underwear, yes?"

    or the one where ilya buys his fwb, totally casual situationship shane a pair of panties to try

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    12 Jan 2026

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

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    06 Jan 2026

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

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    06 Jan 2026