crayonwaxeater
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They Call Him The Minuteman by SamTheMinutemansSlut
Fandoms: University of Massachusetts Amherst - Fandom
27 Mar 2023
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Summary
Sam the Minuteman has sex... but Swammy comes crawling in, begging Sam to take him back.
"Sam the Minuteman stood outside my door, gazing longingly at me. “Sam… we can’t…” I whispered, barely able to eschew his tempestuous groin. But his hefty penis overpowered all my inhibitions once more. I threw open the door and Sam thrust his phallus into me, gyrating to the beat of the UMass fight song. His penis plunged into my asshole, cascading school spirit throughout my asshole. “Go! Go U! Go UMass! Go Umass!” He chanted, deep baritone voice purring lasciviously. I was incapacitated with ecstasy. It didn’t matter if I failed my midterm, as long as Sam’s tremendous testicles tickled my backside. "
Bookmarked by crayonwaxeater
19 Aug 2025
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Warning: Do you want to send this message without a subject? by fivesumbrella
Fandoms: Psych (TV 2006)
04 Oct 2025
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Summary
Juliet kept her voice steady as she read. “Dear Shawn. Even when you were just a kid in over his head, you caused trouble. Try not to get arrested again. Follow my instruction or I’ll hang you up in my attic, slice your throat, and watch the blood pour down your pathetic, wriggling, dying form as you try to cry and beg for forgiveness without your vocal cords.”
Lassiter crossed his arms and looked at the screen again. “That definitely seems personal.”
Shawn leaned closer to Gus and whispered, “He’s right, you wrote it weirdly personal. Very detailed.”
“The real email was weirdly personal!” Gus whisper-shouted back. “Besides, you gave the idea of the easter ham, I just fleshed it out. You know I was in AP lit!”
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Shawn gets an email threatening to expose his secret unless he stops investigating their brand-new murder case. The email contains private details about Shawn’s past, leaving the squad with no choice but to dive into his personal life before he became a psychic detective. He's determined to find the killer before the truth gets out but he may not be able to avoid getting hurt in the process. One way or another.Bookmarked by crayonwaxeater
11 Jul 2025
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Summary
Now that Juliet knows Shawn's secret, she tells him she needs space. Unsure of what to do, Shawn decides to find some space for himself. But when Shawn stumbles into trouble and ends up missing, will his friends figure out he's in real trouble before it's too late?
(this story was completely revised in 2024!!)
Series
- Part 1 of Space
Bookmarked by crayonwaxeater
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
Shawn lied. He knows he should have come clean to Juliet years ago about not actually being a psychic, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Telling the truth has begun to feel a lot more like lying. Gus, however, has a theory. What if Shawn has been a psychic all along and just didn't know it? And what happens when challengers come to test his abilities?
Series
- Part 1 of Real Psychic Shawn Spencer
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 240,141
- Chapters:
- 41/41
- Comments:
- 302
- Kudos:
- 423
- Bookmarks:
- 105
- Hits:
- 15,046
Bookmarked by crayonwaxeater
16 Jun 2025
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The mortifiying ordeal of forgetting you're not actually dating your roommate by Quine
Fandoms: House M.D.
25 Jul 2025
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Summary
He’s sharing a condo. With House.
And as a man in his forties, employed as the head of the oncology department, James should easily be able to afford an apartment on his own.
Yet he lives with House, who is also a doctor and department head, respectively, and likely also gets paid the salary of a person leading a department. Meaning he could also comfortably live on his own.
Which would indicate that they chose to live together.
But there’s really no reason at all for James to live with another person, unless…
Unless he’s in a relationship with said person.
Or: James Wilson wakes up in the hospital, thinking he's happily married to Sam in the year 1990, only to learn that he is suffering from retrograde amnesia.
Turns out it's 2010, he's divorced thrice over and shares a condo with a man.
What follows is a sexuality crisis of epic proportions, Wilson trying to deal with sharing his space with House and coming to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe, he's is in love with the obnoxious, grizzly man.
And then his memories return.
James Wilson is utterly fucked.
(All credit for the starting premise goes to The Tap Dancing Doctor by PrikintheTurdis)
Bookmarked by crayonwaxeater
14 Jun 2025