crispy_croissant
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Recent works
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Jesus Fucking Christ by crispy_croissant
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
04 Mar 2024
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Summary
Harry's been around much longer than a normal human. Unfortunately, that means making connections that sometimes you just can't break, no matter how hard you try.
When one of Harry's old connections contacts him in need of help, Harry's forced to go to their aid.
Sadly, when he gets there, he has to deal a lot more than he signed up for.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight, they belong to their rightful owners.
Ahloura, because I know you're likely to see this summary, I'm telling you this is an absolute shitshow that I will burn at a later date.
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This Is Not What I Signed Up For by crispy_croissant
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Jan 2023
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Harry Potter finally goes to Hogwarts after three years of hard work. He's expected to become magically and politically powerful by his aunt for some kind of plan she's come up with. Harry's also trying his best to not fuck everything up. Harry expects this to be a very difficult task to complete in one way or another. What he didn't expect was to be outcasted by almost the entire school when he's sorted into Slytherin. His Potions professor seems to hate him. The Headmaster is watching his every move. Draco Malfoy wants to skin him alive for some reason. Ronald Weasley hates every atom in his body. There might be someone trying to kill him in his common room. His Defense Against the Dark Arts professor seems sketchy. Oh, and there's the Philosopher's Stone that for some reason Harry needs to save.
If you want background information and a quick, ten thousand word run down of how Harry basically is the way he is now, check the first work of the series. Chapters here will be a decent size and they'll involve more detail.
ABANDONED: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
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Harry Potter, His Twin, and the Philosopher's Stone by crispy_croissant
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Jan 2023
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Summary
Harry Potter grew up as a normal boy.
Oh, how he wished he could've said that. No, instead, Harry grew up discarded in his own household, having only his twin brother, Alexander, to care for him. It sure as hell didn't help that Alexander was known across Magical Britain for being the Boy-Who-Lived.
The twins were close, of course. Neither remembered what occurred the night Alexander had been declared the Saviour, all they knew is that they were together and there was a bright green light.
Now, after a godforsaken "family reunion" with the Dursley's, Harry and Alexander were sent to Hogwarts with a new goal of trying to stand out as least as possible.
One could hope, right?
IMPORTANT NOTEI highly recommend if you read this that you will read the first chapters beginning notes, as it explains quite a bit.
ABANDONED: READ YOUR OWN RISK
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Original work: "Petunia's Apprentice" by alicecrow6
I was impatient and I couldn't wait for an update any longer. I've changed the plot and added more detail to it. I'm not trying to copy, this is merely a rewrite. The original plot and idea belong to alicecrow6. The plan — there isn't one and I'll probably get writer's block at one point or another and have to put this on hiatus like my other work. I apologize ahead of time.Petunia Dursley wasn't Lily Potter. She wasn't outwardly fierce, she didn't have Lily's looks or her smarts. What Petunia did have was cleverness. Her level of fierceness rivalled that of her late sister's. The amount of wisdom she carried wasn't seen unless shown to the keen eye.
However, with all her great skills, Petunia lacked anyone to share them with. Little Dudley already didn't qualify. Vernon had spoiled that opportunity early on in his life and there was no way to fix a lost cause. Petunia needed someone who was just as clever as she. Someone who could have the capability of reading Petunia herself. Someone who had a keen eye and noticed things others didn't. Petunia needed someone akin to her.
Recent bookmarks
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Harry Potter and the Unsolicited Mate Bond by Hocus_pocus
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
09 Oct 2025
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Summary
After Prom, as Bella chooses to stay with Edward inspite of the warning sent through Jacob, Billy Black grows increasingly concerned, writes a letter to a wizard he met once in the '70s—a bloke named Sirius Black with a motorcycle, a bad attitude, and a theory about ancient family magic. He wasn't sure he would even get a reply. Especially not from a magical, immortal, emotionally unavailable godson.
When the letter meant for Sirius ends up at the dusty doorstep of Grimmauld Place, Harry—traumatized, retired, and very much done with wizard drama—decides to answer . He heads to Forks, Washington to do a favour for Sirius's long lost relative: keep an eye on some girl dating a vampire.
What he doesn’t expect is for one dangerously intense vampire named Jasper Hale to takes one look at Harry and short-circuit.
Congrats, Harry. You’ve just been mate-bonded to a vampire. Damn his Potter luck.
Series
- Part 1 of Till Death Do Us Part
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,634
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,076
- Kudos:
- 3,897
- Bookmarks:
- 1,412
- Hits:
- 101,502
Bookmarked by crispy_croissant
17 Nov 2025
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If you're gonna go changing things anyway, better do it from when it truly started.
Or well... from as close to that as you can get.(Yes. It is another time-travel fic. Hopefully at least somewhat unique though)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,561
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 387
- Kudos:
- 8,388
- Bookmarks:
- 1,900
- Hits:
- 103,596
Bookmarked by crispy_croissant
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
Draco shifts his head as he turns to look at Scorpius, his cheek touching the pillow. "Did you know that…" He pauses, his throat convulsing, and it sounds audible in the silence, besides Michael's steady, even breathing from the other bedroom.
Scorpius is staring back at him, in wait of something new to learn, a beautiful and intelligent child. He has Draco's mind. He has Draco's eyes and nose and mouth and hair. He is his. All his. All he has of Michael are his wild curls and the green of his eyes, and sometimes he looks into them and imagines that they aren't Michael's, but someone else's.
Draco leans his head closer, biting the quiver out of his lips before he breathes a laden and shuddering exhale, and he whispers, "You are my star in a big black sky."
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Extras fic:
Full of Millions of Stars- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,315
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 36
- Comments:
- 2,135
- Kudos:
- 24,259
- Bookmarks:
- 7,290
- Hits:
- 492,964
Bookmarked by crispy_croissant
09 Nov 2025
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Re-make of s06e16: Coda, where the team pays a little more attention to Reid and fully appreciate the power of his unique connection to Sammy Sparks.
Bookmarked by crispy_croissant
08 Nov 2025
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Summary
When he's little, Harry discovers something Very Special: he can make his wishes come true. Literally.
In which a young boy discovers a way to slide under the radar and the profound consequences that follow. What happens when you've taught yourself to become untouchable?
Rated M for a lack of moral conscience, the occasional murder, and a graphic dark theme here and there (because why not?). Happily Ever After, Voldemort style.
Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available 触不可及 by the wonderful Entropy843
Translation into Polski available Nietykalny by the lovely Zikonest
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 74,840
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 89
- Comments:
- 2,017
- Kudos:
- 27,351
- Bookmarks:
- 8,303
- Hits:
- 464,798
Bookmarked by crispy_croissant
06 Nov 2025