elizardbits

fat cake baby



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    In nearly every way (except the most notable), the Princess of Hyrule was the Goddess incarnate. For that reason alone, it was a little ingenious for the King to offer up his daughter’s hand to whoever was able to pull the sword.

    Link hadn’t meant to pull the sword. He planned to watch as his comrades pulled with all their might, perhaps even tease a few about how it was all for the better that the sword didn’t budge, because surely no Princess could ever love their ugly mugs, and then get into a good old-fashioned wrestling match with their bruised egos after one too many jokes. But it hadn’t mattered what he had in mind; Link’s plans be damned. The Goddess had already plucked him out of obscurity and set him along Her own path.

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    17 Oct 2025

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    Ganon, king of the Gerudo, has a knack for always getting what he wants, even if he has to wait for it. So when he meets the Hylian Champion and is immediately smitten, he knows it's only a matter of time before he finds a way to crack Link's perfect, unshakable composure.

    He's prepared to wait as long as it takes to make Link his, but it quickly becomes apparent that Link is much more than he bargained for. 

    The slightest slip of that mask would be enough for a first step, even just a small furrow of his brow—or better yet, an interested upturn at the corner of that lovely mouth… It may take several days of concentrated effort just to hear his voice if what Zelda has said of him is accurate, but Ganon is here for at least a month. And despite Urbosa’s earlier suggestion that he could learn to be more patient, he’s already mentally preparing himself for a long, careful pursuit. The wait will only make it that much sweeter once Link is finally his, however many days or weeks it takes. And, after all, he does so love a challenge.

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    12 Oct 2025

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    11 Oct 2025

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    “We never discussed ground rules,” Zelda said matter-of-factly. “And we really should have.”

    Link didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

    “Obviously, no one can know it’s a ruse,” Zelda said. “If anyone finds out, my father will call off his blessing, and both of us will be back to square one.”

    Link nodded.

    Zelda suddenly felt too warm, and she decided to shuffle over to her desk, which was a good distance from Link, and dig around for a piece of paper and a quill. “It’ll be good for us to write it out,” she said, more for herself than for Link, who sat on the other side of her desk expectantly.

    Why did he look like he was waiting to get marching orders? Like he might have been almost eager for it?

    She focused on writing out the first rule. “Rule number one, no one can know.” She penned the words carefully. “We have to look genuinely head over heels for each other.”

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    06 Oct 2025

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    Zelda discovers that her hated personal guard has a secret stash of trashy romance novels. She reads all of them. And then things get awkward.

    Are they enemies with benefits, or best friends to lovers? These two are so out of touch that it's hard to tell.

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    05 Oct 2025

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