hailsatanacab
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close enough to be whole again by hailsatanacab
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types
29 Dec 2025
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“If you ever find yourself in danger, go to Bruce Wayne. He will help you.”
His mother had loved him, in her own way. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have helped him escape. If she hadn’t, she would have dragged him back to the League of Assassins, to Grandfather. If she hadn’t, he’d be dead.
She loved him, but she loved the League more.
Jack and Maddie Fenton loved him too, they did, but they loved their work more.
They loved their work more.
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After his parents react poorly to his reveal, Danny escapes to the only person he thinks can help him - Bruce Wayne. He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there, but it has to be better than where he is, surely? He certainly doesn't expect to be reunited with his long lost twin brother Damian. It's funny how things work out that way.
Danny is 16 years old, not Phantom Planet compliant
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Contractual Obligations by hailsatanacab
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types
13 Nov 2024
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Summary
It’s a normal day for Alfred Pennyworth. He spends it taking care of the manor and watching over its inhabitants, just as he does every other day. It’s an exhausting, never-ending task, that he wouldn’t change for the world.
But that night, he is confronted by a stranger in his rooms with a copy of every single soul-binding contract he’s signed for the protection of his family.
The new Ghost King wants to update his terms and conditions.
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Things have not been going well for Danny Fenton.
Not only did he fail in intercepting Lancer’s call home, so now Mom and Dad know about his latest grades—he didn’t even get enough answers for an F this time, not when he fell asleep within the first five minutes—but they also caught Jazz taking the trash out for him.
What sucks even more is that now, with what little free time he has, he’s cleaning the lab. It’s just not fair!
His dad's tinkering away at the workbench, too, so here comes some quality time with his old man. Great.
My holiday truce gift for @dashing-through-ecto!! I was your gifter this year, I hope you enjoy the fic! Based on your prompt: "Do you need any help, Dad?"
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“You’re not the birdy I’m looking for.” The man’s grin fades as he takes in the scene, slumping out of his triumphant stance with a disgruntled moan.
“I’m sorry, Duke, I’m gonna have to call you back. A clown just kicked my door down. For some reason,” Danny says into his phone, before hanging up and dropping it onto the counter next to him, despite Duke’s protests. He’s starting to get the impression that this isn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was. He turns his attention towards the clown. “And you’re not the pizza delivery boy. Or, at least, I hope you’re not. Won’t be ordering from them again if you are.”When Danny finds a box just outside of his brand new Gotham apartment, he thinks nothing of it... until he opens it up to find a crushed taxidermy bird inside and a weird note signed only by a J. And then his door is kicked in by a clown. Why can't his life ever be simple?
Series
- Part 1 of the mail
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The Problem with Portals by hailsatanacab
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types
30 Jan 2023
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Okay, so Danny’s first attempt at a portal isn’t what one would call a success.
Unfortunately, instead of opening into a relatively safe (if incredibly underwhelming) cave, it splits a hole right into a great ocean of ectoplasm in the Ghost Zone, which promptly begins to flood the space around them.
It’s up to their ankles in seconds as gallons of foaming green water surge through the opening, with a thundering roar like waves crashing upon the shore.
“Uh…” Both he and Wulf just stare, watching with wide eyes as the day just gets worse and worse.
“Wulf!” Knocking himself out of his trance, Danny turns towards him and flaps his arms in panic. Oh, shit! This isn’t good! There’s no way this amount of ectoplasm in the material world is healthy, he’s going to be in so much trouble! What the hell are they meant to do? “Help!”
Originally written for dpxdc week 2022 for the prompt "Wulf teaches Danny how to open portals. It does not go to plan."
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almost (sweet music) by hailsatanacab
Fandom 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
08 May 2021
- Words:
- 5,394
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 18
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[S] Hunger: Get dunked on. by enigmaticEditor
Fandoms: Homestuck, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
15 Aug 2018
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Seven morons in a boat run into a giant amphibian and get to know its inhabitants.
Bookmarked by hailsatanacab
08 Sep 2024
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You talk like a man and taste like the sun by killeleanor for hailsatanacab
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
30 Dec 2021
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Oh Wei Ying. He had never seen anything the colour of the fire in that boy’s eyes, a golden glowing aura that stood him out from everyone else, even when they were all dressed the same.
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Lan Wangji reflects on his love for Wei Wuxian.
Bookmarked by hailsatanacab
30 Dec 2021
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AN IDIOT'S GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE by tagteamme
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
13 Dec 2020
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In order to pay off a debt that's not his, Shang Qinghua agrees to marry a man that's as cold and unyielding as he is stupidly rich.
“Marriage?” His voice breaks over the word like it’s a curse. “Really? Doesn’t it feel a bit irrational?”
“Are you planning to pay off an eight-figure debt with this job and a host job?” Mobei Jun asks, and Shang Qinghua almost wants to throttle him. Though, if his wallet didn’t have a direct funnel to his dad’s bank account, Shang Qinghua might actually have been a little comfortable.
“That’s not what I meant!” Shang Qinghua huffs, his head still spinning. As far as being a married man goes, Shang Qinghua is nowhere near ready.
“What?” Mobei Jun raises a single eyebrow. “Were you looking to marry for love?”
- Language:
- English
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- 156,682
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- 8/8
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- 2,134
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Bookmarked by hailsatanacab
18 Nov 2020
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so you have a bad day by tagteamme
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
19 Apr 2020
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Shang Qinghua is not stupid.
It does not take a genius to know what it means when you ask a servant where your lord has left to and they readily supply the name of an exclusive brothel in between the two realms. Especially when it's after your utterly disastrous first time together.
So he goes away for a bit to clear his head. And promptly gets kidnapped.
- Language:
- English
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- 30,999
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by hailsatanacab
17 Nov 2020
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Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge by Fiver
Fandoms: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables (2012), Supernatural
24 Nov 2025
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Summary
"Let me come with you. It's not smart to go around fighting monsters on your own."
"Almost all hunters work alone."
"Doesn't make it any smarter."
In which Enjolras is going to save the innocent masses from the things that go bump in the night, and Grantaire is definitely either a lot more or a lot less than he appears. Neither of them can quite decide which it is.
Series
- Part 1 of Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge
- Language:
- English
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- 249,887
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- 26/?
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- 2,979
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Bookmarked by hailsatanacab
20 Dec 2019