happyhourly
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the misfortune of knowing anything by a_alene for little_boats_on_a_lake
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
24 Jun 2023
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Summary
“My name is Jason Todd,” he starts, mournfully. He can save the alias for later. “I was kidnapped by Bruce Wayne, who is actually Batman, and he wants to eat me. I need your help to escape back home and start a new life.”
***
Jason has dragged Tim Drake into his attempt to run away. Batman wants it to be known that he does not eat children. This is what you get for hoarding orphans, Bruce.
Bookmarked by happyhourly
26 Nov 2025
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After he had taken Cass in, Tim had sat him down very seriously and walked him through an exhaustive powerpoint detailing Bruce’s “adoption addiction," as well as numerous graphs theorizing that Bruce’s rate of child acquirement was, in fact, exponential and increasing by the day.
“Within a year,” Tim had said gravely. “You could be adopting a child each month.”
At the time, Bruce had brushed it off. But now he wonders if there isn’t some truth to it.
***
An average morning in the life of Bruce Wayne, single father to approximately six children.
Bookmarked by happyhourly
26 Nov 2025
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Unknown number has sent 1 image, the banner reads. That’s right. The Replacement had said he was into photography or something. Another buzz comes in as Jason is double checking the daggers shoved into his boots. And then another. And another. It’s incessant. With a huff, Jason opens the phone back up to idly stroll through the stream of Dick’s inconsistently punctuated texts.
Tim what is this
Where are you
You said you had homework??????
Hello????
Well, he seems a little distressed.
Jason scrolls back up to the top of the chat, ignoring Dick’s incoming messages to take a closer look at the inciting image. It’s blurry and dark. Jason has to hold the phone ridiculously close to his face just to make it out. A green-gloved hand gives a thumbs-up over a piece of wet pavement. Jason squints closer. It’s not just wet. It’s a deep, slick red.
Cool. Whose blood is that? Jason asks. Dick’s response is immediate: NOT HELPING JAY.
***
Jason, Dick, and Tim learn about communication.
Bookmarked by happyhourly
26 Nov 2025
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Fifteen girls. One Tim. A decision that Jason could’ve made in seconds not very long ago.
[Red Hood and Tim are kidnapped by a trafficker who wants his girls back, and he has no reservations about going through the closest available child to get to Hood.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,935
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 171
- Kudos:
- 6,425
- Bookmarks:
- 1,242
- Hits:
- 40,777
Bookmarked by happyhourly
26 Nov 2025
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Visiting Hours by milkimae
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Robin (Comics), Batman (Comics)
02 Feb 2025
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Summary
By fourteen years old, Tim had grown used to waking up alone in a hospital bed.
But waking up to the Batman, in all his brooding glory, looming over his bedside? That was entirely new.
A very sick Tim Drake is stuck alone in the hospital, feverish and barely lucid. Though policy dictates only family can visit, there's an abundance of vigilante's more than willing to slip in through the window.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,378
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 864
- Bookmarks:
- 132
- Hits:
- 5,674
Bookmarked by happyhourly
24 Nov 2025