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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    A few months after Ilya joins the Centaurs, his apartment gets a gas leak. It's a perfectly inconvenient time to be out of housing, but luckily, Yuna and David come to the rescue. Now, Ilya just has to survive a week living with in-laws that may or may not hate his guts.

    As it turns out, his expectations could not have been more subverted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    640
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    10 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    [Tweet] @roz81: My son has turned into iPad baby. How do I stop this? Somebody give me phone number of Apple. Tell them to destroy iPads

    [Tweet] @HerezPilton: Breaking News! confirmation of multiple illegitimate children from Ilya Rozanov. Go to the link in bio for full article!

    or, Ilya is an online menace much to everyone's dismay

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,840
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    365
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    17,043
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    10 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “No, Ilya, stay.” The last word came out as a whine.

    “Why is he calling you Ilya?” Pike asked.

    "Why is he asking you to stay?” Hollander’s mom followed.

    Ilya shrugged. “How would I know?”

    Hollander lifted his arm out, as if reaching for Ilya. “Because I want him to stay.” It was said in a tone that seemed to say, 'obviously'.

    “Shane,” Hollander’s dad started. “Um- what’s going on? I thought we hated Rozanov.” He seemed to realise what he’d said and glanced at Ilya. “Sorry.”

    “Is fine.”

    "No, I don't hate him. I love him."

    Cliff's jaw was firmly hanging open, and he didn't think it was going to move anytime today. He felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach, all the air ripped away from his lungs.

    "Am I dreaming?" Cliff muttered to himself.

    Pike let out a strained laugh. "I think someone spiked my coffee this morning."

    (cliff, ilya, hayden & shane's parents visit shane in hospital after the incident. a very drugged up shane cannot hide his feelings for ilya)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,628
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    12
    Comments:
    608
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    25,004
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    3,192
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    09 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Max stands, pacing again, and says, “I mean, what do I do? I can’t tell them I know now. It’s way too late for that.”

    “It’s really okay,” Troy says far too optimistically. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

    “Yeah, you can say that because you're not the one who heard Ilya tell Shane he misses his slutty little mouth."

    Or: The Centaurs' newest rookie speaks Russian. It's too bad that Shane and Ilya don't know that.

    Read in Russian here!

    Language:
    English
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    4,506
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    1/1
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    800
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    08 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.

    It's a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,868
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    556
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    08 Mar 2026