itsnotimportantanyway
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“Iwaizumi Hajime,” Santiago sounds out. Those damn telescope eyes. “Huh. I thought his name was Iwachan?”
“Is it the wrong guy?” Mateo narrows his eyes. “No, that’s definitely him, that’s the dude from Tooru’s homescreen… is it?”
“Only one way to find out!” Santiago says cheerfully.
Team Argentina gets to know Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer.
Series
- Part 3 of instructions on not giving up
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,217
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 657
- Kudos:
- 9,146
- Bookmarks:
- 1,850
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- 82,591
Bookmarked by itsnotimportantanyway
05 Oct 2026
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Fucked senseless.
That's what Childe had promised to Zhongli in the heat of the night, still sheltered under the awnings of the port city. The lanterns had shone bright, and Childe felt daring.
Days later, Childe comes to the realization that maybe… maybe that was a bit too much for their first time. He can’t believe he finally gets the ex-archon into bed with him, and he manages to have the oldest living being in Teyvat crying for his dick. Sheesh. Stroke a guy’s ego, much?
But ever since that night, it’s been radio silence.
Days turn to weeks, and although Childe knows they are not joined at the hip, despite what a certain traveler may assume, he cannot help but worry.
...
OR, Zhongli pretends to be sick to hide the fact that Childe managed to knock him up the one time they slept together.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,565
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 70
- Kudos:
- 4,546
- Bookmarks:
- 589
- Hits:
- 91,358
Bookmarked by itsnotimportantanyway
30 Sep 2026
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“If you want to adopt, that is a perfectly valid option, but I would be remiss to not inform you of… other options.”
“Other options?” Ajax repeats, maybe just a bit lost.
“Well, as you are aware. I am the Prime Adeptus. My true form has been lost over time, even to me, but certain attributes remain, including my methods of reproduction.”
It clicks. Ajax’s mouth goes slack. “You mean you can–?”
“Lay eggs, yes.” Zhongli finishes for him with a polite cough.
Series
- Part 2 of smutshots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,541
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 33
- Kudos:
- 852
- Bookmarks:
- 154
- Hits:
- 14,280
Bookmarked by itsnotimportantanyway
30 Sep 2026
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Illumi blinked, once, twice. He stayed silent for a moment more, his face looking more frustrated by the second, “My father got married around my age, I believe I should too.”
Hisoka tilted his head, his grin only growing wider. While the thought of Illumi marrying anyone was laughable, he couldn’t deny that the idea made sense. Getting married would likely please his family, and Illumi lived to please.
Illumi was a beautiful thing, not to mention dangerous, he really was an angel of death. Based on looks alone, Illumi would likely have suitors lined up. However, to put it simply, Illumi was perhaps too broken. Easy for Hisoka to love, but not many people would hold the same sentiment. Hisoka wasn’t even sure if Illumi’s family truly loved him, though he’d never tell Illumi that— it’d only break him more, and Hisoka didn’t think Illumi could handle that.
Or: Hisoka and Illumi get engaged, meet the family, and then bang (in that order).
Bookmarked by itsnotimportantanyway
31 Aug 2026
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Summary
It seemed that, even at five-years-old, this Illumi was already too old to be saved. A shame, but Hisoka had been prepared for such a possibility.
In short: Hisoka finds a nen user able to temporarily turn people back into children, and, really, how could he resist?
Bookmarked by itsnotimportantanyway
30 Aug 2026