josephmanofwar



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  1. Rec *

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    Ilya opened one of his messages.

    Have you seen the news?
    Ilya, call me. Now.
    Please tell me you already fucking know.
    Jesus Christ, man.

    That was it. No context. No explanation. Just panic wrapped in vague bullshit.

    His jaw locked. “Are you fucking serious right now,” he muttered, thumb scrolling harder than necessary. Say it or don’t, you assholes. The half-answers made his skin crawl. It felt like they were all circling something awful, whispering around it, waiting for him to step close enough to get hit.

    His chest felt tight now, pressure building, so he did the one thing that made sense. He opened social media.

    Shane Hollander’s name was everywhere.

    Or

    Shane was hurt in ways everyone could see, and in ways only Ilya would carry.

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    19 Jan 2026

  2. Rec *

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    “It is the worst day of my life,” Ilya declares, throwing himself dramatically onto one of the kitchen stools. “I went to go get lunch at Russian place I like, the one with lamb pelmeni? They had sign on the door. They are closing. Forever.”

    -

    Or: Ilya’s favorite Russian restaurant in Ottawa is going out of business. There is only one thing Shane “Mr. Real Estate” Hollander can do.

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    19 Jan 2026

  3. Rec *

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    The room went quiet for exactly three seconds before it erupted.

    "Holy shit, Rozanov has a date!"

    "Who is she?"

    "How long has this been going on?"

    "Is she hot?"

    Ilya let them speculate, keeping his expression carefully neutral as he finished changing. This was the game he'd gotten good at over the past year: deflecting without lying, misdirecting without being obvious about it. His teammates were good guys, but they didn't need to know. Couldn't know.

    Nobody could know that Ilya Rozanov's Valentine's Day plans involved Shane Hollander.

    Or, Hollanov are still a secret, Shane is making an exception on his diet, and Ilya has something to celebrate.

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    19 Jan 2026

  4. Rec 70

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    Shane felt a rushing in his ears as everything in him dropped. Ilya was hurt.

    The world tilted, lurched sideways, and he grabbed onto the sink for balance as his phone went clattering to the tiled floor.

    He couldn’t breathe. Something vice-like had clamped around his lungs and was compressing the air out of his body, closing up his throat. Someone somewhere was gasping, an ugly wet and rattling kind of sound that echoed in the high-ceiling room.

    OR
    Ilya gets jumped outside the ep. 4 nightclub and Shane is Ilya's emergency contact. He doesn't handle it well. They both have a lot of feelings.

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    18 Jan 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Shane stared, horrified. “Stop making jokes! This is not funny! They think—they think I HAVE BOTTOM EYES!”

    Ilya sat up, eyes gleaming. “They are correct.”

    “Ilya.”

    “Mmm. What is it they said? Best bottom eyes? I agree.”

    Shane wanted the floor to open up. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?”

    “It means when you look up at me with pupils blown and lips swollen, is impossible not to fuck you stupid.”

    A betting pool starts in the locker room about who in the league is the 'wildest' in bed. To everyone's shock, league Golden Boy Shane Hollander wins by a landslide. Shane is mortified. Ilya is profoundly smug. Naturally, Ilya decides the best course of action is to make it a challenge. “You gotta prove them right, malysh. Can’t leave them disappointed, can we?”

    Series
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    18 Jan 2026