julesaint
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Agatha’s only human, and her eyes start to rake without her consciously realizing it. Hot Butch is pretty much a walking cliché, but is somehow making it work for them. Dark green cargo pants, big stompy boots. Green carabiner hanging from their right belt loop, jingling cheerfully against what looks like a big roll of tape in their pocket. Stupidly saturated blue polo with the Lowe’s Home Improvement logo on the sleeve.
Hot Butch angles her face in a way that Agatha can see it, and suddenly she’s frothing at the mouth even more than she was before. Round cheeks, big almond puppy-dog eyes, a nose with a slope Agatha can only describe as bitable. Hot Butch frowns vaguely and itches at a spot on their thigh; they then check their chunky analog watch and tap their foot as if the elderly man ordering a gyro in front of them is the most annoying thing they’ve encountered all day. Every inch of motion they make feels like it hits Agatha right between the thighs.
She can’t tear her eyes away. She’s so entranced that she drops half her pretzel on the ground.
or: self-identified mall rat agatha harkness moves home after college and meets her match (or her soulmate, whatever) at the food court
Bookmarked by julesaint
23 Oct 2025
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No, Agatha Harkness was hip to the youth. She redownloaded Tinder, chose her five MILFiest photos - little black dress, lululemon with the pantyline, paint and sip from several years ago, little black dress again (same event, different angle), obviously face-tuned selfie - and set her bio to ‘MY HUSBAND IS DEAD. I don't want to remarry. I only want SEX!’
Then slid down the couch, neck bent at a weird angle, and scrolled listlessly - maybe, maybe, sure, eh, no, unless…?, sure, maybe - until she hit Rio, 26; stop asking me to top it doesnt work anymore
title is from 'free at last' by PUP
Bookmarked by julesaint
21 Sep 2025
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I Wanna Be Yours///You're All I Want by rioallalong_719 for spreadingmylegsforlexa
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
12 Sep 2025
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And Gods, did Agatha wish that night Rio had proposed instead of Alice.
She shook out of her jealousy, tilting her head, “Rio, we aren’t going to the bar. Don’t you remember Alice ordering us to dress up for the club?”
Rio mimicked the tilt of her head, “Club?”
She held back annoyed huff, but even then her annoyance was replaced with concern. How could Rio forget? Alice was her best friend.
Agatha reached up, the back of her hand grazing her girlfriend’s forehead, “Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?”
Rio batted her hands away like an annoyed child.
“The strip club, Alice told us her bachelorette is at the strip club.”OR
They go to a strip club, Agatha's plan backfires, but then doesn't and she gets railed.
OR
POSSESSIVE RIO MY LOVE
Bookmarked by julesaint
02 Sep 2025
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All things considered, Agatha’s sex life had been pretty bleak since her last real relationship turned sour.
Which is how she found herself creating a new AOL account. And joining a local bdsm chat room. And writing very explicit directions in her away message.
AIM AWAY MESSAGE: Dyke seeking EXPERIENCED shibari play partner. If you’re strapping and know how to tie, introduce yourself for a compatibility quiz.
= = =
Late 90s strangers-to-lovers fic where Agatha meets Rio at a dive bar after connecting in an AOL chat room.
Series
- Part 1 of Shatter Your Illusions Universe
Bookmarked by julesaint
31 Aug 2025
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no grave can hold my body down (i’ll crawl home to her) by agatharioluvr
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
06 Feb 2025
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“There was a collision on the highway, due to the stormy weather conditions.” The doctor explained, her voice careful. “Your son and his mother, Rio, were involved. Your son is stable, but shaken. Ms. Vidal sustained critical injuries and is in surgery. You should come as soon as possible.”
Her breath hitched. Her pulse roared in her ears. Her hands shook.
“No.” She whispered, to herself more than Dr Robbins. It didn’t make sense. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening again.
But the doctor kept talking, giving her more details, repeating herself when she didn’t respond.
And then-
“Momma!”
She sucked in a hiss of a breath at the sound of Nicky’s voice in the background — high, panicked, crying.
“I need my Momma, please! Is she-”
“I’ll be right there.” She blurted out, barely recognizing her own voice.
OR, Agatha gets a call that her ex-wife, Rio, and son, Nicky, were in a car accident. Except, two years prior, the exact same situation caused the two to divorce.
Bookmarked by julesaint
22 Aug 2025