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Fuck, Marry, Kill (or, how Usopp becomes the best matchmaker of the sea without really trying) by adietxt
Fandoms: One Piece
14 Oct 2018
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Summary
Everyone wants to marry Zoro. Hypothetically. Sanji can’t believe everyone would pick that useless patch of growing mold over him, and considers killing Zoro. Not hypothetically.
He has a list on why Zoro would be the Worst Husband Ever, not that he spends a lot of time thinking of a (purely hypothetical!) situation where he is married to Zoro, fuck you very much.
(a.k.a, the one where Usopp invented Fuck, Marry, Kill.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,836
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 290
- Kudos:
- 19,204
- Bookmarks:
- 2,709
- Hits:
- 112,531
Bookmarked by june7012
07 Jan 2026
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His eyes flicker towards the more discernible scars, the deep ones with smooth taut skin. The ones his hands have traced hundreds of times.
Then Sanji spots the fresh, poorly stitched wound dancing across Zoro’s flank. The shoddy quality screams Mosshead.
“Moron.” Sanji crumples his cigarette and flattens it underfoot in one smooth motion. “Idiot. You stupid, reckless swordsman. Stay here, I’ll get Chopper.”
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The crew is a wreck after Enies' Lobby. Despite being a wreck himself, Sanji tries to take care of them all.
Bookmarked by june7012
07 Jan 2026
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Tweet from @mosshead on Dec 2, 2022 at 8:14am: Sanji and I are no longer dating
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,093
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 2,359
- Bookmarks:
- 253
- Hits:
- 13,957
Bookmarked by june7012
07 Jan 2026
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The one where Zoro scowls at everyone who gets too close to Sanji, and Sanji unconsciously lets him.
Bookmarked by june7012
07 Jan 2026
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“You can’t be serious.”
Franky’s grin only widens.
“I’m super one hundred percent serious, bro.”
In the aftermath of a fight with Sanji, Zoro comes to Franky for advice.
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Jan 2026
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Summary
zoro watches sanji hand out treats to everyone but him.
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Jan 2026
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“Why’d you choose tonight to play blackjack?”
“I think you know why.”
“Fine,” Sanji flushed, “Why did you choose tonight to come talk to me?”
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Casino dealer Sanji takes a chance on professional gambler Zoro.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,376
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 146
- Kudos:
- 2,981
- Bookmarks:
- 520
- Hits:
- 28,538
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Jan 2026
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sure as the stars in the sky by Harubo for three_days_late
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
14 Jul 2023
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Summary
“Mosshead, is that you?”
Zoro opens the door all the way and walks into the chambers of his friend Sanji, a knight in his father’s guard.
“Prince Mosshead to you,” Zoro grumbles. He flops down on a chair and reaches for one of the daggers sitting on the table that Sanji is polishing. Sanji slaps his hand away. “Those are for the squires. Don’t play with them.”
“I could have you arrested for that,” Zoro glares, rubbing his hand.
“But you won’t, will you, your very royal mossiness?” Sanji grins.
Series
- Part 3 of Zoro and His Four Sisters
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Jan 2026
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Summary
“How can I help them?” Zoro cried, letting Kuina wrap him into a tight hug as they watched the path of the bruises marching along Zoro's skin.
“Write something to them, write something to show them they’re not alone,” Kuina said. Without thinking, without planning, Zoro grabbed a pen and scrawled out on his arm: “I am your soulmate. I am here. You are not alone. I’m going to help you.”
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Soulmate AU where marks on skin are placed on the soulmate's as well.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,396
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 148
- Kudos:
- 9,019
- Bookmarks:
- 1,210
- Hits:
- 43,309
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Jan 2026
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Everyone knows Zoro has the perfect boyfriend—tall, blonde, and handsome. He cooks Zoro’s bento every day, fights as well as Zoro does, and has the clearest, bluest eyes mankind has ever seen.
Everyone also knows this “boyfriend” doesn’t actually exist.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,662
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 255
- Kudos:
- 20,028
- Bookmarks:
- 2,880
- Hits:
- 112,639
Bookmarked by june7012
04 Jan 2026
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Oh, I just can't get you out of my head by Wonderjam
Fandoms: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (Manga), 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | 30-sai Made Doutei da to Mahou Tsukai ni Nareru Rashii (TV)
12 Dec 2020
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Summary
Kurosawa learns about Adachi's mind reading magic and takes it a little too well.
For tumblr prompt from user negrowhat: "What if when Adachi tells Kurosawa about his virgin-activated mind reading abilities Kurosawa begins to mentally flirt with Adachi in public to watch him freak out?"Bookmarked by june7012
17 Dec 2025
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Summer in Skyhaven. She said it was too hot to sleep. Caleb took that personally.
Series
- Part 3 of Apple Adventures
Bookmarked by june7012
16 Dec 2025
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Summary
"Have you heard? The Light of Kshahrewar is back in the city. With a child."
Alhaitham doesn't concern himself with strangers if it can be helped. But Kaveh isn't a stranger, and so he seeks the truth.
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Roses are red and they taste like shit by Unbreakable_Red_Riot
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
01 Oct 2018
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Summary
Katsuki was really fucking sick of the smell of flowers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,846
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 2,140
- Kudos:
- 14,887
- Bookmarks:
- 2,449
- Hits:
- 177,059
Bookmarked by june7012
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
Lan Xichen glanced back on the phone before speaking, at the picture of Wei Ying’s dating profile.
“I think you are being catfished,” Lan Xichen stated, so straightforward it felt uncharacteristically harsh.
or, lwj might be getting catfished
Bookmarked by june7012
10 Dec 2025
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It's Always Been You by GrilledFish
Fandoms: 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
28 May 2022
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Summary
Truly, who dares to defile His Highness in such a way? Who dares to lay their filthy hands on even a piece of His Highness' hair?
"Wu Ming?"
The ghost brings his attention back to His Highness in front of him and drops his gaze back to the floor. No matter; he will do everything in his power to protect His Highness and His Highness' unborn child and find out the culprit that did this to His Highness.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,591
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 75
- Kudos:
- 3,588
- Bookmarks:
- 645
- Hits:
- 28,760
Bookmarked by june7012
06 Dec 2025
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Summary
He teased, “You know, you’re really cute when you’re all flustered like this, Killua.”
Blue eyes widened, enraged. “I am not cute, dammit!”
“Mmm, yeah. You are.” He kissed Killua’s scarlet cheek before Killua could duck out of the way.
“Oh my god.” Killua tried to hide his face in his hands but Gon caught his wrists and pulled them down. Killua had nowhere to run or hide now, trapped between Gon’s body and the table at his back.
Which was bad for Killua, but very, very good for Gon.
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In order to steal back a prized treasure from a greedy collector, an older Gon and Killua need to book a room in an elite hotel. The only problem? It's a honeymoon suite and only married couples need apply...
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“I don’t get it,” Gon said numbly, staring unblinkingly at the vibrant and blood-smeared flower petals scattered across their lunchroom table. They were as beautiful as they were deadly. “How can someone not love you, Killua?”
“There are different kinds of love, Gon,” Killua answered, and his tone held the faintest trace scorn. “Being in love is different then just loving someone, and that’s what causes Hanahaki.”
((Hanahaki Disease- an illness in which unrequited love causes the patient to coughs up flower petals, eventually leading to suffocation))
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,557
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 711
- Kudos:
- 7,310
- Bookmarks:
- 1,199
- Hits:
- 109,927
Bookmarked by june7012
03 Dec 2025
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Summary
Penelope drunkenly confesses her love to her best friend’s brother, leaving her mortified come morning.
Two months later, in a desperate attempt to move on, she brings her new boyfriend to the Bridgerton’s annual weekend away.
But if Colin Bridgerton doesn’t love her back, why does he look like he wants to kill him?