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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is going to murder his agent.

    And he means that literally. Because his agent is the reason he’s currently wearing a hot mic during Hockey Night in Canada. Against the Ottawa Centaurs. Against Ilya.

    Ilya, who has no filter. Ilya, who thinks workplace professionalism is a hilarious suggestion for other people. Ilya, who has spent a decade perfecting the art of saying absolutely unhinged things to Shane on the ice, safe in the knowledge that nobody can hear him.

    Ilya, who definitely doesn’t know about the microphone.

    What follows is sixty minutes of Shane’s life flashing before his eyes while his secret boyfriend enthusiastically discusses their sex life, their broken furniture, and exactly what he wants to do to Shane after the game — all broadcast to millions of viewers.

    The problem? Shane can’t get a word in edgewise to warn him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    551
    Kudos:
    23,246
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    28 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione Granger had been asked—and agreed—to do many absurd things since learning she was a witch, usually involving Harry Potter. This long list included, in no particular order, smuggling baby dragons, being placed unconscious at the bottom of a lake surrounded by merpeople, and traveling back in time to fly an escaped convict to safety on the back of a mythical creature. But returning to a Death Eater-controlled Hogwarts pretending to be Daphne Greengrass may have been the most ridiculous yet.

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    Slow burn, wartime Dramione. Complete.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    208,310
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Collections:
    44
    Comments:
    1,702
    Kudos:
    11,264
    Bookmarks:
    5,174
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    574,838

    25 Jul 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Every Death Eater is allowed to make one final request before their execution.

    Draco Malfoy asks to see Hermione Granger.

    And somewhere, a butterfly flaps its wings.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,451
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    958
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    5,895
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    2,161
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    25 Jul 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    At a holiday party for Ministry employees, Granger explains the muggle tradition of setting a New Year’s resolution to Draco.

    Draco, who has recently discovered that his feelings for her are more than platonic, latches onto the idea. What better time to “buckle down”—as the muggleborns say—on his efforts than January 1?

    And so, Draco has decided, in the amount of time it takes her to describe the concept, that his New Year's resolution will consist of one lofty goal: to woo Hermione Granger.

    All he has to do is navigate decoy, mid, and quarter year resolutions, join a fantasy (American) football team, train for a sprint triathlon, keep an overbearing Theodore Nott away from Granger, and dodge suspicious looks from overprotective Potters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,291
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    740
    Kudos:
    3,544
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    1,350
    Hits:
    92,201

    25 Jul 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Five years after the war, Hermione Granger has very little time for something like a relationship. She's far too busy trying to run the Bureau for Endangered Creatures efficiently, dealing with budget cuts and ignorant ministry officials and finding a way to somehow restore her parents' memories, who are still in Australia and none the wiser about the existence of their daughter.

    When she discovers that the Wizengamot plans to use Draco Malfoy as a scapegoat whilst dealing with elusive Voldemort loyalists, she offers to testify for him. She's not quite sure how it led to her trying on wedding dresses under the watchful eye of Narcissa Malfoy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    320,000
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    24
    Comments:
    3,374
    Kudos:
    13,314
    Bookmarks:
    4,897
    Hits:
    727,108

    25 Jul 2025