lylahwntrs
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Drowning in feelings / Feeling like drowning by lylahwntrs
Fandoms: Star Trek: The Next Generation
07 May 2026
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Summary
One night Counselor Deanna Troi awakens in excruciating pain from sensing the strongest feelings of despair and grief she has ever sensed - her mind might very well explode, then nothing, the total absence of feelings.
"At 2:33AM last night the unnamed planet experienced a total annihilation event, there are no life signs of any kind." Picard sounds weary as he tells them and Deanna feels like the world has just opened under her feet. The pain, the anger, the grief and then nothing. She had felt the death of an entire race.OR
The enterprise crew save a young woman from a mysterious planet and Deanna is determined to learn everything about her and her home, especially why she can only sense her when asleep, how does one go about hiding a whole planet for centuries, and what kind of woman can be the sole survivor of a planet annihilation?
As they get to know each other and the woman joins the enterprise crew in the most unofficial of capacities, Deanna realizes that she holds more than empathic curiosity in regard to the young woman. -
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Natalia Romanova has joined SHIELD 3 years ago, things have changed and gotten better but in a way they haven’t - she has simply traded one prison for another gilded one. She is and has always been a soldier, she doesn’t know how to be anything else.
She still hasn’t adapted to life outside of the mission because she has never been given a chance to do so.
Her only chance at a life would be to quit SHIELD but she will never do that, she would survive of course, but she would never live.
But some people are trying their best to give her a chance, to find a way to ease her into being a person.
It’s a trick, it’s a ruse, it could make everything worse and undo all the progress she has made. But Natalia is stuck halfway between the hell of the Red room and the solace of a mundane life.
As a last desperate push, they send her undercover as her own self in suburbia, a house, a cat, time to read or make friends - under the guise of a mission of course.OR
Fury and Hill trick Natasha into realizing that a life outside the mission isn’t so bad after all.
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Ava Silva is an A-list actress, she loves her job and mostly loves her life, and when things aren’t so great she can always turn to her favorite books. For ten years now, she has spent countless nights chasing away stress and nightmares with Rebecca Summers’ books. She dreams of nothing more than to one day meet the woman whose words have made her feel more than anyone ever has, but Rebecca Summers is nothing more than a nom de plume for the most secret and mysterious author on the planet.
Still, when Ava is offered the role of one of Rebecca’s characters she is determined to meet the woman, instead all she gets is type-A movie consultant Beatrice Young, who is nothing more than Rebecca’s annoying and slightly socially awkward assistant. -
Compartmentalization and all the things we never said by lylahwntrs
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV)
19 Mar 2025
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She can fall apart quietly, she's done it so many times growing up. Showers have become her renaissance, she has become an expert at washing away anything she does not want to carry. And she does not want to carry this raw, heart wrenching scream with her anymore. JJ longs for the time when she will no longer be able to hear it. Even though deep down she knows, there will always be another scream, there will always be another child losing their sister, and she will always carry her eleven year old self inside.
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JJ and Emily have to share a room while away on a case that's hitting JJ particularly hard.
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Love letters and grief letters are one and the same by lylahwntrs
Fandoms: Warrior Nun (TV)
25 Nov 2024
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"I don’t pray, not anymore. Now that we have learned the whole Order has been built on a lie I haven’t been able to remain strong in my faith. I have never been particularly strong in that regard, I have always believed more in the Order and our mission that in God himself.
I can no longer talk to God, so I talk to you, as blasphemous as it may be.
Loving you is a big enough sin that blasphemy does not matter much to me, not anymore."The final battle was mere days ago, Beatrice doesn't grieve because Ava isn't dead. But she feels, oh she feels so much. So she writes letters to Ava. She apologizes, hurts, shouts, cries, and loves. All in the secrecy and sanctuary of her journal while she waits for Ava to come back.
Because Ava will come back, she has to, for Beatrice.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 1,063
- Works:
- 2
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slightly au. Jane is a librarian at the BCU campus library and Maura is a med student looking for a book.
Reposting this from my other FF account since I'm working on it again.Bookmarked by lylahwntrs
04 Jun 2025
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- Words:
- 71,991
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 9
Bookmarked by lylahwntrs
10 Nov 2024
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- Words:
- 27,638
- Works:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 128
Bookmarked by lylahwntrs
20 Mar 2024
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Alexandra Cabot's little sister turns the Special Victims Unit on its head.
PLEASE NOTE: Very, very long chapters.
Bookmarked by lylahwntrs
14 Dec 2023
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The Devil's Keeper by TheTruthAboutLove
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel
23 Jun 2018
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Summary
Maria stopped as soon as she entered the room and raised her eyes towards the woman in the cage, the reason they were called and ordered there. The alleged Black Widow. The red hair, the green eyes, even the curious tilt of her chin were familiar to her. She knew that woman.
“Natasha?”
“Who told you that name?" [...] "I've never seen you before. But whatever I did to you,” she paused and faked a smirk, she felt her fingers begin to tingle, her jump was about to end, her time was almost up, “I'm going to enjoy every second of it.”
- Language:
- English
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- 161,265
- Chapters:
- 40/40
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- 2
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- 3,243
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Bookmarked by lylahwntrs
28 Apr 2023