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"You want to go down this road?" asked Shadowheart. "At least do it well. If you need a fake date who’s pretty, charming, and distracting for both yourself and others? Who won’t take it too seriously, but also won’t fuck it up by being embarrassed the entire time? You don’t ask me. You ask Astarion.”
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A year after their adventuring party officially disbanded to enjoy their fame and immense wealth to the full, tiefling wizard Rosalie (reluctantly) asks Astarion for some help with a large, fake-date, ex-girlfriend sized problem.
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- Part 4 of Rat Bastard Boi (BG3)
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- English
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- 39,803
- Chapters:
- 8/8
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- 543
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Bookmarked by mxony
08 Oct 2024
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Pieces Still Stuck In Your Teeth by howlsmovinglibrary
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
22 May 2024
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“I mean it,” she said. “Don’t kill anyone, Astarion. You’ve gotten what you wanted. Seven thousand lives was enough.”
“I don’t take orders from you anymore. You just said so, yourself.”
“The moment you kill someone,” Rose replied, “is the moment I'll know that my next task is to stop you.”
“Darling,” Astarion grinned, “I would sincerely like to see you try.”
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The Vampire Ascendent has crossed a line. Eleven years after making the biggest mistake of her life and losing the man she loved, tiefling wizard (now Archmage) Rosalie decides it’s time to put this Astarion in the ground for good. Hopefully, both her head and her heart are strong enough to see this awful task through to its end.
(A lovers-to-enemies, ‘we’re divorced and going to make it everyone else’s problem’, Vampire-Ascendent-aesthetic-but-make- it “I can STILL fix him’ fic)
Series
- Part 5 of Rat Bastard Boi (BG3)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 188,837
- Chapters:
- 27/27
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- 2
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Bookmarked by mxony
08 Oct 2024
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would you like to live (with your soul in the grave) by tambuli
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Wuthering Heights - All Media Types
18 Jun 2017
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In the years to come, Neria Surana will be said in the same breath as Aveline the Brave, Aveline the lady knight, Aveline who paved the way for women who wished to become chevaliers. In the years to come the minstrels will sing of the elven Warden-mage, she of the hair which shone like the moon and the eyes blue as ice, as steel.
There could be none kinder, none sweeter, none braver than brave Neria, who took her lover’s sword and slew Urthemiel at the cost of her life.
Morrigan knows better.
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Bookmarked by mxony
23 Jul 2024
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Eight months after Martinaise, an entroponetic experiment gone wrong lands Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Harrier Du Bois in a temporary coma, and Precinct 41 finds itself saddled with twenty-four unusual new inhabitants.
- Language:
- English
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- 27,663
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 301
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- 3,711
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- 820
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Bookmarked by mxony
27 Jun 2024
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A dead woman in an alley, a girl with a thousand faces, a fiancé with blood on his hands, a wealthy family with an agenda, and the two detectives who would solve the case at any cost.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,417
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 426
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- 4,038
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- 861
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Bookmarked by mxony
02 Apr 2024

