namjuntree
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Summary
Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.
Except, well. Then there are zombies.
- Language:
- English
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- 95,670
- Chapters:
- 3/3
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Bookmarked by namjuntree
04 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this is genuinely all i can think about it has changed my life
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Summary
Shane thought that by the time he was thirty, he’d be married and on the waitlist to adopt a baby. He spent his twenties in one serious longterm relationship after another, after all.
Instead he is now twenty-nine, single for over a year and looking for a nice, stable boyfriend: preferably college educated and in the same place in life as he is.
The only problem is that the bartender at the restaurant Shane takes his dates to is the hottest man Shane has ever seen in his life.
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In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.
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Summary
Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.
The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”
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Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium. -
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Summary
“I want to fuck you before my dick stops working.”
“You know that’s a possible side effect, right? We don’t know that’s gonna happen.”
“Mm. If I expect it I will not be disappointed.”
“If it does, we’ll figure something out. And—“
“A broken dick is better than a broken brain.”
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or; ilya takes medication and he can't come like he usually does so they try something new. also emotions and tenderness and love.