neonspacewalker



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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    16 Jan 2026

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    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

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    17 Dec 2025

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    “And then other times,” Lance said. “I’m just, like, dying to know what a mouth would feel like around my dick.”
    Keith choked on air and said, with absolutely no go-ahead from his brain, “I have a mouth.”
    Half-laughing, Lance said, “Is that an offer?”
    He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. His throat was dry. “Is that an acceptance?”
    --
    The summer after freshman year of college, Lance drags Keith back to their hometown to hang out. But the two of them rarely spend time together without Hunk and Pidge around, because things had a way of getting out of hand real quick. This summer is... no different.

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    31 Mar 2020