nettles



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.”

    “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old.

    Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

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    23 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    A series of unrelated, canon-compliant oneshots about Shane and Ilya being horny and/or feral for each other.

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    21 Mar 2026

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    So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it.

    His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander.

    Right. His shirt looks good on Hollander.

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    19 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you."

    "...thank you." Scott said cautiously.

    "You are probably oldest to ever win Cup, so that is very impressive. They should give you special geriatric award."

    There it was.

    "Jesus fucking Christ, kid." Scott huffed a laugh. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"

    "Ah, but I am funny." Rozanov shrugged, sipping his vodka. "And hot." He winked at Kip.

    Kip's jaw flew open and Scott immediately pulled his boyfriend closer to him. So what if Ilya Rozanov was 100% straight and definitely trying to fuck with him? Scott still wasn't going to just stand there while fucking Rozanov flirted with his boyfriend.

    (kip meets ilya at the mvp award night. they become friends <3)

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    15 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A few months after the FanMail incident, Yuna Hollander decides to do what she does best. With the added benefit of having another son to lovingly manage, of course. The internet, unsurprisingly, loses its shit.

    Or, Shane and Ilya go on the press run to end all press runs, courtesy of Yuna Hollander.

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    10 Mar 2026