on_mars
Fandoms
- 9-1-1 (TV) (30)
- Supernatural (TV 2005) (1)
Recent works
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be the one, be the one to take me home and show me the sun by on_mars
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
29 Sep 2022
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“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks, his expression open and warm, like he cares.
And Buck’s smart enough to believe that Eddie does – in fact – care. That he has for a long time. But the question he asks himself is not whether Eddie cares now, it’s whether he will care always.
Living a life like Buck has, it only makes sense to wait for the other shoe to drop, to wait for someone to finally pull the rug from under his feet.
“It’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about me.” Buck shrugs it off.
“Yeah that’s too late for that, bud.” Eddie says, poking him on the shoulders. “So humor me, okay?”
[OR Eddie checks on Buck after breakfast with Chimney. They talk about the shooting, and couches]
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losing my religion (quand tes regrets sont des cris) by on_mars for hexensalbei
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
27 Feb 2022
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And that’s when it comes:
“I’m in love with you.”
It comes as a whisper, his voice barely covering the sound of traffic Eddie can hear in the distance. And for a few seconds, Eddie wonders – would that be a terrible thing? To act like nothing happened? To act like he hasn’t heard these words coming from Buck’s mouth? Except – no. That wouldn’t be fair.
Wouldn’t be credible either, not when his body already reacts for him. The words are out and suddenly Eddie’s hot. The sun is not a warm presence that envelops him and brings him comfort anymore, it’s hot and stifling and it weighs on Eddie’s lungs like a thousand bricks and yes – he’s pretty sure he’s going to pass out.
[OR watch me transferring all my catholic guilt to Eddie.]
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“What– hum – what are you doing here?” Eddie asks, trying to give himself more composure. In vain. His voice breaks and he coughs, making it look like a sore throat.
“Giving you a hand.” Buck says nonchalantly, sitting down next to him and taking the jumper from his hands. And it’s nothing, it’s something so insignificant and yet that’s what makes Eddie’s sheer willpower go up in smoke.
He sniffles and wipes a tear with the back of his hand, whispering a small ‘thank you’ as he folds Christopher’s new tracksuit. And Buck only shrugs his shoulders, knocking his knee against Eddie’s with a smile.
For a few minutes, no one says anything. Eddie transfers a small pile of Christopher’s clothes from his side to Buck’s and they continue folding in silence. Not that Eddie minds. He would gladly sit and fold clothes for three more hours if it meant being close to Buck like that again, their knees touching, their hands brushing past each other.
“I get it, you know.” Buck eventually says after a few seconds. “Why you left.”
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“Ravi, what’s a DILF?” Buck suddenly asks out of the blue, and Ravi stops scrubbing, looking up at his friend. Friend? Coworker – Ravi corrects himself. They’re not quite there yet, after all. “Someone commented the picture I posted of me and Christopher on Instagram. They called me a DILF. What’s that supposed to mean?”
And in that moment, Ravi couldn’t tell you what pushes him to lie. Maybe the considerate part of him doesn’t wish to ruin the sweet memory Buck likely has of that picture, maybe he’s just mindful of what Eddie would want people to comment under a picture of his own son, or maybe his intentions are much more malicious and he just wants to take his revenge on Buck chasing him with a chainsaw.
In any case, he lies.
“That just means – uh – Devoted, Involved… and Loving Father.”
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“I wish you knew how to talk to me.”
“I’m talking to you all the time.” Eddie answers. Because that’s the only thing he knows how to do, trying to deflect the problem, avoid what’s at stake and flee the conversation. But this time, it doesn’t work. This time, it’s not enough.
“Not of the things that matter.” Buck says. “Never of the things that matter.”
[OR Eddie and Buck finally talk]
Recent bookmarks
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Karen sits on the coffee table across from him, leaning in and placing a steady weight on his knees.
Above them, he hears, “Did something happen to Buck? Should we call Maddie?”
Eddie chokes, sitting upright, and looking over his shoulder at Hen, “No,” he says, voice gravelly. “Do not call Maddie.”
“Okay,” Hen says, frowning. “Why?”
He groans, turning back around and burying his face in his hands again. “Because Bucks probably already told her and there’s no doubt I’ve jumped to the top of her to be killed list.” He looks up. “Don’t tell me she doesn’t have a to be killed list, because I guarantee she does now.”
“Okay. What’s going on?”
He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “I kissed Buck.”
Bookmarked by on_mars
09 Jul 2025
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“Does it ever make you feel left out?” he finds himself asking when they close the ambulance doors, before he gets the chance to overthink it.
“What?”
“The whole,” he gestures vaguely, “pride thing.”
Chim levels him with a look. “Not really? Maybe on the day of the parade I might get a bit envious that they’re all having fun without me, but that’s just your regular old FOMO. Do you?”
Eddie shrugs.
“Just FOMO, too, I guess,” he lies. It’s easier than trying to explain the whole ‘drowning on the inside of his body’ thing he feels whenever someone so much as mentions it.
Chimney narrows his eyes at him, but the others are starting to wrap up the scene, so Eddie takes the chance to escape before he gets asked something he can't answer.
Or;
Whenever he hears anyone talk about their plans for pride, Eddie gets depressed. He tries to figure out why.Bookmarked by on_mars
09 Jun 2025
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Buck turns to him with a confused look, just as Eddie runs his fingers through the curls to smooth them out. Buck's head tilts into the touch, his eyes sheeny in the illuminated light of the TV screen as he feels the hair between his fingers. Eddie skips a breath, and they look at each other for just a second, then Buck turns back, and he swears his face is a little pinker than it was before.
Eddie pulls his hand back to his thighs, his fingers tingling from the touch. His hair is soft between his fingers, and Eddie wonders if he pulls his hand to his nose, would he smell his shampoo?
Bookmarked by on_mars
08 Jun 2025
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“They just follow it around, copying it and helping it and bothering it so much that it's like, worn down into loving the duckling back and looking out for it.”
“So,” said Eddie, furrowing his brow. “In this scenario, you are—”
“A baby duckling, newly hatched into the world with no idea what’s going on.”
“And I am—”
“The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes.”
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Eddie has no idea how to cope when a temporary case of amnesia causes the return of Buck 1.0. Buck has no clue why his future self hasn't made the moves on his hot best friend. It all goes pretty well, considering.
Series
- Part 1 of make way for Buckling
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,226
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 503
- Kudos:
- 12,163
- Bookmarks:
- 2,868
- Hits:
- 125,867
Bookmarked by on_mars
05 Jun 2025
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I slept with Buck, he imagines saying out loud. To Bobby, probably. Bobby gives good advice, always listens carefully, like it matters. Doesn't judge, at least not out loud.
Gave. Bobby gave good advice. Bobby is never going to look at Eddie across the big table at the station loft with a faintly amused expression on his face while he tells Eddie something that Eddie deep down already knew.
I slept with Buck. I don't know what to do.
Bobby would raise his eyebrows and say, Well, maybe you should talk to him.
Bookmarked by on_mars
07 May 2025