phoenixsongs
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All David wants to do is sign Marcy Brewer on to sell her amazing fudge at Rose Apothecary. Unfortunately for him, her very snippy, business consultant son gets involved. In an effort to win both Marcy and Patrick over, David invites Patrick to spend some time in the store and on a vendor trip. There’s snow forecast for the day of the vendor trip, but it’s Schitt’s Creek and it never snows. Right?
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Bookmarked by phoenixsongs
11 Dec 2022
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If someone wants out, David wants them out fast. Get in, fuck themselves out, and that’s all she wrote. It’s dependable. It’s uncomplicated. It has a morbid sort of elegance. It’s the Edgar Allan Poe of dating strategies. A week is plenty of time for someone to realize they’re hurtling toward a David-shaped mistake.
Everyone has a finite amount of David-Tolerance, and six days after their first date, David tries to find Patrick’s limit.
Bookmarked by phoenixsongs
01 Nov 2022
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The man–David, 30, 79 miles away–is giving the camera an imperious stare, thick eyebrows knitted together, dark stubble perfectly highlighting his face, lips parted just slightly. The only word Patrick can think of to describe him is beautiful and even that feels inadequate. He stares at the picture for so long, waiting for his brain to come back online, that his phone screen dims and shuts off.
AU in which David and Patrick meet via a dating app, or the answer to the question, "what if David's 79-mile-away match from 2x07 was actually Patrick?"
Bookmarked by phoenixsongs
01 May 2022
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He goes to the gym.
Those words have been pinballing around David’s brain for the better part of the last few days. And nights. And sure, yes. It’s obvious that Ted does, in fact, go to the gym. Because a physique like that doesn’t just happen by accident. A significant amount of work and sweat goes into a body like that, and David just isn’t the kind of person who is ready to make that kind of commitment to anything other than the store, his beauty regimen, and Patrick.
Or:
Set between Housewarming and Rock On, David is feeling more than a little self conscious about his body.
Bookmarked by phoenixsongs
16 Mar 2022
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I just- I… this documentary is French, is all.”
“Um, yes? It’s been on this entire time and you literally only just noticed that they’re not speaking English?”
“Yeah, no, I did notice earlier, I just… I just assumed you were watching this with subtitles on or something, but you’re not? I guess I just never knew that you knew French.”
Or: Patrick learns something new about his husband.
Bookmarked by phoenixsongs
07 Jan 2022