plsfixmyexpectations
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It really is the end of the world (not) by orphan_account
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Feb 2025
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Summary
Tom, the vampire, claims that through his bite Harry has become his thrall. Harry, the fae, claims that Tom has consumed fae food without his permission so is bound to serve him. A lawyer is called upon to straighten out the problem.
The lawyer casually declares Harry Potter and Tom Riddle bonded in matrimony (gasp....married).
Harry tries to kill Tom—and fails spectacularly. Tom finds this utterly endearing.
Series
- Part 1 of chaotic one-shots
Bookmarked by plsfixmyexpectations
04 Oct 2026
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Summary
Harry Potter is screwed.
With a penchant for Firewhiskey and late-night parties, he had no idea that he would find a handsome man in his bed the next morning, when he wakes up; already late for his first day at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies as a Healer trainee. He also had no idea that his mom’s ex-boyfriend would have an axe to grind, the most eager girl would follow him around like she’d been hit with a Permanent Sticking Charm, or that the handsome man in his bed that morning was his boss, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Head of Spell Damage.
Like I said, Harry Potter is screwed.
Series
- Part 1 of Diagnosis: A Medical Dramedy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 282,456
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Comments:
- 1,831
- Kudos:
- 9,551
- Bookmarks:
- 3,537
- Hits:
- 297,091
Bookmarked by plsfixmyexpectations
03 Oct 2026
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Summary
Harry Potter was a perfect symbol of the Light. Cursed at birth by a spell that had affected so many of his generation, he overcame his inherent nature, depending on his faith to eventually save the world. He became a beacon of hope, evidence that anyone could be redeemed. Even ten years after the events that had tested the very limits of his willpower, he continued his work. He was determined to find proof of miracles—to see that the Light looked over the rest of the world as it looked over him.
And he eventually found what he was looking for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,800
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 515
- Bookmarks:
- 203
- Hits:
- 15,472
Bookmarked by plsfixmyexpectations
20 Aug 2026
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Summary
Once upon a time there was a strange and magical land. One filled with ordinary villages and ordinary people, a dark and forbidding Forest, and a castle shrouded in mist. In the castle lived an Evil King, whose court of Death Eaters did his evil bidding. And there was a curse. There was a curse, and a magic mirror, and a boy as white as snow.
But first, there was a Huntsman.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,942
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 47
- Kudos:
- 411
- Bookmarks:
- 90
- Hits:
- 4,049
Bookmarked by plsfixmyexpectations
16 Aug 2026
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Summary
The child gave a pout that Voldemort refused to admit was adorable, and then he remembered he'd come in for a different reason. "Daddy Vee, if you and Daddy can talk to snakes, why can't I? I want to be a parsley mouth too!"
Trapped in a peace treaty marriage with Potter, Voldemort finds himself raising Teddy Lupin.
Series
- Part 12 of The Purge
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,860
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 374
- Bookmarks:
- 64
- Hits:
- 1,978
Bookmarked by plsfixmyexpectations
16 Aug 2026