1 Work by randomdare
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"Hi, Roy! How a-"
"Jamie Tartt just fucking kissed me."
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"In a sexual way?"
"No. Why the fuck would it be in a sexual way?"
"Right, then so why are you so bothered?"
"Because it pisses me off that he would think that I'm the type of person that celebrates something by kissing instead of internalizing it and never giving myself the satisfaction of enjoying the moment. As I fucking should!"
"Still struggling to see the issue here."
"I am just so fucking angry. I can't get it out of my head. I want to make him run laps until his feet bleed."
"So you're really not seeing anything unusual about the fact that you can't get the idea of Jamie kissing you out of your head? Nothing at all?"
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"I hooked up with my boss."
"For FUCKS sake!"*dial tone*