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    When Bucky's libido shows back up, it's basically proof that his life is cursed.

    Like, obviously, hooray that his dick works again, it's been a long fuckin’ road (and a long road of no fucking, his brain helpfully adds) but—Jesus, fuck, Hydra really are just dedicated to making his life a misery in every possible way, even years down the track, because it turns out there's some operant conditioning Bucky did not know about until now.

    Specifically: he can't fuckin’ come unless someone's giving him the order.

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    07 May 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Sam's about to exit out of the page and nag at Sarah for becoming a gossip-rag-follower when a voice starts piping out of his phone’s speaker.

    “Breaking news on our favorite superhero couple,” says the host of the show, bright and plasticky under the studio lights. “That’s right, folks! We’ve got solid evidence that the Cap and Winter Soldier romance is real—”

    Sam’s finger slams down on the pause button.

    What, he thinks, the hell.

    Or: five times that people think Sam and Bucky are dating, and one time that they don't.

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    06 May 2025

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    Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

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    14 Mar 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    14 Mar 2025

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    “Remember what I said about internet trolls?”

    “Don’t feed the trolls.”

    “Exactly. Did I not say the same thing to Barnes?” Tony asked rhetorically. “Were those not my exact words? I could have sworn they were, and yet.”

    “Bucky’s feeding the trolls?”

    “He’s throwing a goddamn seven-course troll banquet. Every time someone on Twitter asks if your relationship announcement is real, he replies. Colorfully.”

    Steve opened his mouth to ask what “colorfully” meant, then caught the gleam in Tony’s eye and put two and two together. He blushed. Colorfully. “Oh.”

    (Steve and Bucky announce their relationship in a very dignified press conference. Bucky then replies to every goddamn tweet asking him to confirm it with a different dirty euphemism. Things escalate from there.)

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    13 Mar 2025