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I'd Feed You Figs Under the Olive Trees by MaltaAndThe7Cats
Fandoms: Night at the Museum (Movies)
31 Dec 2025
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Summary
Jed and Octy are best friends, right? And they're men right? And men do men things. Like fightin' each other, galvanizing through the museum and findin' trouble.
But when Octavius is havin' a little emotional breakdown after watchin' a rom-com he confesses that he's looking for more. He's lookin' for love.
Sure! That's understandable, he's a worthy fellow!
But that's not all. He's looking for . . . well . . . he's lookin' for a fella to be his spark.
So where does that leave Jed? What's he goin' to do if Octy finds himself another man?
Why he'd do just about anything to keep Oty by his side.
Anything.
Actually, uh, yeah, Jed's not sure just how far he'd go. He doesn't have this figured out yet. But damned if he isn't tryin'.
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Or:
Fellas, it is gay to not be gay but willing to date your best friend so you can keep him from dating other men?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 166,183
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Comments:
- 635
- Kudos:
- 1,148
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 26,145
Bookmarked by solarsaur
31 Mar 2026
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Summary
After a freak training accident during MK’s training under the Monkey King, Wukong seems to have gotten amnesia, setting his brain back 1300 years during the Journey to the West…
“Ugh… my head…” he grumbled, frowning deeply, “What kind of demon…”
“Wukong?” Macaque said, his concern showing clearly on his face. “Hey, you okay, Peaches?” the shadow demon asked, examining Wukong’s face and turning it firmly in his hands, frowning when he saw that his glamours had dropped, the most noticeable were Wukong’s blood red eyes. What was more concerning was the glamours that had disappeared around his face. Those were the most important. The king didn’t usually care when someone saw any of his numerous scars, but the circlet’s mark was something else entirely. It wasn’t just some blemish. It was a branding.
...Sun Wukong no longer had his memories. So that begs the question… how will he get them back and how did MK, his student, somehow have enough power to knock these memories out of him in the first place? It just didn’t make any sense, did it?
Not unless there was another force at play.
Bookmarked by solarsaur
30 Oct 2025
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Summary
Octavius sets Jed down as quickly as possible without straight up throwing him to the ground and gets into position. He’s seen this exactly once in a movie he can’t remember the name of, and that victim had drowned in water, but surely the concept of clearing the airways and making oxygen circulate was the same here, and Octavius didn’t have any further ideas save for beating the life back into Jedediah with his helmet, which he couldn’t do because he’d lost it in the sand.
OR
Jedediah is a drama queen and Octavius loses his shit (a rewrite of the hourglass scene).
Series
- Part 1 of A Cowboy and a Roman
Bookmarked by solarsaur
31 Mar 2026

