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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    5+1 where shane and ilya are married, but no one knows. they decided the best way to handle the situation is clear; fall in love again in front of the other centaurs.

    5 “firsts” +1 where the centaurs lose their mind.

    title from everything is romantic by charli xcx

    Chapter 1: planning
    Chapter 2: crushing
    Chapter 3: flirting
    Chapter 4: dating
    Chapter 5: kissing
    Chapter 6: laughing

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,905
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    473
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    14 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    485
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    5,766
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    1,366
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    46,512

    13 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Jackie and Hayden conspire to set Shane up with one of Jackie's friends by inviting him over for dinner without telling him that said friend will be present.

    Shane and Ilya decide it's time they come out to the Pikes as a couple, so Shane invites Ilya over to the Pikes' place for dinner without sending Hayden a forewarning.

    Cue: a jealous man, a confused house guest, and one very kid-friendly Russian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,942
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    189
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    10 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane's eyes squeeze closed again. “We had reason to put rules in place. Protocol. If ever—if it got to a place where, if he was ever feeling like he might—"

    Hayden’s body understands before his mind catches up. His blood runs cold for a second, stuck on the scrunch of Shane’s face, the clench of his fist, how desperate he’d been to see Rozanov—Ilya—just now. To make sure that he was okay. Here, in person.

    Not hurt. Alive.

    “Oh,” Hayden hears himself say distantly. “Oh, fuck, Shane.”

    --

    or, Ilya needs a place to go, and Hayden's happens to be the closest. It turns out to be a good thing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,340
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    09 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Wiebe could tell he was wearing Ilya down, but he still looked nervous. "Ilya," Ilya stilled. To his team he was always Rozanov or Roz or Rozy, never Ilya. "You're our guy. There's nobody I'd rather be our captain, to lead this team to another Stanley Cup. It's clear you don't like the guy, but we both know how good this could be."

    Ilya jerked his head in a nod. "We will destroy everyone, this is true." Wiebe seemed satisfied. Ilya stood to leave and delivered one last look at Wiebe "But I do not have to be happy about it."

    ***
    Shane and Ilya are estranged for years after Tuna Meltdown. Then Shane confuses everyone by signing with the Raiders.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,784
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
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    107,776

    07 Mar 2026