tbh0809
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This story is set twenty-three years after the fall of Voldemort. Our main characters are Ministry employees, middle-aged, and the majority of them not very happy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,893
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 26
- Comments:
- 1,661
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Bookmarked by tbh0809
04 Jun 2025
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In which Draco is hit by an unfamiliar curse, affecting his magic. Hermione is a healer, specialising in magical degenerative diseases. Healing him demands copious amounts of research, forced proximity and red wine. Added bonus is pining, frisky feelings and a grumpy cat.
Set 15 years after the war, this fic features my favourite tropes, a medical mystery, a reasonable amount of snark, and a lot (a lot) of pure self-indulgence.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 95,300
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,221
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- 2,269
- Bookmarks:
- 924
- Hits:
- 82,946
Bookmarked by tbh0809
02 Jun 2025
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Draco was sure the little house was following him. Running from undesirables? The house would pop into view. Trying to make a difficult delivery? A red door would materialize out of nowhere. Finishing the day and bone tired? Red door.
This could go quite badly, he reasoned, but it just didn't feel like an ominous thing.
Curiosity won. He limped through the doorway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,553
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 203
- Kudos:
- 1,171
- Bookmarks:
- 237
- Hits:
- 10,947
Bookmarked by tbh0809
25 May 2025
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On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.
Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…
For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,391
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 1,744
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- 3,560
- Bookmarks:
- 2,388
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- 199,151
Bookmarked by tbh0809
25 May 2025
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On Pineapples and Principal Penetration by ChaosAndCrumpets for rattlebag
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Mar 2023
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All Hermione Granger hopes for from an unexpected invitation to a pineapple party is to connect with some like-minded people over a well-baked upside-down cake. All Draco Malfoy needs is a place to put his unfortunately under-utilised erection.
Maybe there's a way they can both get what they want.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,481
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 647
- Kudos:
- 2,161
- Bookmarks:
- 503
- Hits:
- 46,654
Bookmarked by tbh0809
08 May 2025