1 - 20 of 30 Works by theoldbean
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“I’ve always found Christmas to be a rather romantic time. Wouldn’t you agree, Jeeves?” I said to my man.
“The season does have its particular charms, sir,” Jeeves replied.
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In which Jeeves and Bertie pass a fateful Christmas at Skeldings Hall, the home of one Bobbie Wickham, and find themselves spending quite a bit of time under the mistletoe.
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Bertie Phones a Friend by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
28 Nov 2025
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"We Woosters are men of iron wills, spines made of steel, all the sort of stuff befitting the sort of chappies who fought at Agincourt. But at this particular moment, this particular Wooster was feeling rather nervous to pick up the phone. It wasn’t the device itself, you understand, that was causing my insides to twist and churn, but instead the nature of the call I was tasked with and the subsequent request I had to make."
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Bertie calls a friend for a favor.
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Down to Earth by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
30 Oct 2025
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"Like Icarus, I had flown too close to the sun and had only my inevitable plunge into the storm-tossed sea awaiting me. Mr. Wooster, seeing my faults, my melted wings of wax, would tire of me and find another more worthy of his praise and ardor."
Jeeves’s attempt to rescue Bertie from a hedge maze goes awry, leaving the two stranded, and the chaps start to see each other in a new light.
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Jeeves and the Amorous Advice by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
20 Sep 2025
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“My dear, I would prefer if you were to refrain from giving your friends advice relating to the bedroom," Jeeves said.
“What? I mean to say, why?” I replied, absolutely flabbergasted.
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In which Bertie gives Bingo some fruity advice, it backfires, and he must put the matter before Jeeves in order to give Bingo something more up to snuff. And perhaps Bertie discovers something about his man along the way. -
Joy in August by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
30 Aug 2025
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"And so we rewrote the tradition a bit into something that would suit both of us much better. Jeeves tells his public he’s going one place, I tell my people I’m going another, and then we meet up at a third location known only to ourselves. Usually someplace nice and quiet, rather isolated from the rest of society, and with dashed good fishing."
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After getting together, Jeeves and Bertie start spending Jeeves's annual August holiday together. -
Jeeves on the High Seas by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
08 Aug 2025
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Aunt Dahlia invites Bertie and Jeeves on her yacht for a cruise through the Mediterranean. Hijinks and shenanigans ensue, involving some light teasing from an aunt, a rather rummy dream involving Bertie’s ex-fiancés forming a pirate crew, and being marooned on an island.
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The Valet Vanishes by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
26 Jul 2025
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“It’s Jeeves, you see. The fellow’s been disappearing on me like a rabbit out of a magician’s hat. And when I asked him about it last night, the chap said he’d been in the kitchen. He can’t be in the kitchen all the time, can he? I mean to say, why would anyone spend so long in the kitchen? What, I say, what, could keep a fellow there for hours and hours?”
Angela contemplated this for a moment, and what she came up with hit me upside the head with the force of a cricket bat at full swing. “Love?”
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When Jeeves keeps disappearing while on a visit to Brinkley Court, one B.W. Wooster is on the case to figure out what could be holding the fellow's attention. -
Jeeves and the Bearskin Rug by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
18 Jul 2025
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The first thing I noticed about the room was that there was a bally large bearskin rug right smack in the middle of it.
“Jeeves, there appears to be a bearskin rug in the middle of the room.”
“Indeed, sir."
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Bertie has a few fruity ideas involving a bearskin rug, and Jeeves has a few ideas of his own. -
I Just Went Jeeves all of a Sudden by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
26 Jun 2025
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When Bertie goes to see the film Bringing Up Baby, he buys one of the outfits from the film. Jeeves has some mixed feelings about this.
Or, Bertie buys a pink negligee and Jeeves can’t bring himself to throw it out.
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Bertie Wooster’s Guide to Picking Up Coves by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
12 Jun 2025
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"Now, Wooster, you might be thinking, it’s rather brazen to approach a fellow and suggest the sort of thing you’re about to suggest, it being the sort of thing that can land you two years of hard labor. Not to fear, dear reader. I’ve attempted this maneuver many times and I’ve polished it down to a science. It requires a certain amount of subtly, and that’s something this Wooster has in spades.
First, you start with something rather innocuous, a bit of the old ‘what ho, how are ye’ sort of babble, and from there you try to get a read on the fellow before jumping into the fruiter sorts of questions. It can be dashed difficult to tell if a chap might be one to enjoy a bit of Grecian wrestling, if you catch my meaning, and unless he’s carrying round a copy of Plato’s Symposium, I’ve found it best to start off easy and breezy."
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What if Bertie and Jeeves had met while Bertie was at Oxford, when they were both younger and dumber versions of themselves? What if Bertie had asked Jeeves out for a drink? And what does Bingo and an escaped budgie have to do with all this? -
Jeeves and the Swan Song by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
08 May 2025
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Jeeves returns from his annual holiday to find Bertie once more engaged and must contend with all sorts of unexpected situations, including a truly hideous car designed after a swan, his own burgeoning romantic feelings, and dramatic confessions inspired by throwing oneself into a lake.
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Jeeves and the Surprise Party by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990), Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
12 Apr 2025
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“Good morning, sir. I hope you had a pleasant birthday celebration yesterday at your club.”
“I should say so, Jeeves. Dashed lovely time with the old chums. Just as a birthday should be. Not an aunt or a filly in sight. But I have the strangest feeling I kissed someone last night.”
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In which Jeeves coordinates a surprise party for Bertie, and receives a little surprise himself.
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A Little Push by theoldbean
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
22 Mar 2025
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Merry Brandybuck would have been having a perfectly fine time at Bilbo’s eleventy-first birthday party, if not for one particular member of the company. Samwise Gamgee was sitting next to Merry, heaving one deep, yearning sigh after another as he watched Frodo dance. Merry had been watching Sam steal longing glances at Frodo all night, and frankly he was getting tired of it.
It was high time that someone gave the two lovebirds a push.
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A reimagining of Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday party, except this time Sam and Frodo kiss. -
Jeeves in the City of Love by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
15 Mar 2025
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Bertie and Jeeves go on a date in Paris. Shenanigans abound, including a trip to the Louvre, questionable art critique, flying vegetables, and Bertie attempting to cook.
Series
- Part 2 of in vino veritas
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in vino veritas by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
23 Feb 2025
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I stared up at Jeeves and found that I was at a loss for words. I felt that we really rather ought to discuss the topic at hand, but I’ll be dashed if I knew where to start. This sort of situation, by which I mean sharing a torrid night of passion with your valet whom you have previously only had a professional yet cordial relationship with, wasn’t exactly the sort of material they tend to cover in those etiquette books that are so popular nowadays.
-In which Bertie and Jeeves drink too much wine, end up in bed together, and have to figure out where to go from there.
Series
- Part 1 of in vino veritas
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On The Way Back Again by theoldbean
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
15 Feb 2025
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The peace and quiet of the Rivendell morning was shattered by the arrival of Merry and Pippin in Sam’s bedroom. The two hobbits burst through the door in a flurry of activity that seemed altogether unbefitting for the early hour.
“Now Sam, we don’t want to worry you, but Frodo’s gone missing.” Merry said.
“Who’s gone missing?” Frodo said blearily, sitting up from behind Sam.
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Bertie Wooster Skis it Through by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
27 Jan 2025
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Aunt Dahlia invites Bertie and Jeeves on a skiing holiday in the Alps. When Jeeves gets lost in the snow, it's up to Bertie to thaw the fellow out.
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Jeeves and the New Year's Spirit by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
07 Jan 2025
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Jeeves and Bertie seem doomed to spend their first New Year's Eve together as a couple apart. That is, until Bertie has a very important realization. But can he make it to Jeeves before the clock strikes midnight?
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Jeeves, Actually by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
26 Dec 2024
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Jeeves and Bertie sneak away from a Christmas party at Brinkley Court. Just a bit of holiday fluff involving a pilfered Christmas cracker.
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Jeeves and the Compromising Letter by theoldbean
Fandoms: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster (TV 1990)
16 Dec 2024
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Jeeves writes a love letter that was never intended to be read. When that letter mysteriously disappears, Jeeves enlists Bertie's help in retrieving it. Hijinks and long overdue confessions ensue.