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  1. Public Bookmark 8

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    Summary

    Any normal person would think he was insane for being on the brink of tears while brushing his teeth or taking a shower and just thinking about that made him feel like the most incompetent person in the world.

    -

    Or, Ilya experiences his first intense depressive episode since him and Shane got married.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,307
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    492

    23 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 43

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    “I said—” Shane clears his throat and straightens out his shoulders. He’ll probably say yes without thinking and go right back to his game. “What do you think about trying out some role play? You know, like— you’re a housekeeper, I’m a guest.” 

    The cogs in Ilya’s mind visibly appear to clock that the word role play left his husband’s lips— and he starts to laugh.

    Or: 5 times Shane comes up with role play ideas, and 1 time that Ilya has an idea of his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    3,800

    23 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 28

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    Summary

    Ilya didn’t sleep well in the off season. During the season his body was physically tired enough that he could manage to semi-keep a sleep schedule. Games and practices and travel typically do enough to keep his mind from racing, allowing him to sleep fitfully. But in the off season when there is nothing to do but dry land training and swimming in the lake, sleep eludes him.

    AKA I tried to write a soft insomnia fic and it ran away from me and got really sad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,694
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2,070

    13 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m sorry to hear that it has been getting worse, Ilya,” Galina said, a line between her brows. “Do you think something has…triggered your depressive feelings to get worse?”

    Ilya had wondered the same, had tried to track down the exact moment his brain had decided to slowly suffocate him to death, but he had no answer. It was like the question of which came first: the chicken or the egg. He didn’t know which came first; his depression or simply his awareness of it.

    He felt as if he had always had it—he just didn’t recognize it for what it was until he became aware of its name through the Irina Foundation’s work.

    “Isn’t it just genetic?” Ilya asked. “The trigger was my birth, I think.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,017
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    438
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    3,417

    13 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya felt one of those phantom pains, this one his hip, from himself at fifteen years old. He hadn’t been scared to fight back at that age. He even relished in it when Alexei or his father had been especially cruel. His older brother had accidentally shoved him into a wall during one of their games, his hip knocking into the hard edge of the doorframe. In return, Ilya threw Alexei into the couch so hard it broke. He’d gotten the belt for it while Alexei walked free.

    Or, a post-win celebration has Shane and Ilya in the locker room with their team, play-fighting, and Ilya accidentally bruises Shane's ribs. He hadn't even realized it, but he'd become exactly like his brother.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,841
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    800
    Bookmarks:
    116
    Hits:
    8,661

    13 Feb 2026