unidentifiedspoon
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Wine and Flowers by unidentifiedspoon
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Elder Scrolls
18 Apr 2015
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When a plague sweeping eastern Cyrodiil threatens to upset the delicate balance created in the wake of the Oblivion Crisis, the heroes that saved the world once before are sent to do it again. Take an ice-cold recalcitrant mage from a decimated noble house, an unyielding spellsword with a wit as sharp as her blade, and a quest to rescue lost souls from the very place they swore they would never return, things are bound to go wrong. Then they go even wronger.
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“There’s a leader—rank—board for d-dispatchers?” Waterboy blurts. Robert's lips tip upwards, an amused little smile.
“Of course there is,” he drawls. “What, did you think you guys were special? Corporate likes to look at numbers going up and down."
“What are you guys even judged on?” Prism asks. Robert raises a hand, counting on his fingers as he speaks.
“Team synergy, mission success rate, call completion efficiency, subscriber satisfaction…” his smile widens wryly. “Collateral damage.”
“Where are you in the rankings?” Unable to contain his curiosity, Sonar cuts back in. Robert levels him with a blank stare.
“You spent an hour mid-shift last Tuesday ‘powdering your nose’,” he deadpans. “Where do you think I am?”
The Z-Team finds out about Robert's continued lack of furniture, the upsetting state of his wallet, and the dispatching team's leaderboard. They hatch a plan. Robert suffers a normal amount.
Series
- Part 1 of property bothers
Bookmarked by unidentifiedspoon
31 Dec 2025
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The air to Robert’s left grows warm, then hot—a concentrated sunlight that finally forces him to glance up.
Flambae’s hovering over the catwalk now, still nothing but a silhouette of fire. No trace of flesh. No trace of bones. Even his eyes are consumed by flames, leading Robert to wonder about the reliability of the man’s vision. He is a floating fiery ghoul, by all accounts.
One who may or may not be able to see.
Even so, the sight is formidable. He’d be impressed—seeing the effect up close like this is different than seeing it through the Mecha Man suit—but the image of the man slipping on a puddle and breaking his tooth on the bar makes it difficult to be anything but vaguely amused.
“If you’re gonna throw me off, could you at least do it in your other form?” Robert asks listlessly. “I’d like to die without third-degree burns, if at all possible.”
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or; dispatch, but flambae is a romance option
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,860
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 941
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- 3,574
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- 825
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- 49,468
Bookmarked by unidentifiedspoon
31 Dec 2025
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A new villain with killer aim nearly takes Frank out, and he makes the call to go to Karen for help. Karen, who hasn't seen him in months, who has been wishing she could take back those words she said to him in the woods. She never thought she'd get the chance to repair what they both broke that night, so once he's back in her life, she's not going to let him disappear again so easily.
Series
- Part 1 of The Sinner and the Saint
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,500
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 150
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- 963
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- 220
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- 18,257
Bookmarked by unidentifiedspoon
24 Apr 2025
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“Miss Gandalf,” Thorin says, tiredly, because this is the third crime scene he’s come to this month where Phryne Gandalf had beaten him to it by a solid ten minutes. “To what do we owe this pleasure.”
Bookmarked by unidentifiedspoon
13 Jan 2025
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On the day before Ba Sing Se falls, Katara decides two things: 1) not to stop for a cup of tea; 2) consequently, the fate of the world.
Behind the walls, Zuko loses sleep, runs errands, contemplates treason, and drinks a lot of hot leaf juice—not necessarily in that order.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 159,933
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 1,907
- Kudos:
- 9,278
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- 3,188
- Hits:
- 187,786
Bookmarked by unidentifiedspoon
16 Dec 2024