Chapter Text
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Thorin appears out of nowhere (an annoying habit) and puts an arm across his nephew’s chest as Kili tiptoes (as much as a dwarf in boots can do such a thing) close to Bead’s bedroll.
"Nephew, you wouldn’t be bothering her with your attentions, would you?"
"Yes! No! I mean, it’s not bothering if it’s sincerely meant!"
"Kili." Thorin snatches the scrap of parchment out of his nephew’s hands.
"No, easy, you’ll tear it!" Thorin holds him off with one strong arm, until he makes an undignified sound and has to cover his mouth with his hand.
"Kili! You can’t give her this!"
"Why not?"
"What’s the ruckus?" Dwalin says, strolling casually away from the designated privy bushes. "That better not be pinched from Ori," he growls.
"No, he gave it to me fair and square, for some berries he wanted to try as ink."
Dwalin reads over Thorin’s shoulder and has to hide a guffaw in his king’s furs. “You can’t give her that!” he gasps, wiping tears from his eyes. ”Though I grant you, it’s a fine arse to any dwarf that has eyes, but we don’t know if her people….”
"Very true," Thorin agrees, "And for a first note, as I’m assuming this is…"
Kili nods glumly.
"For a first note it’s terribly intimate. You might say such things to a male, or some tavern maid used to rough talk, but to a female of gentle birth….." Thorin makes a frustrated noise. "Clearly I’ve neglected part of your education. You must keep your compliments on parts of her beauty that are unclothed like her…"
"I’d very much like to see her unclothed,” Kili nods earnestly, blushing. “Very much. But isn’t that even more inappropriate?”
"Let him finish, lad."
"Oh, right, sorry."
"I mean the parts of her visible with clothes on," Thorin says with aggrieved patience. "You must compliment her lovely eyes, that change with what she’s wearing. Have you noticed that?"
"Yeah, it’s brilliant."
"Or you could compliment her hair, which is like fine spun red gold, though it looks quite soft." Dwalin adds. "Or her laugh which isn’t like bells, no, far too low for that, hmm."
"She has a fine singing voice. And her laugh is like delightful...I can’t think of what it’s like, either," Thorin mused. "It's a good laugh." They think about it for a moment.
"I like that little snorting noise she makes when she’s trying not to laugh,” Kili offers. ”It’s adorable.” All three sigh.
"Her mouth is always red. Thought it was paint, but that’s just her," Dwalin says.
"Mmmm, yes. Lovely, though face her is bare. An exotic beauty," Thorin says appreciatively. "And she is an excellent cook, even with field rations."
Dwalin hums his agreement. ”Though I do like a bit of beard,” he says.
"We know what you like, Dwalin," Kili drawls, and immediately gets thumped by both elder dwarrow.
"I don’t miss the beard at all," Kili says stoutly. "She’s dead gorgeous."
"She’s going to be dead on her feet tomorrow if you darlings don’t stop talking,” Bead says mildly.
She’s met with three horrified stares.
"Miss Bead," Thorin recovers first with a half-bow.
"Miss Bade," Kili chimes in, the blood draining from his face.
"Bead," Dwalin rumbles fondly, and the other two males turn to boggle at him. (Though it must be said, Thorin’s boggle is a single raised eyebrow and slightly widened eyes.)
"Good evening to you," Bead says kindly, rising from her bedroll and tugging her bodice in place. All three dwarrow try valiantly not to stare at her cleavage. Only Dwalin succeeds. She plucks the parchment out of Thorin’s unresisting hands, and all three lurch forward, clearly wishing to take it back. Bead deftly sways out of reach.
"Hmm," she says, perusing it, a dimple appearing on one cheek as she smiles. "A surprisingly fine hand, for all the hard work the three of you have done in your lives. A bit…ahem…personal in some aspects, but I am rather proud of my sass, thank you for appreciating it. Without your…commentary, though, I’m afraid I would have found it much too personal and abrupt for further pursuit. Pity it isn’t signed.” She regards the those arrayed before her, fanning herself with the note.
"And don’t you three look like you’ve been caught with your hand in the biscuit jar?" She tilts her head to the side and gives them a wicked little smile. "Though of course, that sort of play would be far, far, down the path of courtship, if not marriage outright, depending on what your customs are.”
Thorin gulps, Fili whimpers, and Dwalin looks an awful lot like he’s been turned to stone, though with a very interested expression.
She saunters the three steps it takes to reach the trio, and beginning with Kili, gives each a short soft kiss. Dwalin has to be tapped on the arm twice, he’s still so stunned, before he bends down, and Thorin’s small gasp before her mouth touches his echos loudly in the darkness, though he does retain enough presence of mind - alone out of the three - to return her kiss.
"Whichever one of you it was," she says softly, blush clear in the flickering light of the fire. "Thank you very much. I’ve never had a love letter before, not even an extremely cheeky one like this, nor three gentledwarrow mull over my charms." She looks down shyly at her sleep mussed, furry toes and then back up to the three of them, blushing but quite serious, and speaks in a soft, warm voice. "There is one I favor, but I’d never voice it, never consider any suit, unless you three agree to no hard feelings. Wouldn’t want to cause any discord. I’d rather live with a lonely bed and three stalwart friends than come between you. So. Pleasant dreams, my dears." And with that, she folds the scrap of a note carefully, tucks it in her bodice, rolls up in a cozy little ball, and gives every appearance of falling back asleep.
"Did you see where she put…" Kili whispers, longing. "We left those out."
"Bits you can see, lad. Bits you can see. Too personal,” Dwalin hisses.
"Hmmm," Thorin says, one hand coming up to touch his lips.
"Dear ones, I can still hear you," a voice with laughter in it comes from Bead’s bedroll.
"Good night, Miss," Kili whispers loudly. "You’re brilliant."
"Pleasant dreams, fair one," Thorin adds, bowing again, and then frowning at himself for doing it when she can’t see.
"We’re all touched in the head," Dwalin grumbles. "But, um, sleep well, Bead."
One small hand rises from the bedroll and waves. The whole roll is also shaking suspiciously, and a small, adorable snort emerges. The trio tiptoe away as best they can.
"Well, thanks so much," Kili hisses at his elders. "For muddying the waters."
"You’re quite welcome," his uncle replies in a light voice, rocking on his heels cheerfully. It's disturbing. Thorin is never cheerful.
"Any time, lad, Any time," Dwalin agrees, clapping him on the shoulder hard enough to make the slighter dwarf stumble.
"When she said 'biscuit jar' she did mean what I thought she meant?"
"Mahal's beard, lad, don't remind me, of that or her baking skills," Dwalin growls, and bites his fist.
"Mmmmm," Thorin murmurs, his eyes closed, hand rubbing over his heart, as if it aches.
"You think she’d accept all three of us?" Kili asks with dreamy hope. He’s, again, thumped, but this time it’s a bit slower, as both his elders are lost to their own thoughts. Maybe they're considering it.
Kili trudges back to his bedroll.
"How’d it go?" Fili asks sleepily.
"I don’t know," he says mournfully. "I just don’t know. But she kissed me. On the mouth. Hers is really soft."
"Tha’ good!"
"And Uncle and Dwalin!"
"She what?" Fili is wide awake now. "She what?"
"Don’ want to talk about it," Kili says sulkily, and rolls up in his blanket.
"You can’t just tell me things like that and expect me to go back to sleep!"
"Yeah, I can."
Fili curses up at the stars.