Chapter Text
"You're a fucking nerd" The mullet boy slurred, head bobbing subconsciously to the nightclub beat.
"No! Am not" The tanned one opposite him defended, a look of shock taking over his face which maybe had a little too much highlight on for the disco scene.
They were both shitfaced.
"Yeah you are... got a freaking A on Spanish" He protested his point while taking a swig of whatever unholy concoction he'd picked up from the bar.
"I am Spanish, idiot" Highlight's laugh was riddled with hiccups.
"Oh yeah... haha" He reeled his head back and took in the sparkling patterns the lights were making on the ceiling. "You're the idiot... bad grades"
"At least I have an A" Highlight jabbed his accuser's arm.
Before their argument could develop anymore, a rather tall, muscular man intervened. He had a distinguished tuft of white hair accompanied by eyeliner that was flicked with a level of precision that just screamed professional.
"You guys are wasted" Eyeliner stated matter-of-factly to no avail, their eyes were vacant. "I'm surprised you're not all over each other like last time"
That comment earned their attention.
"Was not!" Mullet screeched and slid from his chair at the bar, assuming a battle stance. Or at least, he tried to. He ended up wavering a little before slumping into Eyeliner's arms.
Highlight giggled, reflecting on their last visit to the nightclub. "That was fuuuuuuunnnn... no homo though"
"No homo" Mullet raised his hand as he spoke but remained buried in Eyeliner's chest, too drunk to make any effort to move.
"I don't know, that sounds pretty homo to me" A small figure peered at the scene from behind Eyeliner.
"PIDGE!" Eyeliner and a second voice a little ways away both exclaimed in unison.
"What? I haven't actually drunk anything so it's technically not illegal for me to be here" Pidge explained as if their presence was completely normal.
"I...I am so sorry... I... I tried to... stop them" A large guy donning an orange bandana bustled over to them, panting heavily.
"Haha Pidge you're so... funny" Highlight said, taking a worrying amount of time to find the adjective he was looking for.
"And you're very bright, Lance" Pidge responded, pointedly shielding their eyes.
"Hell yeah I am!" Lance exclaimed, jumping from his bar stool, unsuccessfully. He landed face first onto the floor with an audible crunch. Everyone present, aside from mullet who had been unconscious for a solid minute by now, winced at the impact.
"Pidge... we'll deal with you later" Eyeliner began.
"Okay dad" Pidge jeered in return.
"And Hunk" Eyeliner ignored the comment, turning his attention to the man recovering from his run. "Could you carry Lance for me? My hands are full"
"Yeah.. sure... just gimme a second" Hunk placed a hand on the bar and vomited soon after.
"How far did you make him run?" Eyeliner asked Pidge with a disappointed look.
"Not too far Shiro, I took his moped and always kept in his sight so maybe twenty minutes?" Pidge estimated, guarding their glasses against the blaring nightclub lights as they did so.
"Hunk, you're a legend" Shiro said simply and hoisted the unconscious mullet boy onto his shoulder, earning a few surprised looks from the more sober fraction of the crowd.
-_-_-
"He is going to be so pissed when he wakes up" Pidge giggled, they were curled up between Hunk and Shiro as the three watched a random chick flick on Netflix. Something about a "fuck boy" as Pidge had labelled the main character.
"Yes... yes he is" Shiro agreed with an exasperated sigh.
"Shiro, what are we going to do? He's got a date in two days. Two days at 10 am in the morning!" Hunk gripped Shiro's arm, bridging over Pidge.
"I uh... how do you know that?" Shiro responded, raising an eyebrow.
"It's on the google calendar" Pidge informed him before throwing a popcorn kernel over Hunk's arm and into their mouth. "Sometimes it sucks sharing a computer"
"Or it's great because I know when everything is happening and oh my god is the search history interesting!" Hunk practically shrieked with glee.
"Yeah, I know right! "How to accept being gay" on wikihow was my favourite" Pidge chimed in, causing a certain revelation to wash over Shiro.
"I should check that more often"
"Does that mean it is or isn't you?" Pidge inquired, a sneaky smile spreading across their face, barely lit by the TV's glow due to their burrito covering.
"Pidge, come on, your brother is my boyfriend" Shiro replied, feigning a look of hurt.
"So that means it's either Keith or Lance" Hunk beamed deviously.
But before their conspiracies could develop any further, they were interrupted by Lance. More specifically, Lance's screaming.
"OH MY GOD OGH MY GA AH!"
The man burst into the room, a look of pure terror on his now deathly pale face, pointing enthusiastically in the general direction of his nose. Shiro swore he looked as though he was about to faint.
"My face! My beautiful face!" He whispered in disbelief, clasping his hands around said face.
"Don't cry Lance, you're still wearing mascara and that'll just make things worse when you next look in the mirror" Shiro instructed, he didn't look all that overwhelmed by the event. Neither did anyone present aside from Lance. Simply because, well, the cause of his miseries was quite pathetic.
A plaster was stuck to the bridge of his nose.
Underneath that?
A bit of bruising.
"How can I NOT cry?" He wailed and grabbed the door frame for support. "This is terrible!"
"Shut up, Fuck boy is getting roasted on the TV" Pidge interjected.
"I don't give a fuck about fuck boy!"
"Oi, I heard that!" Keith's voice could be heard in the distance.
"I wasn't on about you!" Lance shouted at the ceiling. "My life is ruined" He returned his attention to his current situation and slumped to the ground at a slow pace for dramatic effect, conveying his apparent defeat.
Shiro sighed and pinched his nose in his own disbelief at his melodramatic roommate. "Lance, if you slap on some foundation as per usual, no one will notice"
"I can't wear foundation to my date with Nyma! It's not manly!" Lance replied, hand on his chest, acting as though Shiro had just suggested that he use his own mother's tears as toner.
"Oh my god Lance, you're the most enabled and feminine guy I know! What happened to breaking boundaries?" Pidge popped up from between Shiro and Hunk, still somehow tightly bundled in covers yet moving efficiently.
"I met Nyma on a morning shift..." Lance admitted, dismally.
"Ohh..." Hunk brought a hand to his mouth and played along with Lance's exaggerated attitude.
"She probably thinks I'm a normal dude... also I'm apparently a gym lad" He continued, digging himself deeper into a hole with every word.
"Lance, I am a gym lad and I wear eyeliner with light BB cream" Shiro confided.
"Yeah but you're bi" Lance argued and studied his glossed nails. "It's weird for straight guys like me to go around with on fleek eyebrows and knife sharp contours"
Hunk and Pidge scoffed, openly.
"What?" Lance asked, his tone defensive.
"Lance, don't be silly. Not only gay guys wear makeup" Shiro saved the conversation before Hunk and Pidge's secret was out.
"Yeah, I know, but people just presume I'm gay because of the makeup. I only got Nyma because I never wear it to morning shifts because I don't have the time for a full do. Go big or go home" Lance added finger guns and a wink to the end of his sentence. Shiro physically flinched.
"Okay well, I'm not going to lie, society is messed up, but do you really want a girl who can't accept you for who you are?" Shiro raised his eyebrows and looked at Lance squarely in the eyes.
"...No" Lance gave in and Shiro smiled empathetically. "But I want a girl!" Shiro's smile was promptly wiped from his face as Lance slammed the door and went on to weep in his room.
"As much as I don't like it when stereotypes are conformed to, I really hope he comes out as gay" Hunk whispered to Shiro who was unsure why hushed tones were being used but went along with it. "Same"
"AWWW HELL YEAH, Fuck Boy got fucked!" Pidge yelled abruptly.
"What the fuck are you guys watching down there?!" Keith's distant voice could be heard again.
"Umm... what are we watching Pidge?" Hunk asked quietly. At this, Shiro turned his attention to the TV. Almost simultaneously, he swiped the remote from Pidge and turned the screen off.