Chapter Text
This entire kissing booth setup was incredibly ridiculous. Edd didn't even know where to start, but he decided against commenting on it. Sometimes it was better to just let his best friend learn the hard way. Luckily, he had a pretty good diversion!
“Erm, while we're waiting...” Edd stated as he opened his messenger bag and reached into it. He pulled out a pile of cards, all neatly tied with a piece of string. “I've got a little something here for you!”
With a flourish, he untied the cards and took one of them from the pile. A set he had made over the past week in preparation for this day. Upon careful inspection that it was the correct card, Edd then smiled and held it up to Ed's face.
“Happy Valentine's Day, Ed!”
Ed smiled, taking the card and looking it over. “Nap time already?”
Going over to the silly booth, Edd selected the card that was right on top of the pile. Namely, his favourite, but he wasn't about to reveal his bias about that. “Eddy.” he said sweetly, holding the card out to his friend.
Taking it, Eddy looked at it incredulously. “'You electrify me'? Who the heck's this guy?” He wanted to know, holding the card and pointing at the face of the man on the front.
“Nikola Tesla, Eddy!” Said a very undeterred Edd, smiling brightly. “It's part of my Great Minds of Science Valentine's cards series!”
Ed, who had made his way over to the booth as well, smiled and held his card up. “It has a mind, Eddy!”
Eddy looked at them weirdly for a moment, before turning his attention back to Edd. “Ain't ya supposed to give these things to girls?”
With his smile falling, Edd just sighed and shook his head. “Well, not entirely. Valentine's Day can even extend to one's social group as well, if they choose.”
Snorting, Eddy just placed it aside. “Whatever! You're wastin' your time, Double D. Just go give some to the girls or somethin', I don't need this mushy junk!”
Although Edd somehow expected this reaction, it didn't make the sting of hurt any less impactful. Still, he put on a fake smile and gave a shrug. “Oh well, if that's how you feel. I'd best be getting to class! See you two there.”
With that, he turned and walked away, trying to mask his disappointment. Already he could hear Eddy snickering about something from behind him. More than likely over what a “sucker” or a “mushy wimp” he was.
“Oh, what a fool I was to think he'd accept it...” Edd sighed sadly, looking down at the remaining cards he had. At least he could hope that the rest of his peers would accept them.
It was just hard when the one person he wanted to give one to just... didn't care.
Back at the kissing booth, Eddy was sharing a laugh with Ed, namely over the Valentine's Card. It was to be expected, Edd always handed out cards to his friends every year. But somehow, this year seemed to take a whole new interesting level with the creative self-made cards.
“Man, what's this even mean? That I electrocute him or somethin'?” Eddy laughed, shaking his head. “'Oh Eddy, thank you for the live wires!'” He then mimicked being electrocuted, bouncing and making the noises through his mouth.
“Electrify, Eddy!” Ed corrected him with a smile. “Electrocute is when you are electrified to death!”
Eddy snorted and gave him a look, “Since when did you get all smart? I don't need a Double D 2.0, thank you very much!”
Giggling, Ed just skipped over to his locker so he could carefully place his card inside. While he did so, Eddy looked down at the card Edd had given him. As silly as it was, he couldn't deny the sentiment deep down. Exhaling, he took the card and turned around so he could put it away in his locker.
“Least someone gave me one...” Eddy muttered to himself. “Course it had to be Double D... he's always findin' ways to stir me up. What a sap.”
A small smile overcame his face, hopefully unseen to Ed, as he put the card into one of his binders.
“But I wouldn't have him any other way,” Eddy chuckled, reaching for his books.
Right then, he felt a strange pinch around his backside, which wasn't hugely painful, but it did take him by surprise. Eddy stiffened and jumped from the sensation before he felt a surge of energy! Spinning around vigorously, to which he then smiled dreamily and relaxed.
“Ooohh... Is it warm in here?” Eddy murmured softly, grinning. He looked at the kissing booth, then laughed before pushing it away. “Who needs this... I've already got a Valentine...”
“Eddy?” Ed came over, looking at him with concern. “Why are you talking to yourself?”
“Mm?” Eddy looked up at him with a smile, then giggled. “Oh hello, Ed! Did you see where Double D went? I miss him.”
Ed blinked, wide-eyed. “Miss him? But Eddy, he was just here!”
“And now he's gone,” Eddy giggled, closing his locker door. “Science class... That's his favourite.”
Practically floating, Eddy skipped down the hallway, holding his books tightly to his chest. Ed followed him, scratching his head and looking concerned. Something about this situation wasn't right at all.
--
In class, Edd was hunched over his lab table, writing some notes as he went about the procedures of the assignment. At least his mind was taken off what had happened earlier, for the most part. He was able to concentrate on his work, much to his relief. So far so good, despite the minor setback.
Right then, he felt a strange sensation come over him. He was being watched. In fact, was there something at the corner of his eye? Edd raised his gaze from his notes and looked to his left. Letting out a yelp of surprise, he clutched his chest and took full notice of Eddy there. But most especially, at the look on his face.
“E-Eddy! Goodness, you startled me! Be careful, I could have spilled these chemicals!” Edd exclaimed, taking a few breaths.
“Awww, you're so cute when you get all startled,” Eddy giggled, grinning at him. He leaned his head on one hand, smiling dreamily. “What'cha doin'?”
“Ah... I'm... erm... doing.... the assignment?” Edd stammered, blinking. His cheeks turned a bit pink. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Better now that you're here.” Eddy said sweetly, scooting closer to him.
“I... erm... what? Eddy... what's gotten into you?” Edd wanted to know, taking a step back.
Eddy laughed a bit and came closer yet again, “Oh, I'll tell ya what's gotten into me. You! You got into my heart.”
Hesitating, Edd took another step back, feeling his heart race and his stomach churn. “Ah... Eddy I... I've never seen this side of you! Erm, if you're trying to prank me... it's not quite working!”
“Pranking? Me?” Eddy looked at him with shock. “No way! I just wanted to know if you'd be my Valentine, Double D~!”
“V-Valentine?!” Edd exclaimed with shock, wide-eyed. “But Eddy, I'm not a girl!”
Eddy laughed and came closer to him again, just gazing at him with that bright smile. He spared a glance downward for a second. “I know that, silly!”
“Then why are you doing this?! If if this your idea of a joke, it isn't funny!” Edd exclaimed, putting his hands on Eddy's shoulders to push him back. “Please control yourself! We can discuss this later!”
“How can I control myself when I've got the cutest boy around?” Eddy cooed, batting his very long eyelashes. He looked at Edd's outstretched arms and smiled sweetly. “Awww Double D, if you wanted a hug, all ya had to do was ask!”
“Eddyyyyy!” Ed cried as he came running into the classroom. He grabbed Eddy around the waist, trying to pull him away from Edd. “This is wrong! It is not how it's supposed to go!”
Eddy just giggled and tried to wiggle away. “Come on, Ed! Let me go! Double D wants a hug and I have to give it to him!”
“Nuh-uh, you are on time out, mister!” Ed declared as he walked away, carrying Eddy under his arm like a football.
“Bye, babe!” Eddy waved, then blew a kiss at Edd.
All Edd could do was stare after his friends, completely dumbfounded. He shuddered, then looked back down at his notes, trying to re-focus. Taking a few deep breaths, he closed his eyes, trying to push what had just happened out of his mind. It certainly didn't help that many upon many conflicting feelings were surging.
“Come on now, Eddward... work work work... I truly should just-”
A stinging, pinching pain suddenly struck his backside, making him jump. The pain immediately subsided, to which he was then filled with immense happiness and so much love. Letting out a happy, amorous sigh, the pencil fell from his hand as he felt as though he were floating on thin air.
“Now where did my little turtledove go?” Edd murmured, his smile growing. “I believe we have much to discuss...”
Later on after class, Rolf, Kevin and Nazz were currently rifling through their lockers. Neither of them saw Eddy happily skipping by in a flamboyant manner. However, Rolf could immediately sense and feel something very disturbing and familiar in the air. It made his hair stand up on end as he realized just what was going on.
“Again?!” Rolf exclaimed, standing up straight. “These mountain imps taunt Rolf no more!”
Kevin looked at him weirdly, “Dude, what's with you?”
“Rolf must seek out the meddlesome mountain imps!” Rolf declared as if not hearing him. He slammed his locker shut and proceeded to walk away.
Blinking, Nazz stared after him for a moment, completely confused. “Kev, what just happened? Is he feeling okay?”
“Beats me,” Kevin shrugged, taking his gym bag out of his locker. “I think he's just outta whack again.”
Nazz frowned a bit, biting her lip, “I don't know... He seemed genuinely upset about something. Maybe we should go and see if we can help him out.”
“It's gonna have to wait 'till after gym class, babe,” Kevin said with a shrug, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder. “You gotta play badminton with the girls and I gotta make the guys climb the rope.”
“Ohhh, right!” Nazz recalled, then giggled. “Thanks for reminding me, Kev.”
“Anytime,” Kevin smiled, bringing an arm around her shoulder. “C'mon, I'll walk ya to the locker room.”
Meanwhile, around the hallway, Edd was happily prancing to his locker, wearing a huge smile. In fact, he hadn't shifted his facial features for the past hour. And why would he? He felt so happy. Once he came to his locker, he reached out to the combination lock, only to spot something up above.
His smile grew even wider as he spotted a piece of paper with some redness on it pocking out from the locker vent. Reaching up, he took the paper out, coming to find that it was a Valentine! A huge red heart was drawn on one side, while the other contained some writing.
“To my super smart Sockhead, you will always be my Valentine. I love you! Love, Eddy...” Edd murmured as he read off the Valentine. “Aaaahh.... oooh, my love... To whence we meet again!”
“Hiya, Double D!” Came a voice from next to him.
Although the voice was frighteningly familiar, it didn't deter Edd in the slightest. He turned, looking to see May Kanker standing near him. “Why hello, May.”
“Have you seen Ed anywhere? I want to give him a Valentine, 'cause he's the best boyfriend ever!” May smiled, holding out a heart-shaped card. “See? I made it myself!”
“Mm-hmm... that's lovely, May... But I have to find Eddy first...” Edd said softly, sighing happily.
May blinked, raising an eyebrow. “Uh... are you feeling okay?”
“Me? Why I'm feeling wonderful, my good lady. Thank you for asking. Now then, I must be off! My Valentine awaits!” Edd giggled, then opened his locker, pulled out his gym bag, and closed it again. All the while calling out, “Eddyyyyyy! Where are you, my little trickster? Come out come out wherever you are, turtledove!”
May stared after him as he pranced off, to which she scratched her head. “What's with him? He's actin' kinda weird...” She shrugged it off, then proceeded to walk off in the other direction.
At least, until what had happened sunk in.
“Wait a second! Eddy? Valentine? ...Turtledove?” May turned around just in time to see Edd disappear around a corner. “Oh no! I gotta warn Lee and Marie!” Placing Ed's Valentine in her pocket for safe keeping, she took off into a run down the hallway.
Gym class was finally in full swing. So far, everything seemed to be as normal as possible. Jonny was being as silly and weird as always, trying to get Kevin's attention. Jimmy was doing stretches and prepping himself for the upcoming activity. Ed, however, was worried as he could be as he stood between his two friends. Both Eddy and Edd were staring dreamily at each other, not at all paying attention to their surroundings.
“Hey! Dorky! Pay attention, will ya?!” Kevin half-shouted, waving a hand in Eddy's face. “I said it's your turn, idiot!”
“What?” Eddy said intelligently, not looking at Kevin.
“I said, it's your turn to climb the rope!” Kevin repeated. “I know you're a dork, but you're not deaf!”
Eddy finally looked at him, the dreamy smile never leaving his face. “What?”
“I said, climb the rope!”
There was silence.
“...What?”
“I said-Oh, forget it!” Kevin growled, turning around and heading over to the rope. He grabbed it and threw it right at Eddy's face, to which the boy in question didn't even move, or respond.
“Ouch,” Eddy said in the same dreamy tone as earlier. “Oh look, a rope! Double D, watch me! Watch me! I'm gonna climb it!”
“Oh, good luck, my turtledove!” Edd cooed sweetly, waving at him. “I know you can succeed! Try your hardest!”
Clutching the rope, Eddy winked and then blew a kiss at Edd. He then proceeded to climb the rope as best he could, despite the groans and grunts.
Jonny, Kevin and Jimmy all gaped before exchanging glances of bafflement mixed with disgust.
“What the heck was that?” Kevin uttered, shuddering.
“I don't even think Plank knows!” Jonny put in, shaking his head.
“I always knew there was something between them...” Jimmy admitted. “But this was too much!”
Ed shuddered, clutching at his head nervously. “Something is so very wrong, you guys! They are not themselves!”
Edd just watched fondly as Eddy continued climbing the rope. He giggled and skipped over to the mat, holding the base of the rope. “You can do it, Eddy! I'm here for you, my turtledove!”
“For you, babe... I'll climb mountains!” Eddy called back down to him amidst his grunts. “Almost...! Ha! I did it! I'm gonna-WHOA!”
All at once, he lost his grip and went sliding back down the rope, clutching at it tightly. This only served to make it more painful. However, due to his lovesick daze, he barely even noticed what was going on when the initial shock wore off. He landed back on the mat, his hands bright red with rope burn, but it didn't seem to be fazing him at all.
“Ouch.” Was all he said, staring dreamily at the ceiling.
“Oh no! Eddy fell down!” Ed cried, rushing over to his friend's side.
“EDDY!” Edd screeched in horror, running over as well and placing his hands on his chest. “Eddy, my dearest turtledove! Speak to me! Are you all right?”
Eddy blinked, looking up at Edd, to which his smile grew. “Just lookin' at you makes me feel better.”
“Oh, thank heavens!” Edd exclaimed with relief. He took Eddy's hands in his own, gazing down at him lovingly. “You had me ever so worried! But fear not, my turtledove, I'll be at your side to mend all your wounds!”
“Aww... you're so adorable, I could eat you up.” Eddy giggled, grinning at him and closing his fingers around Edd's thumbs.
“Mmm... bon appetit, my love... I'm already basted and ready to serve,” Edd cooed, leaning downward and nuzzling their noses.
Kevin and Jonny looked on with absolute confusion, even mild disgust, while Jimmy was wide-eyed with amazement. Ed looked concerned, as if he were about to panic any second.
Meanwhile, over on the girls' side, the Kankers were looking on in shock, as was Nazz. Getting over the initial shock, Nazz put her racket down and hurried over to the scene, wide-eyed.
“Guys, is everything okay? What happened?” She asked neither of them in particular.
“Eddy fell and... this happened,” Kevin explained, pointing to the two boys as canoodled on the mat.
Jonny blinked, then looked at Plank. “What do you mean Jimmy isn't supposed to be here?! He's right there!”
“I too am confuzzled,” Jimmy admitted, “But their behaviour is very reminiscent of being incredibly lovesick.”
Looking down at the lovesick pair, Nazz frowned in confusion. “This makes no sense... Why are they acting this way?”
“Beats the heck outta me,” Kevin said with a shudder. “It's pretty gross.”
Over where the Kankers stood, both Lee and Marie were still staring with their jaws agape. Even May, who looked between her sisters and the scene, wasn't at all sure of what to say.
“Our boyfriends... they're...” Lee began.
“They're being gay together!” Marie finished, uttering a noise of despair. “The rumours were true!”
“I don't know how I feel about this,” Lee muttered crossly. “Don't think I like it.”
May bit her lip, scratching her back with her racket. “I don't know, somethin' about this feels kind of weird, guys.”
“Oh, who asked you?” Marie snarked, giving her a look.
“No, I'm serious!” May protested, pointing to the boys. “They're not actin' like themselves! I ran into Double D earlier and he was acting... I don't know, like he was on cloud nine or something!”
Lee pondered for a few moments, then lifted up her hair to expose her eyes and get a better look at the scene. “I'm not likin' this.... we're gonna have to do somethin' about it.”
May bit her lip with uncertainty. She didn't want her sisters to be unhappy, but there was just something so...interesting about the display. Her gaze fell on Ed, which brought on a smile, until she saw how worried he looked. Something wasn't right.
Back over with the boys, plus Nazz, they were still observing the strange spectacle. Especially since it seemd as though neither Edd or Eddy seemed to notice they were there.
“You poor thing...” Edd cooed, taking Eddy's hands and kissing the palms, “Oh, I'll make sure your hands are all better!”
“I'll just call you Doctor Double D...” Eddy murmured dreamily, blinking his eyelashes.
“In that case, I'd better give you a thorough examination,” Edd said sweetly, nuzzling Eddy's hand.
“Will you give me a lollipop?” Eddy said flirtatiously, giggling.
“Anything for my favourite patient.”
“Eeeuugh!” Kevin made a face, taking a step back. “What is wrong with you dorks? This isn't like you!”
Nazz looked at Kevin, then at the two canoodling boys, then exhaled. “I... have to agree, Kevin. Something isn't right about this.”
“Plank says they must've been eating some mushrooms. I don't know what he meant by that... But the cafeteria's mushrooms are pretty putrid!” Jonny said, making a disgusted face.
“Something has taken over my friends!” Ed exclaimed worriedly, flailing his arms. “Eddy! Double D!”
The two in question looked at Ed, still smiling dreamily. “Yes?” They both said in unison.
“You're both acting crazy!” Ed wailed.
“Crazy in love,” Edd purred, turning his attention back to Eddy.
“You better send me to the insane asylum.” Eddy snickered.
“And I'd best go with you, for I too am certifiably insane!”
“Put me in a straitjacket!”
“We'll wear the same straitjacket!”
“So that we'll be huggin' forever!”
“Forever is never enough!”
Kevin looked amidst the others, “Are they seriously ignoring us?”
“Since when did they talk like this?” Nazz wanted to know.
“These are not the same!” Ed uttered in despair, hanging his head. “They must have been possessed.”
“Can you guys get a room? Plank is saying weird things that I really shouldn't repeat.” Jonny said nervously. He glared at Plank angrily, “No Plank, I'm not gonna tell them that! We're not ready for that stuff yet!”
“Do me a favour and please fetch me the latest piles of newspapers, love?”
“I'm on it, babe!”
“Oh, thank you so much, turtledove!”
“Anything for you, honey!”
Ed watched with dismay as he looked back and forth between Edd and Eddy while they worked on the school newspaper. Even though they were hard at work with it, none of it stopped the two lovebirds from being sickeningly sweethearts. Possibly moreso than earlier, but even Ed couldn't tell.
“Here you go!” Eddy said cheerfully as he placed a pile of newspapers into Edd's waiting hands. “Neatly pressed and ready to be delivered! Need anything else while I'm up, babe?”
Practically tossing the newspapers aside (Ed managed to catch them), Edd just grabbed Eddy into a passionate embrace. “Just you, my love...”
“Well, you got me, cutie,” Eddy giggled, returning the embrace. “I wanna wear your hat...”
“Oh, do you?” Edd giggled, then took off his hat and placed it onto Eddy's head. Completely exposing his head for all to see. Or at least, just those in the room. “There you go! You can wear my hat, turtledove!”
“AH!” Ed screeched in horror, jumping back. “Double D! You cannot give him your hat!”
“Why ever not, Ed?” Edd said obliviously, not looking at him.
Looking around frantically, Ed grabbed the press hat and hurried over, placing it frantically onto Edd's head. “You keep your head covered at all times, Double D! You would never just take off your hat like that!”
“No? Not even for my little sweetheart? Aww... well that isn't fair,” Edd giggled, nuzzling his hat that was now on Eddy's head, “Oh, but this is lovely!”
“I feel so warm...” Eddy murmured dreamily. “You feelin' it too?”
“I do,” Edd giggled, sighing happily. “I can't remember the last time we hugged like this.”
“I can't remember the last time I loved you so much!” Eddy laughed, nuzzling noses with him.
Edd squeed and nuzzled noses right back. “Oh, turtledove... how did you get so sweet?”
“When I was born, my mom dunked me into a barrel of sugar!”
“I will endure any cavity filling at the dentist if it means we'll be together...”
“I'll hold your hand the whole time, honey!”
“Please do, my dearest! No pain is ever going to surpass the depth of my appreciation and love for you!”
Once more the two of them giggled, nuzzled noses, and just stared lovingly into each other's eyes. Completely deaf and blind to everything around them. All Ed could do was observe sadly as he loaded the newspapers into the messenger bag. Try as he may to get their attention, they just didn't seem to care.
“Ed! Ed, I have an idea!” Eddy suddenly said, sounding very excited. He was now holding up the school newspaper's issued camera. “You should get a picture of us!”
“Ohhhh Eddy, that's school property! We can't possibly use it for personal use!” Edd giggled with delight, grinning.
“Darling, you always said that true love has no rules, right?” Eddy grinned, handing the camera to Ed.
“Oooohh! You remembered!” Edd squealed excitedly, floating on the spot. Somehow. “Love knows no bounds! It is an impetuous force that of which the greatest of philosophers cannot comprehend!”
“Your voice is music to my ears, babe...” Eddy said dreamily, taking Edd's hands, “Like the most beautiful instrument ever played!”
“As I look deep into your baby blue eyes, I see that they are twin pools of beauty I wish I could swim in...” Edd cooed, reaching up to touch his face.
“And your eyes are like soft patches of grass I could totally lie on, preferably with you right by my side,” Eddy giggled.
“Uh, guys?” Ed spoke up, unable to even crack a smile. “I have to take your picture.”
Eddy grinned, then nodded. “Yes! Right here, be sure to get our good sides! This is our epic love photo!”
“I can hardly wait to gaze upon a captured image of our love!” Edd said excitedly, turning to face Edd and bringing his arm around Eddy's shoulder.
Doing the same, Eddy pulled Edd closer. “Go for it, Ed!”
Sighing, Ed held up the camera and aimed it at them. “Say cheese.”
“Cheese!”
“Love!”
Right at the last second, before Ed pushed the button, Eddy turned to Edd and kissed him on the cheek. The camera flashed, then the photo printed out of the front. Eager, Edd rushed over and took the photo, giving it a shake.
“Lemme see! Lemme see!” Eddy eagerly came up next to Edd, clinging to his arm. “I gotta see your cute face!”
“Awww...” Edd giggled, then held the photo up. “How wonderful! It captured you so perfectly, turtledove...”
“Not as perfectly as it captured you, babe...” Eddy purred, taking the photo and tucking it away in his pocket. “But I'd rather look at the real Double D.”
“Just as I would rather gaze upon the real you....” Edd smiled all the more, taking Eddy's hands in his own.
Ed continued staring at the two, then put the camera down. He wanted to say something, but he was slowly losing any train of thought he may have had. This entire situation made no sense, even to him!
Before he could ponder it further, there was a knock at the door. Ed looked over at it, then at his friends, seeing that they were still interlocked in their embrace. Like they didn't even hear it.
“You want me to get that?” Ed dared ask, looking at them with a deadpan expression.
“If you don't mind,” Edd said absently.
Ed looked at them despairingly, then went over to the door and opened it. To May Kanker. Much to his absolute horror. He froze in place for a few seconds, his heart practically fell, and his brain turned to mush.
At least until he finally found the strength to react.
“KANKER!!!” Ed screamed, trying to close the door, but May blocked it with her foot.
“Ed! Ed, wait! Please!” May begged, sounding desperate.
“KANKER AT THE DOOR!” Ed shouted to his friends, who didn't even seem to notice. “Guys! Kanker at the door!”
“Uh-huh, sure thing, Ed.” Eddy replied, not even looking away from Edd.
“That's nice, Ed.” Edd murmured.
“You guys!” Ed pleaded, still trying to hold the door closed. “If there is one Kanker, the other two will follow!”
May struggled to push the door open, “No, you've got it all wrong! It's just me! My sisters don't even know I'm here! Please just let me in! I want to talk to you, Ed!”
“Mushy icky girl! No way!” Ed wailed, shaking his head rapidly.
“I have gravy, Ed! Please!” May pleaded, whimpering. “I just need to talk to you!”
The very second that Ed heard his favourite food, he paused, and considered. Looking down at her foot, he then peeked out through the crack. May was visible, looking at him with a genuine pleading expression. Nothing about what she was saying came off as insincere.
Narrowing his eye slightly, he said, “...Show me the gravy.”
May nodded, then held up an open thermos. “Right here!”
Ed blinked, then sniffed the concoction, and could immediately tell it was gravy. “Hmmm... a good brand! Very rich in taste and flavour...” He stuck his finger into the thermos, pulled it back out, and licked the hot substance. “Mmmm... very tasty... Mm!”
“I-I made sure to get a good one, Ed!” May said with a sheepish laugh, “Can I come in, please?”
Peeking at her through the door, Ed sighed, took the thermos, and then opened the door. “You may enter, but your sisters cannot!”
“Don't worry, they won't!” May assured, looking a bit nervous. She glanced both ways down the hall, then behind her, and came into the room. “Quick, close the door! We can't let them find us!”
Ed closed the door right away, and then poured some of the gravy into the thermos cup. May looked around the room, then over at the two lovesick boys, who were still whispering sweet nothings to each other.
“Are they still acting like that?” May whispered behind her hand.
Looking sad, Ed nodded before sipping the gravy. “They have been at it all morning.”
“Wow... Lee and Marie are really upset and confused,” May said, shaking her head. “Their boyfriends aren't after other girls... but each other.”
Although Ed would have spoken further about this subject matter, he had a feeling it was probably not the best idea. At least for now. He sipped the gravy again, “There's something else going on, it's making them crazy.”
May looked at him with wonder, then nodded emphatically, “Yeah! I thought so too! I mean, uh, I don't know them like you do... Or like my sisters claim to, but I had a feeling that they weren't all there! Like, I don't remember Eddy talking like that! Double D maybe, but I don't know...”
Ed had to admit, this was a little more astute than he realized. It made him smile a bit. “Perhaps it will require further investigation, if even you noticed it too!”
“I guess so, but how?” May asked, biting her lip. “I mean, this isn't something we can just pick up a book and read about!”
Before Ed could answer, there was yet another knock at the door. Both he and May looked at the door, then at one another.
“Were you expecting anyone?” May asked.
Ed shook his head. “Nope! I just have to go out there and deliver papers.”
“Maybe we should... get the door,” May looked over her shoulder at the lovesick pair.
Ed put his hand on the knob and opened it, which revealed to be Rolf.
“Rolf hears your pleas for help...” Rolf whispered mysteriously. “Follow Rolf! He will explain it all!”
“But what about them?” Ed pointed at his friends.
“Leave them! It is far too late... They have gone down farther than Rolf even expected!” Rolf hissed. “Come! No time will be wasted!”
Exchanging glances, Ed and May then looked over toward Edd and Eddy, who were of course, still lost in each other. So they shrugged and quietly slipped out of the room after Rolf. Once they were down the hallway, it was May who broke the silence.
“So, like, what happened to them? Do you know what's going on?” May asked.
“Rolf knows of this situation, Kanker Dame,” Rolf said with a resigned sigh. “It is the work of the mountain imps, far beyond the old country.”
“Mountain imps?” Ed repeated curiously. “So they're not possessed by mutant space aliens trying to understand how our species reproduce?”
May snickered at that. “Oh, just like in Galaxy Defenders number twenty-two when Rick and the crew come across the Algorians from planet Hexalot!”
Ed's eyes bulged as he looked at May with shock. Did he really just hear that correctly? “You... You read Galaxy Defenders?!”
“Yeah, I do!” May grinned widely. “Oh yeah, you really like comics too, don't ya?”
“I... I...” Ed was stunned, sweater slightly. “...I do like comic books...”
“SILENCE!” Rolf interjected, startling them both. “No time for tomfoolery, Big-Tall-Dim-Brained Ed boy and Kanker Dame! As Rolf was saying... There exist fabled mountain imps, unseen to the eyes of humans! They float around on wings like that of an insect... They are the servants of Cupid!”
“Cupid?” May said, furrowing her brow. “But that's, like, impossible! Cupid's some kinda fairy tale guy who shoots arrows to make people fall in love!”
“Precisely!” Rolf nodded, turning around and facing them as he stopped walking. “Cupid has his minions! He sends them to curse people with love!”
“Noooo! It's the end of the world!” Ed cried in despair, almost dropping the thermos. He looked down, remembering he still had it, and took a sip. “Mmm... much better!”
“This is really sounding weird, but, after what's happened, I can't think of any other reason!” May admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. “What can we even do, Rolf?”
“Simple! We must acquire lemons of exactitude! Once we see where the imps are to be, we strike!” Rolf announced dramatically. “Only then will we cure the smitten Ed boys!”
Ed and May exchanged glances once more, then looked back to Rolf as he struck yet another dramatic pose.
“How do we cure my friends?” Ed wanted to know, sipping his gravy again. He looked into the thermos, then poured some more into the cup.
“We will need the garden hoses of justice!” Rolf declared. “When washed away, the Ed boys will be back to normal!”
“And I will have my friends back!” Ed exclaimed joyfully.
“And my sisters will finally settle down!” May put in, looking relieved. “I'm in!”
“Excellent! We shall move out at exactly noon, sharp!” Rolf stated, grinning widely. “We will not let the imps overtake any longer! They have messed with Rolf for the last time! Mark Rolf's words! Meet Rolf back here by lunchtime! We will initiate! Rolf will acquire the lemons, Ed boy, you acquire the hoses! And you, Kanker Dame!”
“Yes?” May blinked.
“Erm... go with Ed boy, just to be safe. And grab a mop! A long one!” Rolf hesitated, then shrugged before he headed off down the hall.
Ed sipped more gravy, looking thoughtful while doing so. May examined her nails, rocking back and forth on her heels. Neither spoke a word, at least until the bell rang for their next class.
“Well, uh, there's the bell!” May finally said, rubbing the back of her neck, “So, uh... meet you here, after class!”
“Yeah!” Ed managed, closing up the thermos and handing it to her. “Thank you for the gravy!”
“You're welcome...” May took the thermos back, blushing a little.
They both stood there awkwardly for a moment or two, at least before Ed took off down the hall in one direction, with May going in the opposite direction. This had certainly been a strange, yet far from unpleasant encounter overall.