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Taako deals with this crisis in the same manner as he deals with all other crises. Meaning: he doesn’t. He waits in silence until the Director has finished apologizing, and then he stands up and leaves. He can feel Merle and Lucretia’s eyes on his back, hear the sound of a chair scraping as Magnus leaps to his feet and Davenport grabs his arm to keep him from running after Taako. Angus, seated beside the door, squeaks out a small “Sir?” as he stalks past.
Taako doesn’t acknowledge his surroundings until he’s reached the edge of the moonbase. He lets out an annoyed huff and scuffs the toe of his boot on the ground. Outside the thick glass walls of the base, night has begun to fall across Faerun. Taako presses his hands against the glass. If he squints, he can just make out the field of black glass that was once the town of Phandolin. And, just east, the mountains that conceal Wave Echo Cave, where he had taken the umbrastaff from the red-robed skeleton.
Taako jerks back from the wall, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. He feels his hands start to tremble and quickly clenches them into tight fists. He needs a distraction before he’s forced to think about Lucretia’s betrayal and what it cost him.
Every activity Taako chooses to entertain himself fizzles out. He’s actively avoiding his own thoughts in a way he never has before. His desperation culminates in vanilla macarons burning in the oven while Taako stares blankly at the destruction he’s caused in his own kitchen.
The smell of scorched cookies jerks Taako out of his trance after a few moments. He hurries to pull the pan out of the oven, but yelps and drops it with a clatter when he grabs it with his bare hand. He lets out a string of curses, wincing as angry red marks appear on his palm.
Obviously, being alone isn’t working as well as it should. Taako makes a small noise of disgust. He refuses to subject himself to the pity that he knows Merle and Magnus will bring with them, and Angus will have too many questions. There’s no one on the base even remotely worth Taako’s time right now.
And then, a thought occurs to him. He steps over the hot pan still lying on the floor and pulls his stone of farspeach from his pocket. It takes only a swipe of his thumb before the stone crackles and a familiar voice spills out.
“Hello? Taako? I thought you were still on a mission.”
Taako plasters on a brilliant smile, though he knows Kravitz can’t see him. “Well hey there, handsome. You’re not busy, are you?”
“Not particularly, no. Why?”
“Back from Wonderland- which, by the way, not as fun as it seems- and quite frankly I’m tired of seeing the same two faces all day. Intelligent company might be nice.”
A soft chuckle floats through the stone. “I see,” Kravitz says softly. “Are you in your apartment?”
“It’s the only place I can get away from dumb and dumber, so… yeah.”
Taako tucks one ankle behind the other, settling all his weight on one leg. He’s absently playing with the end of his long braid when Kravitz replies with no hesitation.
“Let me guess- in the kitchen? I’ll be right over.”
And, sure enough, a rift opens in front of Taako just moments later. Kravitz steps out of it, a warm smile on his lips and a stone of farspeach still in his hand. Taako tosses his own stone over his shoulder and bats his eyes.
“What took so long?”
“Oh, you know. Traffic and such.”
It’s the kind of joke that Taako has come to expect from Kravitz, the kind he’s gotten used to laughing at. It takes him a second too long to react to this one. The slightest crease appears between Kravitz’s brows. Taako hurries to grab his hand and drag him towards the living room.
“Let’s watch a movie, get somewhere more comfortable.”
Kravitz doesn’t allow himself to be pulled from the kitchen. “Taako?”
“Tell me on the couch, handsome.”
“Taako, it looks like your kitchen exploded. There are cookies on the floor.”
A hard knot of terror lodges itself in Taako’s gut. He forces himself to sound indifferent. “Just a little mishap with the macarons, dear, nothing to fret over.”
“You don’t have mishaps in the kitchen, Taako. Your oven is hanging open. What’s going on?”
Taako swallows hard, fighting the fear rising up like bile in his throat. Kravitz turns away from him to start cleaning burnt macarons off the floor of the trashed kitchen. Taako’s gaze slips down to his burned hand before he can help it. Unwanted thoughts of sparkling hazel eyes, bubbling laughter, and pink hair start slipping in. Taako shakes his head quickly to clear it and decides to give an excuse.
“Liches were running Wonderland. Took some of my ‘life force’ or whatevs. No biggy. Guess I’m just not used to it yet.”
Kravitz glances at Taako for a moment, and Taako has to struggle not to make his smile too fake. But then the reaper shakes his head and turns the oven off with a sigh. “I told you liches were a bad idea. Did you hurt yourself?”
Taako shrugs. “Not really. Had some machinery fall on me. It’s chill, though, I’m all good.”
“I meant today, love. In the kitchen.”
“Oh. Uh… yeah.”
He holds out his hand a bit sheepishly, and Kravitz takes it gently. He examines it for a few moments, then nods once. “Alright. You’ll be fine in a few days. Go sit down, I’ll grab some burn cream and be right back to patch you up.”
“I’ll come with you!” Kravitz seems a little taken aback. Taako is quick to cover up his outburst, cursing himself for being so obvious about not wanting to be left alone. “I mean… if you want company.”
The expression on Kravtiz’s face softens. “I suppose you could walk with me to your bathroom, yes.”
Taako giggles a bit nervously. He’s supposed to be acting happy, damn it. “Well. No. That would be silly, wouldn’t it?”
Kravitz takes hold of Taako’s unburned hand and pulls him through the apartment to the bathroom without saying a word. In the tiny bathroom, Kravitz pulls burn cream and gauze from Taako’s medicine cabinet before picking the elf up by the waist and setting him down on the sink.
Taako watches as Kravitz tenderly cleans and bandages his hand. He licks his lips and bites the inside of his cheek before reaching up with his free hand and tentatively brushing a few dreadlocks back over Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz doesn’t say anything about the gentle motion. He does, however, rub his thumb over the back of Taako’s hand before tying off the bandage.
He glances up at Taako through dark eyelashes and that’s the moment in which the elf chooses to allow himself a moment of weakness. He drops his façade and lets his free hand rest in the reaper’s hair.
“Kravvy,” he whispers. “Hug me.”
Kravitz wraps his arms around Taako without hesitation. Taako, in turn, sinks into the unfamiliar intimacy and clutches at Kravitz. He buries his head against Kravitz’s shoulder and presses his face into black hair to hide his mounting terror. Kravitz rubs a hand over Taako’s back and Taako feels something deep inside himself seize up. Suddenly, the arms holding him are slighter, the hair tickling his nose softer.
Taako flinches out of the embrace, leaving Kravitz to stare at him in surprise. Nothing about Kravitz has changed. Taako swallows hard. He practically lunges forward to catch Kravitz in a rough kiss, recklessly trying to banish the obtrusive memories. Kravitz makes a small noise, clearly a bit shocked and confused by Taako’s rapidly changing moods.
Kravitz places both of his hands on Taako’s shoulders and eases them apart. Taako clenches his jaw to keep his lips from quivering, but it doesn’t work for long. The moment Kravitz begins speaking, his voice soft and calm, Taako’s entire body begins to tremble.
“Taako, love, I’m worried about you. I know this isn’t about your last mission. What’s going on?”
Taako’s eyes start to burn as hot tears well up. He hates it, hates himself for being so vulnerable. He’s worked his whole life to control his emotions, to be dependent on no one else, to rely solely on his own survival skills. Except that he hasn’t. For nearly two hundred years, Taako didn’t need to guard himself so closely. He didn’t need to be a one-man show. He didn’t need to be indestructible. And now, for the first time in years, he isn’t alone anymore. But he isn’t with the person he misses the most.
Taako opens his mouth to give Kravitz a flippant answer, but finds himself letting out a pitiful whimper. His shaking hands clench into fists on the lapels of Kravitz’s suit. He meets Kravitz’s gaze, expecting to find disgust at this display of weakness. Instead, he finds genuine concern in those dark eyes and he begins to sob.
Kravitz pulls Taako against his chest, one hand tight around his waist and the other pressed against the back of his head. He rocks slowly as Taako weeps, humming softly when Taako shudders and gasps, his tears dying into wet hiccups and small whines.
Kravitz has seen more than enough pain to last a lifetime or several, but nothing quite like this. Taako, sweet and dangerous, giggling, beautiful Taako, has rarely shown emotion beyond mild amusement or frustration. This agony, this raw pain and grief, breaks Kravitz’s heart to witness. None of the awful things Taako has accomplished could have made him deserving of this kind of pain.
Taako cries himself to sleep right there, seated on the bathroom sink and cradled in Kravitz’s arms. Kravitz presses his face into Taako’s hair for just a moment. He kisses his forehead, then slowly pulls Taako’s full weight into his arms and carries the exhausted elf to the bedroom.
He tucks Taako under the blankets and brushes his fingers against the tear stains on his face. Then he sets to work. By the time Taako begins to stir, Kravitz has cleaned the kitchen, discarded of the ruined macarons, tidied the bathroom, and made a pot of tea. He’s just walking back into the bedroom with a steaming cup when Taako blinks awake.
Taako sniffles a few times, watching Kravitz with a dejected expression. He looks truly miserable. Kravitz sits on the edge of the bed, reaching over to adjust the blanket around Taako’s chest.
“I made you some tea.”
Taako’s gaze slides away. “Shouldn’t have,” he mumbles. His voice is hoarse. “Not worth your time.”
“You will always be worth my time, Taako. You are everything to me. You’re my heart.”
Taako chokes out a wry laugh. “Yeah, cause that always works out so well.”
Kravitz takes Taako’s unbandaged hand in his own. “You don’t need to be afraid. You aren’t cursed. And besides, I’m already dead. You can’t kill me. I can’t die from spending too much time in your company.”
“… Right.”
“I want you to be happy, Taako. You don’t need to tell me what’s wrong, but please… let me help.”
Taako doesn’t move. His eyes are red and puffy. Just when Kravitz is starting to think he’s fallen asleep again, Taako squeezes his hand tightly.
“I had a sister,” he says, and Kravitz hardly dares to breathe. “A twin. She was… good. She was everything good. She was beautiful, and talented, and kind, and tough as all hell. She was older than me by three minutes and forty-five seconds and she didn’t let me forget it for one hundred and seventy-two years. She was exactly six millimeters taller than me. She had hazel eyes and blonde hair that she dyed pink. She had freckles on her cheeks and three piercings in each ear. She protected me from everything except herself. She taught me magic. She stayed by my side and kept me alive. I was forced to forget her. She was the only thing I ever cared about, and I wasn’t allowed to know about her. She was stolen from me.”
“What was her name?”
“… Lup.”
Taako clenches his jaw a few times, then finally turns to look at Kravitz. Kravitz uses his free hand to brush hair from Taako’s face and cradle his cheek. Taako swallows hard, pursing his lips before he speaks.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell her I love her. She’s just… gone.”
Kravitz leans down slowly to press their foreheads together. “You will be with her again one day. And until that day, Taako, I swear, I will do everything in my power to make you happy. When you allow me to, I will keep you safe. You do not have to face your life without support.”
Taako lifts his bandaged hand to tangle it in Kravitz’s dreadlocks. He thinks about this crisis, this hurt and betrayal. He takes a shuddering breath. And he deals with it.
“I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be left behind again. I… I’m afraid.”
He leaves himself open and vulnerable for the first time since Lup. And there in the darkness, holding each other close, Kravitz meets him halfway.
“I can’t promise that I’m not going to leave. But I can promise you that if I go, I will not be leaving of my own free will. Not ever. Taako, I will not leave you. You are not alone. You don’t have to be alone ever again.”