Chapter Text
“Gamora. Psst, Gamora. Gam - ”
“What do you want, Quill?”
“What did you get for question twelve?”
Gamora huffed a sigh, brushing her fringe out of her face. Honestly. “Okay, first of all, why are you whispering, and second, aren’t you supposed to be piloting the Milano?” Peter gave her a sheepish look over his messy stack of half-torn notes and dog-eared textbook. He’d been sitting at the communal table for all of thirty seconds, and his stuff had somehow spread to cover all of hers. Gamora yanked her holo-tab out from under his “Poisons and Serums: It’s Just Good Chemistry” book and fixed him with a glare.
“Rocket’s got it covered?” It sounded more like a question. “We’re what, ten minutes away from campus - nothing bad’s going to happen.”
She snorted, her attention turning back to her tablet as she scrolled through her messages. They seemed to be back in the Academy’s wi-fi range again. “You say that like you didn’t get a knife to your gut that one time we had some...surprise cargo. We were all of thirty seconds away from landing.”
“That’s not fair, the ‘surprise cargo’ didn’t have a weapon on her, that knife belonged to you,” Peter countered, kicking up his feet onto the table and promptly spraying papers everywhere. “Whoops.”
Another exasperated sigh, although this time from the comm unit from the cockpit. “Are you two done flirtin’ yet? Groot is getting bored up here with me but I don’t need him vomiting from your d’ast foreplay.”
“I am definitely done with Quill for today,” Gamora scowled, moving to scoop up her now-scattered homework. Mantis and Drax, who had been conversing near the observation window, came over to help.
“You should be more careful, Peter,” Mantis said, her voice lilting and gentle as always. Her antennae glowed, illuminating her face, and Peter couldn’t help but wonder if she was using her powers on him or the others.
“He is never careful,” Drax nodded sagely, as if he were bestowing a great wisdom upon the group. “It is why I question his position as our leader. Constantly.”
“You’re a real pal, Drax,” Peter said cheerfully, reaching for Gamora’s tablet. “Hey, we’ve got a message from Jan.”
“You mean I have a message from Jan,” Gamora said, snatching it out of his hands, ignoring his feeble protests. Peter watched as Gamora scrolled deftly through what was apparently an incredible long text, muttering under her breath in incomprehensible sentences. “She’s asking if we’ll be back soon, Director Fury will be making a school-wide announcement in the quad in half an hour.”
“Five minutes!” Rocket called, as Groot came sliding down the ladder like a fireman’s pole, a gleeful squeal emitting from his tiny mouth.
“I am Groot!” he said cheerfully, reaching to tap Gamora on the calf. She set him down on her shoulder before resuming her task. Janet’s message seemed endless, and as much as she secretly liked the ever-so-cheerful Wasp, Gamora had little tolerance for natter.
“She said if we need motivation to hurry up, there’s money involved,” Gamora continued, and she didn’t need to look up to know the others had suddenly started paying more attention. “A lot of money.”
“I can make it two!”
“Wait - Rocket - don’t - ”
“Well, we made it, didn’t we?”
“The emergency booster was totally unnecessary, dude. We had like, twenty minutes to spare.” Peter inspected the new scratches on the Milano. “My poor baby. We just got a fresh paint job, like, a month ago.”
“At least the wings are still attached. Small mercies,” Gamora commented as she made her way down the boarding ramp, Groot happily bouncing away on her shoulder, his little fingers weaved through her hair.
Avengers Academy seemed to be in its usual paradoxical state of chaotic calm, as always. Some students were wandering aimlessly, stopping every now and then to observe their surroundings and fellow classmates, while others were hard at work. SHIELD HQ seemed to be particularly overrun with students today, as was Professor Pym’s laboratory. Peter let out a startled yelp when America Chavez suddenly jumped out of a portal two feet in front of his face.
“Sorry, been busy!” she yelled before disappearing again. As Peter clutched his chest to calm his hammering heartbeat, Stephen Strange zipped by, nearly crashing into him.
“By the Eye of Agamotto! My apologies, Peter, I didn’t see you there!” Stephen exclaimed. “You’re back just in time for the Director’s announcement.”
“Uh huh,” Peter gasped weakly in an attempt to catch his breath. “What’s it all about?”
“We don’t know yet,” Stephen shrugged, “but I look forward to it!” With that, he zipped off, cheerfully whistling what suspiciously sounded like The X-Files theme song.
“Man, people here are weird. And we’ve battled aliens,” Peter said, turning to his team, only to find they had already resumed walking towards the quad. “Wait - guys - ”
The quad was unusually packed for a weekday afternoon, especially considering there was no invasion or takeover or general nonsense currently in progress. Students milled about, a comfortable buzz of idle chatter growing louder and louder as everyone speculated about what could possibly be happening that required a school-wide meeting.
“We really need a proper assembly room for these kinds of things, Director,” Pepper muttered as she peered out the window of Avengers Hall, clutching her binder anxiously. “With this many personalities on campus, we’re lucky no one’s started any physical altercations yet.”
“Taskmaster seems ready to go at any moment’s notice, if you ask me,” Fury drawled, standing up from behind his desk. “Is it time?”
“Ready when you are, sir. Fire away,” Pepper beamed, pushing open the front doors.
The Guardians pushed their way through the crowd in a hasty attempt to find Nebula and Yondu. Though the two were definitely not fond of each other, they often had to hang out by default when they were left out of Guardians missions on Fury’s orders, insisting they had to learn how to play nice before officially taking jobs.
“I do not want to be surprised by this announcement, especially since I don’t know how Nebula will take it,” Gamora said firmly, yanking Peter by the wrist.
“And with money involved, who knows what Yondu’s gonna do,” Peter replied, trying not to focus on the warmth of Gamora’s hand. “I mean, I already have to be worried about Rocket.”
“Watch your mouth, Star-Munch, before I break your - ”
“Break my kneecaps, I got it!” Peter said loudly. A few students turned to look at him curiously. “Seriously, you’ve been threatening that all year. What is with the kneecaps? Is it because that’s the highest place you can reach?”
Rocket let out a feral snarl and leaped, claws fully extracted, until Drax reached out to snag him by the back of his vest. “Cease this fighting! It will not do us any good in finding our friends.”
“Need me to find something for you?” A new, rather bored-sounding voice, came from above. Their heads turned to see Jessica Jones, sitting on the roof of Club A, her trusted binoculars in hand. “If you’re looking for Blue Man Group, they’re all the way at the benches, trying real hard not to kill each other. I give it five minutes.”
“Thank you!” Mantis called, and they were off again, practically breaking into a sprint, relieved when they spotted Yondu’s rather obnoxious (in Peter’s opinion) fin. “Hello, friends! We have returned.”
“Hey, bug-girl,” Yondu greeted with a nod, while Nebula eyed them darkly in silence. Gamora let go of Peter to stand near her.
“Have you been good, sister?” Gamora said as politely as she could manage, though her fingers were dancing along the handle of the Godslayer, which was otherwise tucked neatly into her belt.
“Do not patronize me,” Nebula snapped. “What are we all doing here? This is a waste of time.”
“Shh, he’s coming,” Peter exclaimed, pointing at the door of the Avengers Hall.
Nick Fury swept out in the only way he knew how - dramatically, his leather longcoat fluttering behind him in response to a non-existent wind machine. Pepper followed him, a brisk stride in her step and stacks of binders and folders in her arms. Janet, who was standing nearby, chatting animatedly with Tony Stark at the bulletin board, flitted over to join them, a huge grin on her face.
Silence fell over the crowd, a nervous buzz of tension in the air. “Students,” Fury boomed, the power of his voice resonating in everyone’s chest. There was a reason he was the director of SHIELD and Avengers Academy. “You’re probably wondering what’s going on. Is there some sort of alien invasion? A hostile takeover? Some general nonsense taking place? Well, for once?"
He paused (dramatically). “Not today.” There was a collective sigh of relief. After the last battle, the students were really not in the mood for training, or portals, or god forbid, bots. “Today, we’re finally gonna promote this school the way we should. Not with stories of saving the city, or the world, or even the galaxy - ” Peter shivered a little at that “ - but with a good old-fashioned contest!”
Brows furrowed in confusion. Students turned to each other to exchange baffled looks. Fury’s jaw clenched - he really did not want to deal with this today - and Pepper quickly stepped forward to tap Janet on the shoulder. “Go!” she whispered.
“What Director Fury means is, it’s that time of year. You know, when the school year is wrapping up, and even though we go to school year round and don’t really get a summer break, let’s just pretend a second, okay?” Janet beamed at all of them, and it seemed to satiate everyone. Who didn’t adore Janet? Even Nebula felt the corners of her mouth twitch. “But just because we’re a different kind of school, doesn’t mean we can forgo school traditions. So, I came up with this totally awesome idea - with Tony’s help, of course - to have a yearbook in which we nominate people for different superlatives, and make it available to the public to help humanize us and show them that us superheroes are people, too!”
Excited chatter immediately broke out, immediately drowning out Janet as she attempted to continue her speech. Peter turned to look at his team, and was surprised to see the others (bar Nebula) nodding along. Even Gamora looked impressed.
“It is a good idea,” she admitted. “This school hasn’t had the best impression on the public.”
“Since when do you care about what other people think?” Rocket said, his arms folded.
Gamora shrugged. “Earth isn’t quite as horrible as everyone says. It will be hard to continue saving it if people aren’t receptive to our presence, especially us.”
“Terra don’t pay so well, though,” Rocket reminded her, baring his teeth.
“MONEY!” Janet hollered, as if she had heard Rocket, and that seemed to have shut everyone up again. “Um, I know you were all told there would be money involved, and there is! Tony has generously agreed to fund this little yearbook project of mine, and hopefully motivate you all to participate so we can have a true reflection of our school presented to the world. Each student will receive five hundred units for submitting a nomination form, and five hundred units for submitting a voting ballot.”
She paused to let her words sink in, her grin growing even wider as she observed the elation beginning to form. “Furthermore, we’re hoping this will encourage everyone to discover what truly makes them special and embrace it! Everyone who wins an individual award will be awarded five thousand units, everyone who wins a pairs award will be awarded ten thousand units, and…”
Another dramatic pause (she had been spending too much time with Fury), and Janet let out a near-delirious squeal mixed with an exhale, resulting in her nearly choking on her own breath. “...everyone who wins a group-slash-team award will be awarded fifty! Thousand! UNITS!”
“Oh shit,” Peter said, awed, turning to clutch at Drax and Gamora’s arms (he had learned the hard way to never grab Nebula, no matter how much initial eye contact they were making). “We wouldn’t have to take a job for like, months with that kind of money! We might actually have time to study!”
“You do pretty much nothing every single day regardless of our job prospects,” Gamora reminded him, though there was a brightness in her eyes that suggested she was just as thrilled as he was. “We must win, Quill. The Milano needs repairs, and we need new equipment for Club Galaxy and the Combat Simulator.”
“Maybe if you stopped destroying the dummies every time you used it,” Rocket muttered under his breath.
“I will go get the nomination forms from Janet,” Mantis announced loudly, expertly weaving herself between Gamora and Rocket, her antennae hastily lighting up. The two let out dramatic exhales, giving Peter the impression that Mantis had literally pulled their impending anger out of their breaths. I should really remind her to do that whenever Gamora’s mad at me, Peter thought.
“What kind of categories are there?” Falcon called out from somewhere in the back.
“Yes, I wish to know the many ways in which I can be superior to all of you,” Enchantress added from where she was perfectly perched on one of the benches, inviting everyone’s gaze to turn to her. To her frustration, barely anyone bothered to look.
“Oh, plenty!” Janet said enthusiastically, waving her papers around and sending a few flying. Pepper was cringing behind her. “We’ve got your typical categories like Most Likely to Be President, Best Hair, Nicest Smile, but then we’ve got ones unique to our school like Best Weapons Designer and Most Likely to Set the Entire School on Fire!”
“My money’s on Ghost Rider for that last one,” Peter muttered, causing Drax to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.
“You have left money with the Ghost Rider? That is irresponsible,” Drax commented. “His flames would instantly render them to ash.”
“I - no - never mind. Oh, Mantis is back.”
Mantis smiled brightly at them as she passed out the forms to each team member, even folding one up into a tiny ball so she could stick it in Groot’s uniform pocket. Nebula practically snatched it out of Mantis’s hands, and Peter briefly wondered if she was capable of doing anything non-aggressively.
“This will be so fun,” Mantis said cheerily. “Janet has informed me that Director Fury has given everyone the rest of the day off to begin working on the forms. They are to be handed in to Pepper by the end of the week.”
“Let’s head back to the Milano and get these done, then. Shall we?” Peter extended an arm to his adoptive sister, who accepted it with a hearty “Yay!”, and then held out his other for Gamora, who looked unimpressed. She instead opted to grab Nebula by the wrist and lead the way back to their ship.
“You will not submit my name for anything as a joke,” Gamora informed her sister.
“Try and stop me,” Nebula sneered. Oh, this was going to be a fun time had by all.
“Are we seriously trying to nominate ourselves for every single category here? That’s not even possible,” Peter said patiently. The team was now seated at the communal table (he had long given up calling it the dining table after Drax decided it was a good place to leave his dirt-covered boots and daggers), blank forms in front of them, teasing the potential of the easiest money they could ever make.
“I’m sorry, are you trying to deprive us of units? We need money, Quill,” Rocket snapped, deftly twirling a pencil between his claws. Groot was sitting on his shoulder, nodding empathetically. “The more chances, the better.”
As explained on the form, students were allowed to nominate themselves in as many categories as they’d liked, but were only allowed one form each. If a student, pair, or group were nominated more than once for a specific category, each additional nomination would count as “headstart” votes. Upon understanding this, the team had taken it upon themselves to fill out their forms in an identical manner to give themselves any boost they possibly could. Hey, they didn’t become the Guardians of the freaking Galaxy by playing nice all the time.
“I suggest we do this systematically,” Drax volunteered. “Let us work our way from the top down and agree on who would be the best choice for each category.”
“How diplomatic of you,” Rocket commented sarcastically. Then he frowned. “But I guess that’ll work. What’s first?”
“Best Dancer, because this school is ridiculous,” Gamora sighed. She was already growing bored, doodling in the margins of her form. She had been hoping to spend her evening in the Arena of War, training with Ares. “It will not be me. I don’t dance. I rock.”
“We can put you down for Best Musician then,” Peter offered. Then he grinned salaciously. “But obviously, I’m going to be our nominee for Best Dancer.”
“I am Groot!”
“I’m sorry, Groot, you’re pretty good too,” Peter said, reaching to pat Groot’s cheek. “But, I mean, come on, guys. Aliens tell me I'm an excellent dancer. I think. Sometimes I...don't really know what they're saying.”
As if on cue, the entire group groaned. They were going to be here a while.
An agonizing four hours later, Drax and Mantis set out plates and cutlery for everyone and began portioning out some mysterious casserole for their dinner. Yondu was fast asleep on the couch, having given up long ago on fighting with “them d’ast fools”, and Nebula was, for some reason, putting Rocket in a headlock.
“Nebula, no!” Mantis cried, her antennae pointing aggressively at the pair. “We must complete our mission. Do not get distracted with anger. Please.”
Nebula released Rocket, though she grumbled as Rocket exaggeratedly coughed his lungs out. “Geez, lady. You gotta be kidding me!” Nebula ignored him in favour of snatching up her plate and shoveling food in her mouth with her hands, foregoing the offered fork and spoon. Gamora’s expression softened a little as she watched her sister eat, remembering the way they had fought over scraps as children. It was not surprising that Nebula was still protective over every bite.
“We are down to the last few pairs categories,” Gamora said to Drax and Mantis as the two joined them at the table. “Best Siblings, Best Double Act, and Cutest Couple.”
“Easy,” Peter said through a mouthful of what he was pretending was chicken. “Me and Mantis are obviously Best Siblings - no offense, Nebula, but you and Gamora aren’t exactly the Brady Bunch - and Groot and Rocket are Best Double Act.” Nebula got up and left for her room, no longer wanting to keep up the pretense of her participation, clutching her plate to her chest as if it were a baby.
“That still leaves Cutest Couple,” Gamora pointed out. “Although we knew from the beginning it would not be a possible category for anyone on our team. No one is in a relationship.”
“I dated Carol,” Peter reminded her, watching her face carefully to see how she would react.
“You went on a date with Carol,” Rocket corrected him with a shit-eating grin. “Then you had to go and do that thing. Why’d you have to do that, Quill? Huh?”
“Don’t remind me,” Peter said, clenching his teeth. “Alright, so we don’t have a couple. Is that such a big deal?”
“That puts us out of a potential ten thousand units, so yes, it’s a big freaking deal,” Rocket shot back. “There’s only one thing we can do, then. Two suckers gotta pretend to be the cutest d’ast couple Terra’s ever seen until the yearbooks come out, and that ain’t for another three months.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.” Gamora looked absolutely flabbergasted. “That is an awful idea.”
“You’re just worried I’m gonna suggest it should be you and Quill,” Rocket grinned. Groot, who had been drifting off a little (it was getting close to his bedtime), suddenly perked up and began waving his arms up and down.
“I am Groot! I am Groot!” Gamora eyed him suspiciously.
“Groot says that would, in fact, be a great idea,” Rocket translated, leaning forward to rest his chin on his paws as if to mock her. “And I think so too - thanks, Groot - because if anyone’s gonna be believable, it’ll be you guys.”
“What about Drax and Mantis?” Gamora suggested, turning to look at them with a rather uncharacteristic desperation in her eyes. “They spend more time in each other’s company.”
“I believe we have established I find Mantis entirely repulsive.” Drax folded his hands together neatly on the table in an attempt to appear diplomatic. Mantis was nodding enthusiastically beside him. “I would not be able to uphold the ruse. Mantis is simply my good friend, as my urge to vomit when picturing us together - physically - will be too great.”
“I don’t know whether to be upset or happy that you’re talking about my sister that way,” Peter said in a half-heartedly cheerful tone. He had also started acting oddly since Rocket’s suggestion. Gamora looked down at her food, wondering if it had gone bad and caused Peter to sound strangely subdued. “I mean, Rocket’s kind of right. No one’s gonna believe Nebula or Yondu would date anyone, Rocket and Groot kind of...can’t, so that basically leaves us.”
Peter turned to look at Gamora properly for the first time since the beginning of the incredibly uncomfortable conversation. She looked...nervous. The last time she had looked like that was right before they had crashed onto Terra upon escaping the Cosmic Conservatory, when she later confessed to him that she had been scared she was going to die. What about this was so comparable to that? Was the prospect of fake-dating him really that terrifying to her? Peter opened his mouth, ready to find some way to get them out of this - he may be an a-hole, but Gamora was his friend, and he wasn’t in the business of making her uncomfortable - when she cut him off.
“I suppose I could pretend. Ten thousand units will do nicely,” Gamora said, sounding like she was trying her hardest to convince herself it would be worth it. “Besides, it’s not as if we’ll really be dating.”
“Wow, tell me how you really feel,” Peter said jokingly, the tension slowly evaporating out of the room. He set his fork down. “We just have to be the cutest couple ever. Like, Baby and Johnny. Or Westley and Buttercup! I could totally be The Man in Black.”
Drax frowned. “I thought that was the name given to Murdock before he became known as Daredevil.”
“Are you referring to those movies you showed me on your VPS tapes?” Gamora questioned, ignoring Drax’s inane statement.
“VHS tapes, and yeah,” Peter replied. The oddly gooey feeling resonating in his chest at the notion of Gamora remembering one of his favourite moments with her was ruined with the realization that the others were eyeing them differently. “Um, what’s up, guys?”
“You guys have movie nights? Date nights?” Rocket sounded like he was trying his hardest not to giggle like a schoolgirl. Or cackle like a super villain. It was hard to tell with him sometimes.
To Peter’s surprise, Gamora appeared to be flushed, as if the prospect of date nights were ludicrous to her. Her cheeks were tinged a slightly darker green than usual. She hastily stood with a white-knuckled grip on her plate and cup, nearly knocking over Mantis’s table setting in the process. Moving to the sink, Gamora said, “No, I was simply curious about the differences between Quill’s music tapes and those other ones he leaves lying around. He insisted on showing me those films.” Her dishes clattered loudly in the sink. “Have we agreed on Quill and I being the couple? Because I would like to move on and discuss the upgrades that Stark has offered us for the Milano. We have spent far too long on this.”
“Smartest thing you ever said, girlie,” Yondu said from the couch. His eyes were still closed, an impish grin on his face.
As the night crept in, it became too late for the Guardians to head back to the dorms, so they opted to retreat to their tiny rooms on the Milano. Gamora was slightly worried when she realized she and Peter were on cleaning-and-lockdown duty, but Peter was surprisingly quiet throughout, not once making a joke or attempting to dance.
When they shut off the lights and activated the security system on the main deck, Peter finally spoke up. “Gamora, if you don't want to do this…”
“Rocket is right,” Gamora interrupted, reaching to undo her ponytail. “Besides, how difficult can it be? There is a lot of flirtation on this campus - a given, considering the nature of Terran culture - but not a lot of actual couples. It will be significantly less competition than that of other categories.”
“I dunno,” Peter said, looking at his feet. “You've got Luke and Jessica. Danny and Misty. Matt and Elektra, kind of. And don't get me started on how badass AND cute Billy and Teddy or Cap and Peggy look together.”
“We could beat them,” Gamora said breezily, her usual air of confidence finding its way back. “I should go to bed, but we should discuss this tomorrow after class. We need to get a plan together.”
Peter nodded, smiling his slightly lopsided smile at her. It was different than the cheesy smirk he usually gave people, but Gamora couldn't put her finger on what it was. “Sure. Night, Gamora.” He gave her an odd two finger salute before heading down to his room.
“Goodnight,” she said softly to the empty room.