Work Text:
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Hey want to come over and hang?
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Don’t feel like going out.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Seriously, if you bring Fritos and chocolate chip cookies, I will blow you as soon as you get through the door.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: WTF TONY WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO MY TEXT MESSAGES, DON’T THINK I WON’T SHOOT YOU
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: lmfao, you’re the one who sent them to me
TEXT MESSAGE FROM BRUCE: Clint, when you press Reply to a text that went out to the team, we all get the message.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: So you and Agent, huh? I assumed he was some kind of sexless robot.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Fuck my life. And shut up, Tony.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Kidding, dude, I’m sure you make a very cute couple. And I’m sure Phil CAN’T WAIT to bring you your treats ;)
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Seriously, Tony, I will put an arrow in a very unpleasant place.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: LOLOLOL you seem tense Clint, maybe you need to spend a day getting laid.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM STEVE: I don’t understand what is happening. Who is talking to who? Texting is stupid. Make a phone call!
TEXT MESSAGE FROM BRUCE: Again, all of you are pressing Reply to a group message, and everyone is receiving all of these texts. Please stop making my phone buzz, I am trying to meditate.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: TONY I WILL FUCK YOU UP
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: only if you bring me fritos lololol
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: Please desist this conversation.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Phil, way to go. Some nice archer ass you got there!
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: Stark, I just sent a message to Pepper.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Told on me?
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: Loaned her some very special equipment.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Damn, Agent, you don’t mess around. Very strict. I see why you’re into it, Katniss.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: GO FUCK YOURSELF TONY
TEXT MESSAGE FROM STEVE: Okay, is Clint in a relationship with Phil? Is that what’s going on? If so, best wishes to you both.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: Thank you, Captain, that is very much appreciated.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Be careful Coulson or you’ll make Clint jealous with your Captain America crush.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM PEPPER: Tony.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM TONY: Gotta go, bye. Have a nice day gorging on junk food and each other!
TEXT MESSAGE FROM BRUCE: Am I the only one bothered by the constant stream of texts that should be private?
TEXT MESSAGE FROM NATASHA: You are not the only one who is annoyed. I am considering retaliatory action.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Sorry, Tash. Don’t do anything, you know, you-ish.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM NATASHA: I told you that discretion wasn’t your strong point, Clint.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: Hello, Avengers team. As you have noticed, Agent Barton and I are in a relationship. SHIELD was informed a long time ago. All team members will be treated equally. If you have any questions, please direct them to me.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM STEVE: What are Fritos?
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: I’ll send you some.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM BRUCE: Putting my phone on Silent now to prevent the destruction of the entire city.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM NATASHA: Have fun, guys.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CLINT: Sorry I spilled the beans, Phil.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: I’m not. See you soon.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM COULSON: And no, I won’t forget the cookies.