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Keith knows he doesn't show it, but he's forever grateful to Lance.
He knew he couldn't be a leader, he didn't want to, and he knew he wasn't even suited for it. But when the black lion chose him and he refused to step up, it was Lance who encouraged him, who trusted him to be the leader despite what he had said earlier. He had wholeheartedly respected the black lion's choice and accepted Keith as the new leader of Voltron.
Perhaps that's why red chose Lance then. Red also saw how sincere the Cuban was and had been impressed, therefore accepting him as the new red paladin. Keith knew exactly how hard it was to impress and get the approval of red, and Lance had done it unknowingly. Keith was thought that was very admirable.
Even when Keith did mess up, like he said he would, Lance was there first to bring him back to his senses and realize his mistake, and then to help him fix the mistake. He didn't tell Keith that he had to fix what was his own fault, he told him 'we have to fix it' and that meant a lot to Keith, getting a second chance.
When Shiro came back, Lance approached him and told him of his worries, that maybe he wasn't good enough for the team and would have to step down. Keith didn't understand why Lance would say that; didn't Lance realize just how amazing he is?
In the battle with Lotor's generals, Keith recalled how Lance was right there by his side, and had backed him up when he was in a pinch. Keith smiled gratefully, and now that he thinks about it, it might be affectionately as well.
As Keith lay on his bed thinking of all of this about Lance, he came to a terrifying yet exhilarating realization; he might be in love with Lance.
Lance who had his back, Lance who comforted him when he was down, Lance who trusted him with his troubles, Lance who encouraged him. Lance who...was just so special and deserved so much more than Keith can offer.
Pidge was right, Keith was a loner, he was instinctive and hotheaded, as Lance would often say, and if by some miracle Lance liked him back and they got together, Keith would eventually end up hurting him.
No, Keith didn't want to run away from what he felt, but he wasn't going to confess to Lance just yet. One day perhaps, but right now he needed to sort out the newfound feelings in his heart.
Keith quickly got up from his bed. Who better to talk to than Keith's self-acclaimed brother, who might even know Keith better than himself? True, Shiro had been acting strange, but Keith'
is sure it's because being caught by the Galra again messed with his head a bit. Maybe Keith could use this as a time to catch up as well.
Keith left his room and began making his way down the hallway, but noises from Lance's room stopped him.
"...I mean he is getting better as a leader, but isn't that just perfect? He always gets everything I ever wanted. Fighter pilot, got that in the bag, having Shiro's approval, something I've always dreamed of, and then becoming the new head of Voltron? He didn't even want to be, and I just wanted to show everyone that I'm worth something, that I'm more than just a goofball, more than just a seventh wheel." Lance was saying.
Keith's heart froze in his chest as he listened to some squeaking, which means Lance was talking to the mice.
"No of course I like him! He's a cool dude and like I do call him my rival and maybe used to hate him. But he's my friend now and honestly, he's just awesome. But sometimes he's just too perfect, taking everything I want effortlessly, leaving me in the dust. I just wish I could be like his equal but I can't cause...I'm nothing. I'm not super smart like Pidge or Hunk, neither am I talented like him and Shiro, and I'm certainly not Altean like Allura and Coran. I guess I just don't belong with them. I was stupid to call Keith my rival, I will never reach his level, he's beyond anything I can hope to be. No wonder he never noticed me, I was nothing compared him in terms of well, everything."
Keith tried to blink his tears away and beg his heart to not break. He should go, he thought, before he could hear something worse.
After more squeaking, he heard Lance speak again. "As I said I do like him! Sheesh! But I mean I do hate him for being so perfect, he can't help it but I don't...I don't think I can ever like him for everything he took that I wished were mine."
Lance didn't know, and would never know that in that moment, Keith's heart shattered.
Keith took a deep breath before slowly marching back to his room. He curled up in his bed, wrapping his arms around his knees and bringing them to his chest. He let a few tears drop into the blanket.
'Just this once', he told himself, 'Just this once I'll let my tears go, then I'll bury me feelings and be the friend he needs.'
Keith would keep to his word, and instead of focusing on his feelings of Lance, he decided to help Lance be more confident of himself, to actually love himself, and understand how irreplaceable and valuable he is.
He would put Lance's needs above his own, and just hope that one day, Lance would learn that they are in fact, equals.
