Chapter Text
Inhale, exhale.
Breathe in deep, release it slowly.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
It will take away the pain. The distress. Everything.
Everything is going to be alright.
-x-
Three days.
It has been three days now.
Nijimura sighed as he looked around, seeing no trace of his grey-haired junior. Haizaki has been skipping practice for three days now, but no one knows where he is right now. It seems like the boy has skipped school too.
The captain of the Teikou basketball team has tried to contact his junior, but all of his attempts are futile. There were exactly fifty one missed calls and eighty five unanswered texts in three days.
He had tried to seek for the boy in the dark alleys, in the dumpsters, in the game center, in the places where Haizaki usually hide, but there’s no trance of the boy at all. It seems like Haizaki just decided to disappear and refusing to resurface again.
Nijimura is not a stupid person. Even though he knows that Haizaki hated him, the boy never really ignored his calls or texts. Even though he knows that Haizaki hated to do practice and didn’t want to be found by the senpai, but he never really disappear like this.
Something’s going on with Haizaki.
Nijimura sighed. Probably Haizaki’s hiding in his house, and that means that the grey-haired boy didn’t want anyone to bother him. Once, Haizaki told Nijimura that he feels safe inside his house, and he didn’t want anyone to bother him.
That’s why, even though Nijimura knows that Haizaki’s staying inside his house, he only placed his phone back into his pocket and walk back to his own house.
He didn’t want to be a bother to his junior. Not right now.
-x-
It still hurts.
It has been three days, but it still hurts.
Although it has been three days, although he can’t see blood running down his thighs anymore, although everything is already under control, it still hurts. It still stings. It still feels like the incident has just happened yesterday.
Haizaki can’t eat enough anymore for now.
He can’t stare at the mirror anymore. He can’t stay long outside anymore. Hell, he didn’t even think that he can go out by himself anymore right now.
More importantly, he can’t face his senpai right now.
Haizaki has been ignoring Nijimura’s attempts to contact him for now. Although he wanted to pick up the calls, to reply the texts, to tell Nijimura what was going on, he can’t. Whenever he moved to hold his phone in his hand, his stomach churns.
The device stinks.
He always ended up being in the bathroom, throwing up whatever’s left inside his stomach into the toilet.
It still hurts.
His phone, it was filled with the evidence of what was happening three days before. Photos, videos, and some audio records that were capturing the scenario were stored inside that device.
It hurts.
His body hurts. His bottom aches. His head felt like it’s going to explode.
But, the worst of it all was his heart.
It feels like it has been broken and shattered.
-x-
One week.
It has been one week and there were no words from Haizaki.
It has been one week and the grey-haired junior still avoiding Nijimura’s calls and texts.
Nijimura’s concern has taken its hold into his brain. He’s concerned. He knows that his junior isn’t alright at all.
He had tried to ask Haizaki’s classmates, but no one knows about him. He had tried to ask the Generation of Miracles, but they have no idea, too.
Even Akashi—which usually knows whatever’s happening with his teammates, although Nijimura didn’t know how—didn’t know what happened, either.
Nijimura sighed, glancing at his phone screen, and all the hope left inside his heart faded away quickly. Still. No words from Haizaki.
The raven-haired boy groaned. Although he didn’t want to bother Haizaki, the way Haizaki ignored him has pushed his limits.
Whether he liked it or not, Nijimura is going to visit his junior right now.
-x-
He never counts on the day that has passed since that incident.
Haizaki closed his eyes, feeling moisture rolling down from his closed eyelids down to the dining table he’s currently leaning on, leaving wet trails on the sleeves of his hoodie that he’s currently wearing.
Actually, he hated feeling like this. The feeling of being insecure, weak, exposed.
But, what can he do now? These men who had violated him had broken him from inside out; they had broken his mental and reduced the delinquent into this state. Haizaki himself wasn’t sure if anyone will be able to mend him back or no.
Haizaki feels like although he’s still whole, yet in the same time, he’s not.
Suddenly, his doorbell rang, and he nearly fell from the chair he’s sitting on.
In a split second, Haizaki’s heart raced quickly enough that he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. His breathing become unstable, short gasps escaped his lips instead of even, calm breathing.
“Haizaki? Are you inside? It’s me, Nijimura!”
He didn’t know why, but he feels like the weight that has been pressing him since the doorbell rang was lifted off of him when he heard the voice and the name of his senpai.
“Haizaki?”
Haizaki took a deep, shaky breath before moving away from the dining room, slowly walking to the front door. His hands were trembling when he gripped the door handle, his heart pounding quickly when he moved to open the door.
When he opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of Nijimura’s back.
Hearing the click of the door being opened slowly, Nijimura turned his back and faced Haizaki, and something inside his chest clenched in pain seeing the state Haizaki’s in right now. His grey hair disheveled, his face pale and—God, those eyes. The annoying light Nijimura usually saw in the boy was gone, the grey orbs now filled with nothingness.
Dull.
“You look like a wreck,” Nijimura commented, turning his back to completely face Haizaki and stepping closer to him. Haizaki didn’t reply, but he didn’t move or do something either.
“What happened to you?” Nijimura asked, stopping when he’s around a hand length away from Haizaki. The grey-haired teen looked down, somehow looked afraid and nervous and that’s just not Haizaki that Nijimura know.
“Haizaki?”
“Nothing happened,” Haizaki said at the same time when Nijimura spoke, and Nijimura frowned deeper when he noticed that Haizaki’s breath become labored.
“Haizaki, look, if there’s anything wrong—”
“I said nothing happened!” Haizaki snapped and his voice loud enough to be a yell. Nijimura frowned, but he didn’t make any movement to approach the quivering teen. The older teen looked at his junior then sighed, realizing that Haizaki would not tell him about whatever happened with the grey-haired teen. Yet.
“Fine, fine, if you said so,” Nijimura sighed, approaching the younger teen and stopping when Haizaki flinched. “But—at least, tell me if you’re skipping practice, whatever’s the reason!” Nijimura paused, accessing his junior once again before sighing again. “I was so worried.”
“I’m sorry about that,” Haizaki said, his voice quivering with something that Nijimura can’t catch. “I was sick and I can’t get my phone, so I can’t tell you. I’m sorry about that. Can you leave me alone now?”
Nijimura sighed, then turning his back again. “Fine, whatever, Shougo,” the older teen whispered, stepping away from Haizaki as he spoke. “I’m sorry for concerning you. I expect you to show up for practice tomorrow, and if you don’t, tell me.”
“I’ll show up.”
As Nijimura walked away further, Haizaki closed the door, hard and loud enough to make Nijimura flinch.
As soon as he closed the door, Haizaki slid down to the ground. Unintentionally, a stream of tears escaped from Haizaki’s eyes as it rolled down his cheek and falling to the ground, leaving wet spots of tears in his jeans and on the ground.
He cursed himself for not telling Nijimura the truth. The grey-haired boy wanted to tell his senpai about what happened, he wanted to hug the raven-haired boy and cry in his arms while telling his senpai about what really happened. He wanted Nijimura to know the truth, to help him, to mend him back.
But something inside him blocked it.