Chapter Text
Summary: MC comforts V after he finishes a painting he worked for hours on, but has a break down because he isn't satisfied with it—requested on tumblr by slickandsolangelic
You smiled to yourself when you saw Jihyun walking from one room to another, carrying paints, brushes and lastly the painting board. On certain moments he looked like an excited child, showing his emotions without a care and you couldn’t have felt happier that he was beginning to accept himself. You focused back on making pudding, when you heard his murmuring that only made your smile wider. It didn’t pass long before you were surrounded with silence and you knew he began.
Once done with pudding, you made some tea for both Jihyun and you. You knew how much he likes to drink the tea that you make from lemon, ginger and honey. It was his favourite one, a mixture of sweetness, sourness and bitterness. While waiting for water to boil, you approached the bookshelf that was in the living room. You traced the books with your fingers, wondering which one you should read this time. Stopping at the one you have wanted to read, you took it and walked back to the counter. You poured tea into two mugs that had your names on each one.
You laughed at the memory when you gave one, with Jihyun’s, name to him. He was visibly touched and you wondered how you could surprise him next time on his birthday.
Carrying the plate with mugs and book, you walked into Jihyun’s room he used for painting. Your eyes slightly widened when the painting board stand was facing the wall with window on his left side. It was rather unusual as you knew just how much artists loved the brightness.
“Jihyun,” You called his name softly and smiled when he looked at you. “I brought some tea.” Walking to his side you looked at the painting, only to frown when it was still empty canvas.
“Thank you,” The corners of Jihyun’s lips turned in a small smile as he took his mug. He guided it to his mouth and took in a deep breath, with eyes now closed. His smile widened. “Ah, it’s sweet.” He murmured once he tasted it and looked at you.
You chuckled and walked to the small table beside a sofa chair, where you usually sat and read books while he was painting. “What are you going to paint?” You asked and approached Jihyun once more. Standing by his side, you held your mug in hands and tilted head to the side in curiosity.
“I’m not sure yet.” He answered with a hum. “I have an idea, but…” he trailed off, his expression turning into frown.
A small smile spread over your lips. “Then I won’t disturb you.” You turned around and walked back to the sofa. Sitting down, you pulled legs to your chest, put the mug on the table and took the book. You felt Jihyun’s eyes on you and the moment you raised your gaze, he looked at the canvas, sipping the tea. With a chuckle filling the room, you focused back on the book and opened it.
The only sound that was heard in, otherwise empty, room was his movement around the paints, brushes against the canvas and pages turning. Both of you completely lost the track of time, enjoying each other’s company. You laughed at moments that were funny and cursed under your breath when you felt impatient or upset at character’s choice.
The tea was now cold when you heard a groan and something tearing apart. You raised your head from the book and widened your eyes when you saw Jihyun holding brush and canvas ripped.
“Jihyun!” You called and jumped on your feet, rushing to his side to see if he was hurt. You sighed from relief that he wasn’t, but couldn’t stay much longer.
“This is not what I wanted!” You startled at his raised voice and with the look in his eyes you wasted no time to take brush from his hands and hugged him. You hated it when he showed pain and guilt.
He tensed from your sudden approach and completely shut off. Turning you both around, he was faced the wall as you faced the abstract painting of a portrait. There was a cut right over the green eyes that you recognized. How could you not recognize those green eyes that still hunted Jihyun unconsciously?
“It’s okay…” You whispered when his body began trembling. You closed your eyes, your hand slowly circling on his back. “It’s alright, Jihyun.”
“I’m sorry…” His voice was barely a whisper as he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck. Your heart ached when he let out a shaky breath with embrace even tighter, feeling a bit glad that he didn’t push you away like all those times before.
He kept repeating those two same words as you held him close. “M-maybe I shouldn’t…shouldn’t paint.” He murmured to himself, in hope you didn’t hear him, but you froze as you heard him loud and clear.
Pulling away, you looked into his eyes that you loved and cupped his face, your thumbs caressing his cheeks. “Don’t say such things…” You began slowly, making sure he was listening to you. “You and I both know it will take time to heal.”
Jihyun knew that. He averted his gaze, but your stubbornness made him look back at you.
“We can’t delete past,” You continued and he listened in silence. “But we can learn from it. We can’t forget it completely, but we can still remember happy memories and memories that hold a deep meaning to us. It’s hard and it will be even harder if we keep feelings and thoughts inside.” You smiled softly and lowered your gaze, your hands holding his. You took a deep breath before you looked back into his eyes. “As long as I’m here, you can count on me. You can scream, cry, laugh, I’ll take it all. I won’t leave you and if you feel like falling, I’ll catch you.”
“I-I can’t…” Jihyun shook with head, his hands trembling.
You squeezed them. “Jihyun, look at me.” You raised one hand and caressed his cheek. He hesitated, but looked after a moment. “I’m strong. I won’t break down easily and if you do something that might endanger one of us or make me upset, I’ll tell you. But know that hiding your feelings is not okay. Showing them as how you really feel is alright, because you tell people that you are human and that you can break down as well when something doesn’t turn out like it should.”
Jihyun let out a silent sigh and you didn’t hesitate to hug him once more.
“Don’t worry if you can’t paint what you want.” Your voice was quieter. “We all do things unconsciously and when we least expect it. But that’s what we do. We make mistakes and we learn from them. That is what makes us human. It’s okay to be upset if something doesn’t go your way. It’s okay if people don’t agree with you. It’s okay to break down, Jihyun…”
With forehead resting on your shoulder, you felt his arms tighten around you once more. You smiled and caressed his back. Looking at the painting, you let out a rather quiet sigh before you remembered.
“Oh,” Gasping, you chuckled. “Want to eat some pudding?”
This time Jihyun pulled away and looked at you in confusion, but smiled. “I’d love to.”
Reaching for his hand, you came to a stop, worry now visible in your eyes, unsure if it is alright to hold it or not, when Jihyun beat you at it. Your cheeks heated up and you squeezed his hand tighter.
“Thank you …”
It was quiet, but your chest warmed at his words. Looking at him, you smiled.
“You’re not alone, Jihyun. You are surrounded with people, who love you. Don’t ever forget that.”