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Isak doesn’t sing. He just doesn’t, not by himself.
In the time (nearly a year, now) that they’ve been together, Even’s at most heard him hum, or mumble a few words along, barely audible compared to Even bellowing out the lyrics to some cheesy pop song. Or else, Isak will shout a few words along with Even when he’s drunk, but in that state, you can hardly call it singing.
Isak just doesn’t sing - and Even’s not going to push him, or anything. It’s not a big deal, Isak probably just doesn’t enjoy it. Which is fine. The hums that Even sometimes hears when Isak’s listening to music through headphones are good enough. Anything with Isak is good enough, really - but that’s not the point.
He gets home one day in October, and Isak is. Singing, that is. He’s sitting at the table, back to the door and headphones on - the new noise-cancelling ones he bought last week - which explains why he hasn’t heard Even come in. He’s singing softly along to the soundtrack of the film Even showed him last night - Submarine.
Even places his bag down gently, leans one shoulder against the wall, and just watches. Watches, and adores.
I’m not the kind of fool who’s gonna sit and sing to you
About stars, boy
Even smiles to himself at the lyric change - wonders to himself whether Isak is thinking of him as he sings.
But last night I looked up into the dark half of the blue
And they’d gone backwards
Watching the film with Isak had been great - as it was every time. They’d shut out the rest of the world, laid on their stomachs on their bed and watched, giggling together at the funny parts, shoulders bumping into each other occasionally, and Even twisting to drop kisses onto Isak’s bare shoulder where his baggy tshirt had slipped off and revealed bare skin. When Even did this, Isak would immediately turn his head in response, demanding a proper kiss from Even, which Even would give with a grin, before nudging Isak’s attention back to the film.
Something in your magnetism must have pissed them off
Forcing them to get an early night
After the film had finished, Isak giggled, and rolled on top of Even.
“That was the weirdest film you’ve ever made me watch.”
“I highly doubt that, baby,” Even had grinned, looking up into Isak’s eyes as the boy above him conceded with a tilt of his head.
“Okay, probably not. Still weird though.”
I have been searching from the bottom to the to the top
For such a sight as the one I caught when I saw your
“You loved it.”
“I love you.”
Fingers dimming the light
Like you’re used to being told that you’re trouble
Isak had told him later that he’d liked the soundtrack. Even had replied that it was the guy from Arctic Monkeys. They hadn’t talked much after that. Mostly they just kissed, until Isak curled up, yawning, head on Even’s chest, and demanded that they both sleep.
And I spent all night
Stuck on the puzzle
Even thought he was past being surprised by Isak. Not in a bad way, just in the way that they know each other now. Shaky beginnings last year had melted into excited exploration of each other, and now they’ve settled into knowing each other, loving each other. He should have known, though, that Isak won’t ever stop surprising him. There’s always new things to learn, and he loves every second.
The thing he learns today is how Isak reacts when he didn’t know Even was listening to him singing.
He doesn’t know what he expects. Probably something more dramatic, Isak doing the adorable blushy face and hiding himself in Even’s shoulder while he laments how embarrassed he is that Even heard that.
It’s not like that at all. He does jump when he turns and sees Even in the doorway, but apart from that, he’s a lot more relaxed than Even thought.
“How long have you been there?” he asks, eyes narrowed slightly as he stands and steps towards Even.
“A minute or so,” smiles Even leaning forward to catch Isak’s lips in a greeting. As usual, it’s not a quick greeting. Even pulls away slowly, a minute later, smile slightly dopier than it had been, and speaks again. “I’ve never heard you sing properly before.”
“Huh?” Isak says, blinking at him in confusion.
“Seriously,” says Even. “I mean I’ve heard you when you’re drunk, and I’ve heard you hum. But not like you were just now.”
“Oh,” Isak says, realisation dawning and cheeks flushing slightly as he looks down and shrugs. “Yeah, I - I’ve never really thought about that.”
“I like your voice,” Even tells him, and they both smile. Isak moves forward into Even’s chest, leaning his head onto Even’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around Even’s back.
“I used to sing a lot more,” Isak says quietly. “I mean, around other people.. But then I - I stopped, and…” he tails off, sighs quietly as Even runs the fingers of one hand through Isak’s hair and moves his other hand up and down his back. “I guess I just never started again.”
Even doesn’t ask, because he knows he doesn’t have to. If Isak wants to tell him, he’ll do it in his own time - and it turns out he does want to.
“I mean, it was around the same time that I stopped doing a ton of things that made me happy.” Even holds him tighter and breathes with him. “Not everything, but you know.” Even does know, at least, he’s pretty sure, and sure enough - “you know. The ‘gay’ stuff.”
Even nods. They stay, still and silent for a few moments. Even just holds, and Isak just breathes. That’s what works.
A minute later, Even takes a breath, and speaks.
“You should sing more,” he tells Isak, before turning to press a kiss to Isak’s temple. “I love your voice.”