Work Text:
CAST:
STEVE: 23, tall, dirty blond. Kinda like Archie Andrews from Riverdale.
Semi-athletic and sweet but has some hard edges. Used to tweet about peanut m&ms and stuff.
BUCKY: 24, also tall but not as broad, brunette. Jughead’s “I’m a weirdo” speech was his life in high school. Now is super smart tech dude.
[Video opens with Steve and Bucky sitting across from each other at a tiny card table with several bottles between them.]
Director: Please state your name and who the person sitting across from you is. [off screen]
Steve: My name is Steven Grant Rogers and across from me is my ex, Bucky.
Bucky: same, but I’m James “Bucky” Barnes and Steve is my “ex-bf 4 eva, deck!” [cutesy voice] Although he looks a bit different from when I last saw him. [shifty eyes]
Steve: Do you remember “Shoes”?
Bucky: OMG, let’s get some shoes!
[Awkward chuckles]
Director: The rules are: you answer truthfully or you take a shot.
Steve: I don’t drink.
Bucky: [is surprised]
Steve: I used to drink, but then I would black out.
Bucky: [it’s apparent that Bucky hasn’t seen Steve in while]
Steve: And I would do crazy shit– that people would tell me later.
Bucky: I, also don’t drink. Family shit, y’know? [flaps hand]
[Both stare at Director off screen]
Steve: So I guess we’ll just answer all the questions…?
Director: I was not prepared for this…But let’s get started, alright? Steve, pick up the first card and read it out loud. Then switch.
“How long were we together?”
Bucky: Four years?
Steve: Best friends turned boyfriends.
Bucky: Through highschool.
Steve: Ended right after graduation.
Bucky: We had a joint grad party.
[It’s like they’ve rehearsed this]
“So how long ago was that?”
Steve: Like 5 years?
Bucky: Wow
Director: You’re both like 23 now?
Bucky: I’m 24, just year and a bit older
Steve: Excuse you, I’m 23 and ½. [Playful smirk]
“Why did we break up?”
Bucky: Different colleges, different states, different majors [shrugs, nonchalant]
Steve: I remember it a little differently…
“How long did it take for you to get over us? And what did you do to help yourself”
Steve: Can we skip this one for now?
Bucky: What, why? Who was the girl you dated in college? Brown hair?
Steve: [looks uncomfortable]
“I dare you to take a body shot off of me…to get out of this, you have to take two shots”
Steve: Can we do two shots of water?
Bucky: I’d be okay with that.
“What did you friends and parents think of me?”
Bucky: Since we were childhood friends first, Steve’s mom always knew me and knit me sweaters for my birthday.
Steve: Yeah, I was always allowed over after school, on the weekends, during the holidays. My ma included.
“Do you Facebook stalk me?”
Steve: You must’ve, how else would you’ve know about Peggy?
Bucky: Aha! So you did date her!
Steve: [rolls eyes] I’m bisexual.
Director: You’re not coming out right now, are you?
Steve: Nah, I came out in like 10th grade
“Who was the first person you made out with after we broke up?”
Bucky: Natasha, but for a play!
Steve: [raises eyebrow]
Bucky: I’m gay. You know that.
“Do you remember our anniversary?”
Steve: yeah, [quietly] November 10th.
Bucky: double presents. [smirks]
Director: What?
Steve: Our anniversary and then Hanukkah and Christmas. Double presents.
“Do you still own anything of mine?”
Steve: I have like a really old NASA shirt of yours, from back when it was too big for me.
Bucky: I think I still have a Valentine’s Day teddy bear. It’s probably at my mom’s house.
“Do you regret going out with me?
Bucky: No. Not at all.
Steve: Some of the best years of my life.
Director: So a question from the beginning:
“Why did we break up?”
Steve: I thought I wasn’t good enough. Smart enough.
Bucky: Partially the different colleges thing, didn’t think we knew how to make long-distance work.
Steve: You made a comment about how we tweet drastically different things or something equally dramatic. We had a fight.
Director: Where do y’all live now?
Steve: Chelsea. I can walk to the office.
Bucky: East village. Jewish roots, y’know?
Director: Holy shit. Y’all are right near each other. You haven’t run into each before now?
Bucky: Different lives, I guess.
Steve: You’d catch me at Katz’s on Thursdays though. [small smile]
Bucky: No shit?
Steve: No shit. Love me some matzah ball soup. Always have.
Bucky: Even when I made it when we were both sick?
Steve: It reminds me of the younger days.
[Both stare at each other thoughtfully]
Steve: I think we broke up because we were scared to hold each other back.
Bucky: I went to school in manhattan. Aerospace at Cooper Union.
Steve: Graphic design at VCU. Richmond, Virginia.
Bucky: That’s a big school right?
Steve: Just wanted to blend in for a bit.
Bucky: Sports?
Steve: Baseball, got a small scholarship. But dropped it after sophomore year.
Bucky: I learned to skateboard. Mostly to remember physics.
Steve: And to show off?
Bucky: Haha, yeah, but no, I think we broke up because we knew it would happen sooner or later, especially with college in the fall.
“Am I a better lover than who you’re with currently?”
Steve: Not with anyone. Not since peggy.
Bucky: I had a 3-month long one night stand, like a year ago.
Steve: What, you only saw them at night? Standing?
Bucky: You think you’re so clever, do you?
“What do you miss most about us?”
Bucky: The easy companionship. Easy to talk to.
Steve: Kinda the same, but someone to always hang out with. Even doing nothing was doing something with you.
[Both start to reach towards each other]
“If you could erase every thought of me, would you?”
Steve: Hell no. That’d be like erasing the first 18 years of my life.
Bucky: Same. I’ve known Steve longer than I’ve known my baby sister Becca.
“If we were the last two people on earth, would we become lovers?”
Bucky: To be honest, probably.
Steve: I’d allow it [quiet smile]
Director: Another question you didn’t answer before: “How long did it take for you to get over us?”
Steve: I never got over you. I thought about you constantly.
Bucky: I would start to text you or email you, but would delete them.
Steve: I wish we stayed friends at least.
“Would you do it all over again?”
Steve: In a heartbeat, I love this guy.
Bucky: [almost literal heart eyes emoji]
“Where do you see us in the next 10 years?”
Director: I’d like to see myself at your wedding. [laughs]
Bucky: You wanna try again, Stevie?
Steve: Meet you at Katz’s next Thursday, for lunch?
Director: It’s a date!
[Steve and Bucky practically holding hands over the table.]
Director: Let’s wrap this shit up, shall we? Last question?
“Is there anything you want to apologize for?”
Bucky: I’d like to apologize for not trying after senior year of high school.
Steve: I’d like to apologize for breaking your 2nd Xbox controller.
Bucky: [outraged] That was you?! I’ve been blaming Becca for the last 10 years!
[Screen fades to black, then returns with a picture of Steve and Bucky outside of Katz’s Deli.]