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Isak was officially tipsy. Okay. Maybe it was more like drunk. But he wouldn't admit this to Even. Isak didn't want his boyfriend to feel like he had to take care of him, especially so soon after an episode on a night that Even wanted to take it easy. He would be the master of playing it cool while walking home. There was no way Even would notice.
Even certainly noticed the state his boyfriend was in. They had been out at a party with the boys to celebrate the start of their holiday vacation. What was supposed to be a chill night out had somehow gotten out of hand and now Even was herding Isak toward kollektivet with a firm arm around his waist to keep the stumbling boy moving in more or less the right direction.
"Ev. Why are you holding onto me like this?" Isak asks indignantly. "I can walk just fine. I am the master of walking," he declares with a pout on his face. But this statement takes most of his focus, causing him to veer dangerously close to the edge of the sidewalk before Even helps steer him back on course.
Even looks down at his boyfriend fondly. "Of course you are baby. I just can't keep my hands off of you," he says with a smile and an attempt at a wink.
"Oh. Okay." Isak melts into his side with a dreamy look. "I like when your hands are on me," he whispers up to Even through his lashes. Some part of his brain registers how flirtatious that sounds, but that’s not even his intention. He just wants to tell Even the truth right now.
Even is mesmerized by the boy at his side, who is simply adorable to him at this (and really every) moment. He squeezes Isak's hip and places a gentle kiss on his temple as he continues to guide his boyfriend home.
Isak nuzzles into Even's side as much as he can while also attempting to walk. "I love it when you kiss me like that," he confesses to Even quietly. "Nobody has ever kissed me like that before."
Now that Isak has started talking, he can't seem to stop. Usually, Isak struggles to express himself with words. For him, it is easier to show Even how he feels, rather than talk about it. But tonight, the alcohol flowing through his veins gives him the courage to open up to his boyfriend more than usual.
"I mean you weren't my first kiss. I kissed girls at parties before. Plus, I had a girlfriend first year. But you were the first boy I kissed. My first kiss that mattered. My first kiss that felt real."
Isak clumsily puts a hand on Even's chest to stop their movement so he can properly lean up and brush his nose along Even's. It's a little more uncoordinated than usual, but it still brings a smile to both of their faces. Isak gives Even a quick peck on the lips before resuming their journey home.
As they continue walking again, Isak gets a faraway look on his face. "You know, most of my firsts have been with you," he says as though he is realizing this for the first time.
Even had figured as much, but they never actually talked about it before this moment. They talked about what they wanted and what they were comfortable doing, but had not yet addressed what they had done with other people in the past.
Isak grabs Even's hand and intertwines their fingers as he continues talking. "I never told you this, but you gave me my first blow job, too. That night that you showed up at my doorstep.”
"Really?" Even asks with slight raise of his eyebrows. "I've heard the boys talk about how you used to have so much game with girls. That you hooked up with a different girl every party. I guess I always imagined..." Even leaves his statement hanging, shrugging his shoulders as he looks to Isak.
"I mean I kissed plenty of girls at parties. But nothing more. I could never go through with anything. Usually I just chatted with the girl as soon as the boys left. And I exaggerated about what happened. A lot. I was definitely the master of lying to the boys," he says with a sour look on his face.
Even squeezes their interlocked fingers. He hates seeing Isak sad, but he certainly understands having road bumps in the past. "Well I'm glad we could share that first," he says with a soft smile. “I had never done something like that with a boy before either. I was afraid I’d be complete shit at it.”
“What?!” Isak squeaks. “You were so confident that night it made my head spin! I didn’t know how I’d ever keep up with you! You were so amazing, I thought I was going to embarrass myself very quickly that night.”
They both share a quiet laugh as they arrive at the outer door of kollektivet. Even shrugs. “What can I say? I was very determined to impress you that night. But maybe I’m just a natural? The master of blowjobs,” he declares, waggling his eyebrows at Isak with a laugh.
“Hmm,” Isak pretends to think. “I’ll be the judge of that. I think I’ll need a few samples of your work before I can declare you the master, though.”
Isak gives Even a quick kiss on the lips, passing him his key to the shared apartment as they part. He’s probably sobered up enough to get them in himself, but he is enjoying being taken care of by Even this evening.
As they make their way up to the apartment together with Even’s arm draped loosely around Isak’s waist, the levity of the moment evaporates and the vulnerable look from earlier in their walk returns to the younger boy’s face.
“Will you stay tonight?” he asks Even. He’s not sure if Even will long for the comfort of his own home, but Isak doesn’t want to be alone tonight.
Even agrees with a nod of his head that quickly turns into him nuzzling his boyfriend as they breathe each other in.
They toe off their shoes and hang their outerwear in the entryway. They make their way into Isak’s room and start quietly getting ready for bed. Even brings Isak a glass of water which he drinks without a word. They get into bed silently and face one another.
It’s when the lights are out that Isak is finally able to ask the question that has been weighing on his mind since their conversation about firsts started.
"Could you tell it was my first time that night in the hotel?" he asks self-consciously, unable to hold eye contact with Even.
Even reaches out his hand to gently tilt up Isak’s chin. He waits until green eyes are looking back at him before starting.
“Yes, I suspected that it was your first time. And you were amazing that night. I didn’t realize because you were bad, or whatever else you are worried about.”
Even reaches out and smoothes the wrinkles that have gathered on Isak’s brow. “I wanted to make that night special for you. Even before the mania set in, I had been brainstorming for the right romantic gesture. We just might have ended up in a cozy Airbnb instead of a hotel suite that night.”
Isak closes the distance between them and embraces Even in a tight hug. “Thank you. No matter where we wound up, my first time with you always would have been amazing. I can’t imagine sharing this first with anyone else.”
Even settles on his back and Isak snuggles into his chest, feeling more content than he can ever remember. Though the silence is peaceful now, Isak can’t help break it for one last first.
“Even, I love you,” he confesses softly. Though he had been feeling this way for some time now, this was his first time saying it out loud. He hadn’t uttered those words to someone else in a long time, but they had never felt more true.
Even wraps his arms around Isak tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I love you, too.”
They fall asleep entwined around one another, small smiles on their faces and visions of all the wonderful firsts they have in their future together playing out in their dreams.