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“I’ve done some things that I can’t speak.”
Tommy stared, face blank, no emotions as the words tumbled out. Billy pursed his lips.
“And I know what you’ll do if I tell you. It won’t be too different from now.” Billy tried to speak, but he wanted this… Practicing the truth spell might’ve gone wrong, and it was probably wrong to abuse the fact that Tommy couldn’t control what he was saying but… He did it anyway.
“What- what do you mean?” Billy finally choked out. Tommy had just frozen in place when he realised what happened, after a second, which must have been an eternity for Tommy, he sped to the couch and curled into a ball while sitting on it, willing himself to hide his emotions, not even looking at Billy. The fact his own brother didn’t want to share with him.. It- it hurt.
“You’re the smart one of the two aren’t you? Everyone loves you for a reason.”
“Tommy, why don’t you want to tell me what you did, where you were last month?”
“Why would I? So you can abandon me some more, so you can be even colder? So that I’m not even something that isn’t even in the back of your mind anymore?” His words had a bite to them, it wasn’t bitterness, it was… hurt.
“What are you talking about?” Billy felt irritated, Tommy claiming that Billy didn’t care about him it- it- it wasn’t true. He did care! He did…
“You don’t talk to me, you don’t call, in missions you never worried, you never ask for my help when you go on missions… David didn’t tell me, he didn’t need to. You didn’t notice I had disappeared until David told you. You-you… You don’t care. It’s like I’m just… An extra. I know I’m not anything… Special compared to you, I know I’m not too smart, or too great but... You’re my brother, and yeah you’re a nerd, and I say you’re a loser, but it hurts that you don’t care… I feel like I can-”
And then he stopped, somehow getting himself to clam up against the spell. He stayed quiet… His eyes had started turning red, looking like he might cry.
Billy’s breath hitched, he froze completely, not wanting to believe it. That’s how Tommy felt? Like he was uncared for, like he wasn’t great… Like his own family abandoned him. Guilt flooded Billy and something clicked in his mind.
Why Tommy was never too serious, why Tommy disappeared completely, why Tommy just didn’t open up, why he didn’t talk to people… To Billy.
Tommy left before they left him.
Billy tumbled forward a bit before walking slowly to the couch, and sat down next to Tommy, but not too close. He looked at the white haired boy, still vibrating and twitching once in awhile, but still curled up.
“You feel like can’t what?” It came from a soft whisper, pain coating the tone along with guilt.
Tommy looked at Billy from the corner of his eye, studying him. Billy didn’t know what his brother was looking for, but the brunet made sure that he was an open book, he wanted to show Tommy he cared.
Tommy looked away again, time passed until he finally spoke.
“I feel like I can’t talk to you, like I can’t call you… I feel like I’m just annoying to you. An inconvenience that you got stuck with… A mistake.” His voice was raspy and soft, slower than he usually was, and curled up tighter, shaking more than he usually did.
“Tommy... “ He moved closer “I’m so sorry, I I didn’t know that I was doing that. I care about you Tommy, I really do. You’re my brother, and I’d do anything for you… I love you, Tommy. I know saying this doesn’t make up for being.. Shitty, but I’m gonna try. I’m gonna be better. I promise.” He put his hand on Tommy’s knee.
The blond flinched, he looked like a child, an abandoned toddler, left alone with nobody to care.
And then he hugged Billy, quickly, giving him a squeeze and then letting go, hopping to his feet.
“The spell wore off after I told you that you’re a huge loser.” He gave a weak smile, and then sped off. Billy sat there, slowly realising Tommy had opened up to him. He smiled, and he swore he would be better. If he could rearrange the multiverse he could treat his brother better…
And maybe get him to stop calling him a loser.